Siberian Adventure - April 2005

Aaaaaarggghhhhhh! I had a bloody rat in my room on Tuesday night! Admittedly it was only a teenager, but it’s still a rat! And its parents must be somewhere close. Shudder, I HATE rats. I scooted downstairs to ask for some rat bait but all they gave me was a change of sheets & a bollixing for having bare feet! Not much sleep had on Tuesday night as I kept expecting Family Rodent to join me in my bed. I had to wait until Wednesday for Tatiana Petrovna to inspect my room & decide if I could have some poison. I now have a saucer of death under my bed & I’ve lost my good set of sheets.

I told them they should have let me keep that wee cat; he would have saved me!

I asked Nelly why I was in so much trouble for bare feet. I thought it may be considered impolite, but it’s because many of the people who visit Dirty Dr are extremely sick & so they fear I’ll catch a lurgy. I think “what about my bare hands on the banisters? & my bare nose breathing the same air?” Still, I’ll do as I’m told & keep my feet covered.

Have I told you I now have access to the laundry & so am no longer washing my clothes when I have a shower? Yeah baby! On washing day my room’s a state! Bra’s hanging from the window, knickers off the lamp & bed-ends, trousers & tops hanging off the curtain rail. I dread someone coming to visit on these days.

Every 3rdthird step on Friday had me skating & flailing my arms like a wanna-be windmill! Very undignified, especially when accompanied by gasps, squeals & plenty of cursing, followed by ‘crazy lady’ muttering about how “I HATE this bloody place today & I’ll be pissed off if I end up on my butt!” At 1one point I tried cutting across a patch of snow to avoid the ice & promptly sank to my knees! More gasps & curses because then my jeans & boots were damp & would have me freezing in short order! It was really windy too so my face was frozen, my nose was running & all I could do was sniff, & my eyes were tearing (though I didn’t know this was happening because my face was numb..I only found out once I glimpsed myself in a door & saw mascara frozen on my cheeks..is it any wonder I’m single?) The gods were against my shopping & other commitments & had me chasing normally common items & money machines all over the place for 4 hours! Once safely back home my good humour returned & I had a really good laugh at myself!
Saturday it snowed & blew a gale & was hideous! Sometime Saturday night it started raining so Sunday I went outside to find not ice & snow, nor sludge, but oceans masquerading as puddles! I could do with some water wings or my wetsuit, flippers etc. All the snow & ice from the last few days have turned to water. The temperature had to have been at least +3C (though I’ve lost all perspective when trying to compare with Auckland/NZ temperatures now). No need for a hat & I could probably have ditched my big jacket but was too chicken to.
Yesterday (Wednesday) it was really warm & I was outside without a jacket, oh folks I'm telling you, it was heaven!
Last night it started snowing again & by 9:00pm it was -10C. Today was expected to be freezing but it’s not too bad at all.

I went shopping for food today & an enormous black oasis appeared before my eyes! William, the professional basketball player from Georgia, USA. An English speaker! He returns to the States in June, but comes back to Surgut in September. He’s given me his phone number so I’ll call him in the next couple of days. He nearly fainted when I walked up to him & started talking; said he hadn’t heard proper English for months. He was looking for loo paper in the supermarket; they don’t sell it, you have to go to another shop which I directed him to. We had quite a good chat in the middle of the shop, & so did the locals..2 foreigners going for it in their strange language. We must have looked a bit of a sight..me 5’4”, skinny & white; William 7’2”, big & black! He’s playing basketball for the Surgut University team & lives on the campus which is not far from Planeta. Hopefully he’ll be keen to catch up for coffee & stuff. I did notice he had a bottle of wine in his basket so we could also maybe have a drink together.

Alex’s friend Olya had a car accident on Friday night. It was a three-car pile up & she was responsible. She’d been drinking, the legal limit is 0 (no alcohol at all is tolerated) & unfortunately for her the 3rdthird car involved was a cop! Ooooh bugger! She’s lost her license for 2 years, has to pay for the damage to all 3 cars (insurance won’t pay of course) & so will be out of pocket US$10,000 all up! OUCH!!!!! She has some of the money, but will borrow the rest from friends (it’s what people do here; borrow from friends all the time).

Tuesday I was hauled out of my office to take a fake lesson while being filmed. The film is part of Mayster’s presentation about Planeta when he goes to Oxford next week to collect his award. I’m going to be ‘famous’.

Yesterday I was taken away from my lunch to make a presentation to another group of school kids.

There was no prior warning about either of these things..thank goodness I wasn’t wearing jeans! I wish they would give warning because it would ensure a much more professional result. Never mind, I've got my standard presentation to use & I'll now make sure I have a stash of handouts pre-copied & ready to grab.

Hey, some of you have mentioned that there may be water & power shortages in NZ this winter. Why don’t you petition the Govt. to make a deal with Siberia & pipe some of the snow & ice from here? It would solve your problems & it may help keep the mozzie population down here & stop the rats seeking dry ground in my room!

The pics...the 1stfirst is the only 1one I have from Miss Planeta at this stage & it's just me & the support crew. I helped them clean up. The 2ndsecond is the view from my office window. The day I took this pic was absolutely beautiful with a perfectly clear blue sky. I like my window because I can see the weather changing. I can't see the weather from the windows in the other rooms I use (blinds, curtains, strange angles).

OK, time to tackle some work.

I hope you’re all good & lapping up that gorgeous weather over there. Soak some rays for me please.
Love, hugs & kisses,
Prue xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

Week 10 in Surgut

Greetings Southern Hemispheroids!

Much hilarity over the last week; Nelly’s taught me to swear in the nicest possible way some more. “Yolky Pulky!” It’s kind of like “damn!”, “bugger!”, “shit!” but actually translates as something like “Christmas tree wood”. She’s had me performing like a trained seal for taxi drivers, friends, teachers & Mayster, & they love it!

I got the translation from my Intermediate students on Monday, but only after they’d had a discussion in Russian about how to use “arse” in English. I’d asked them to speak in English & so they hit me up about it. Kate was saying “You’re arse around the world!” What she was trying to say was “Stick it up your arse!” I got the giggles & said I couldn’t BELIEVE I was teaching them how to swear now! I threatened them with death & my sacking if they told on me! Still, it was a bit of light relief & it had to come. I resisted telling them about “get a big, black, hairy dog…!”, but it was difficult. Perhaps “pox-ridden, snot-gobbling, wart-nosed whore from hell” is a lesson I should plan soon? I think I’m morally bound to teach my students verbal self defense, don’t you agree? Besides, I’m getting bored with being so ‘nice’.

Friday, 15.4.05 3 lessons tonight; I have 2 new students..1one each for 2 different groups.

I was talking to Liza outside after our lesson today when the day-time security guy joined us. There’s a wedding at the Institute tonight & some of the guests arrived while we were outside. The security guy told Liza to tell me it should be my wedding next. “Nyet” I said. Then, he asked her to tell me he’d marry me & would like me to have his babies! “NYET!” I squeaked. Hahahaha, horny old codger!

Natasha from my Intermediate group brought her brother, Sergei, along tonight. What a gorgeous boy! Irene came too & at the end of the lesson it was decided we would all go for a drink. Finding somewhere proved to be impossible so we ended up at Irene’s boyfriend’s flat. I wasn’t too keen on going there, thinking that if I couldn’t go OUT out I’d rather be at home. Thank goodness they forced the issue; I had a fab time. Irene’s boyfriend, Sasha, is a gem. I’ve met him before & liked him then, but last night he was great! He doesn’t speak English but between the odd English words he’s picked up from Irene, the Russian I’ve managed to learn, plus some careful listening we managed to have a semi-conversation. It’s amazing how many words are almost the same once you hear them. I was thinking Sasha’s too nice for Irene, and then it occurred to me that perhaps that’s the way of the world. A good person is right for a difficult person in order that a bit of each rubs off onto the other; too much saccharine is sickly! Into bed at 4:30am (I’m an idiot!)

Saturday, April 16, 2005 Needless to say I had a late start to my day. I hopped out of bed, nipped from my room to the bathroom. Aaaaaah fresh & clean, ready to go back to my room to get dressed & face what’s left of the day. I opened the bathroom door & … ZOIKS! The kiddy speech therapist has a clinic today & the parents of her (what would you call them? ... Patients? Students? Clients? Therapees?) were sitting in the living room of my apartment which is between the bathroom & my room.. & all I’ve got is a pashmina (it’s a big scarf guys) wrapped around me! Worst of all, it was a father that was sitting strategically in the path of my blushing dash, & as luck would have it, the key to my room got stuck! I wish I’d shaved my legs..vain cow!

Semi-recovered from my mortification & all strangers departed I emerged from my room & slunk upstairs to my office to do some work research & catch up on the news. Camilla Parker-Bowles-Windsor looked pretty good for a horse with a fantail’s tail on her head! What do you all think of this marriage? Do you care?

Security Codger, his name’s Nikolai, was on duty again today. He suggested we go for a walk when he finished work at 7pm (charades are a marvelous tool); many Russians go for a walk every evening. Thankfully I have a lesson tonight. I don’t fancy being put on the spot by someone who doesn’t understand a considerate “thanks but no thanks” like the Dirty Dr didn’t. An emphatic “no” is damaging to pride & on-going good relations.

There’s a great sounding job teaching English to banking professionals in China, starting September at the latest. Oooooooooh, what to do? I’ve pretty much decided to apply for it. I have nothing to lose, probably won’t get it because my qualifications & experience are around the wrong way, but it’ll be useful to gauge my place in the market. (Thanks Tim for the push!)

I had a lesson at 7pm tonight; 2 new private students (husband Max & wife Natasha). They wanted to pay me tonight but I’ve told them I’ll give them their 1stfirst 2 lessons free of charge so they can be sure they’re happy with my style. They speak practically no English so this is a good test of my ability to start almost from scratch without the help of an interpreter; with luck they’ll spread the word & people will enroll with the Institute. It was a neat hour for me, & they obviously enjoyed it because Max took my hand & kissed it at the end of the lesson! How sweet!

I checked the saucer of death today & I’ve had visitors (oops, sorry about that involuntary shudder!); the contents have been moved around. I have 2 hopes; 1one is that the dirty little munchers die quickly; the other is that they die away from my room! I’ll be checking my shoes & boots before plunging my feet into them from now on.

Licorice is a gastronomic delight that escapes Russian comprehension & my descriptive powers. I finally found the Russian word for it this week just gone & have shown it to Alex & Vasily (being the most experienced people of things non-Russian). Neither of them has even heard of the Russian word! It’s too much for me. I’ve since ordered 3 x 300g bags of Darrell Lea licorice (at the crippling sum of NZ$100..you’d pay less than NZ$30 at home; p&p is NASTY when you’re living in ‘Far North Planet Earth’!) I wrote a nice little piece to go with my on-line order & Cyrillic address about how I’m a Kiwi in Siberia for 12-months, missing my daily fix of Darrell Lea & finding the locals have never even heard of this taste sensation. Hopefully they’ll be wowed by my ‘intrepidness’ & the possibility of a brand new market courtesy of me & send some extra..or pay me massive royalties for the remainder of my extensive life! Cross all your bits for me! I’ll be generous with my gratitude if you do, I promise! Licorice for life! At this price I’ll only be giving 1one piece to each of my students & closest friends. The rest? Well I’m not sure whether to gorge on it, eke it out, or hand it over to the Museum of Stupidity, Excessive Generosity, Financial Folly & Eccentricities (MoSEGaFFE..emphasis on the ‘Gaffe’)!

Alternatively I could bury it in the permafrost for someone to discover in the next millennium so they can attempt to genetically copy this “ancient food of the mammoth”, which were foolishly cloned in 2005 & are now running riot in the year 3005, hungry & angry!

Sunday, April 17, 2005 Olives stuffed with gherkins..YU-U-UM!
I was lucky enough to spot Sveta in the hall this evening & hit her up for the key to the laundry. Yaaahoooooooooooo, I’ll get my washing done tonight rather than tomorrow when the students are around. I live in terror on washing day that my laundry bag will split & my smalls are scattered for all to see.

Monday, April 18, 2005 Nothing of any interest today; e-mails, lesson planning, & another presentation to school students.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005 Family Rodent popped in for another meal overnight. They left crumbs next to the door which was their way of ‘flipping me the bird’ over the scarves which were wedged under the door to prevent their entry! The scarves are only just dry from being washed & now I need to wash them again. Thank goodness it’s so warm now I don’t need to wear them!

It’s been a completely mad day today with constant interruptions. It started with Nelly almost bashing down the bathroom door trying to get to me. She demanded that I join her for a meal in 20 minutes. I told her I wouldn’t be ready in time & she would have to eat without me.

SOMEBODY’S USING MY TOOTHBRUSH! I REFUSE to consider how long this’s been happening. Thank goodness I have a brand new 1one in my room, & there it’ll stay except for the trips it makes to & from the bathroom with me! My towel’s been used too. Ugh!

Once showered & at least dressed Vasily arrived in my room. He nearly had a heart attack when he spotted Muchina on my bed. He leaped backwards out of the door & sputtered “you have a dog!” It was very amusing. Now I know how to manipulate him; borrow someone’s dog to take along to meetings with him as he’s obviously terrified of them! He prattled while I put my face on! Is there no privacy?

A couple of students arrived next; my face is on but I still haven’t done my hair, made my bed, got my boots on or done the dishes..sigh..I feel tatty!

THEN the phone rang & it was 1one of my evening students wanting me to collect her from the front entrance & bring her to my room so she could talk to me. This allowed me to get my boots on at least. I shook & banged them before putting my feet into them. The 1stfirst went on without a hitch; the 2ndsecond had me squealing because there’s something in there! “Ok, calm down bimbo, it’s just your container of hair ties that’s fallen into it!” While Yulia was here Vasily arrived again, gave me a burst for not answering his phone calls (because I was collecting Yulia!), & talked some more. Yulia just wanted to tell me she’d be coming to class tonight..I’m starting to feel a bit crowded.

Finally I was left to myself & I got my hair done & it’s now time for lunch. Nope; Stass has spotted me & wants to talk about moving today’s lesson to tomorrow & what we’ll cover in the lesson.

I was in my office when the ‘telecom’ bloke arrived. He was peering around & under my desk, at me, at my computer & tugging at the cables, then left, all without a single word being spoken. He arrived back & wanted to borrow a chair, again nothing was actually said. Next he came back & found out I speak English instead of Russian so wanted to chat for a while about Australia, New Zealand & how long I’m in Surgut for. Then he returned to tell me he wants lessons but doesn't want to join an existing class; he wants private lessons with me. I’m pretty booked up these days so he’d have to come to me at 5pm or after 9pm. He’ll think about it.
Good grief, he’s back again! "Is your free time in the evenings & weekends? I’d like to spend some time with you. You work evenings? Oh. Every day? Oh, that’s bad! You work Saturdays as well? Wow, you're a busy woman. What about Sundays? Here's my number, call me anytime!" His final visit was in search of his phone that he never had in the 1stfirst place. Time for me to make myself scarce to discourage further visits.

I was told last week that I’m to make a presentation to another school group today. I rocked up only to be told there weren’t enough students for me to bother with.

Final visitor for the day was Nelly. She was pissed off, prickly & supremely offended that I “didn’t want to eat with her today!” I made it clear that I can’t have a shower, get dressed, put my face on, dry & straighten my hair all in 20 minutes. She said I should get out of bed earlier; I explained that my job involves working at night & so my waking & working hours are very different from everyone else’s. She was eventually appeased but doesn’t understand. Then she berated me again for being without shoes when outside my room. I insisted I haven’t done that since the ‘rat night’. But no; I took my boots off to run to my room on Friday night/Saturday morning! I still had socks on but this isn’t good enough. Better that I wake up the other residents with my ‘dainty’ footfall than run the risk of catching some bug through my feet! “What about my toothbrush?” I wanted to scream! It’s lovely that they care about my health & well-being but Security are a bunch of narks!

At this point I’m not sure whether to burst out laughing or sit down & cry over this frustrating & wasted day! Nah, a good laugh has done the trick!

If anyone’s reading negativity/misery in this, earlier or future messages please don’t! All I’m doing is writing about this part of my life; EVERY experience & emotion, good & not so… My weekly e-mails are … to let you know I’m alive, well & in no danger (safety net for a lone traveller..silence translates to “call 111 or Interpol!”) ... my diary of this adventure (for me to read & remember!) Home sickness is a given at any point, it comes & goes, but it doesn’t mean “waah, I need to come home now!” That’s what ‘return tickets’ are for! If I NEED to come home nothing will stop me!

Alex was looking for a word in the dictionary tonight & was shocked to find the Russian word for ‘penis’. “This dictionary has vulgar words in it? Too much!” Russian dictionaries apparently don’t have words like this. They’re far too rude for the eyes of children, old people & women. “Penis’ & all its variants are far worse than ‘Fuck’ here. He blushed throughout this conversation & wouldn’t use the ‘p’ word. I apologised for embarrassing him but he said it’s ok because I don’t know these things “but Prue, please don’t use these words!” I assured him I won’t.

Talking to Alex the other night about traditional weddings I discovered they don’t celebrate 21st’s here. He wanted to know the ‘why’s & how’s’ of this foreign celebration. When it came to the yard glass he was staggered! I’m going to try & get 1one for him as my ‘thank you/farewell’ gift. He won’t use it but it’ll be a trophy for him!

Wednesday, April 21, 2005 Not much to say for today; frantically busy with back to back lessons starting at 3pm & finally finishing at 11:30pm. Thank goodness Muchina doesn’t expect conversation when I get ‘home’!

Thursday, April 21, 2005 A similar start to today as Tuesday but with a birthday celebration, complete with cake & chocolate, immediately after lunch (soup, chicken & rice) & my tummy is now rolling over the top of my pants & I can’t hold it in. Gross!!!

Nelly’s pissed with me again because I’ve turned down her invitation to a concert on Saturday night as I’m working & also because I’ve already accepted an invitation for 1st1st of May (Easter)..sigh.

Yep, Nelly came back & spent 1.5 hours making conversation & biting me for not being available for 1stthe 1st of May. Grrrrrr!

Wish me luck with the remainder of today! It's +15C today! I'm in the tropics!!!

Hope you're well & happy & enjoying the cooler weather..I love autumn..nice sunny days, cool nights & extra blankets to snuggle into! Bliss!!!

Love Prue XXXX

Week 11 in Surgut

Noticing the length of this message I’m consoling myself by thinking the time spent reading is shorter than the time spent yapping if I was with you. You have a week to read my epistle, over Sunday brunch rather than The Sunday News perhaps?

I forgot to tell you last week; I popped into the café on Friday afternoon to pay for Nelly’s morning tea & lunch (at the moment it’s the only way I can occasionally repay hers & Victor’s generosity). Oleg (he came to 2 of my lessons but can’t afford Planeta’s fees) & another student were blowing up balloons for the wedding that night. Oleg presented me with a pink balloon. He’d told me off after my presentation last week because I’d left my lappy unattended at the back of the room, next to him & his mates, while I made my speech.. grr >:-{ grr “& Russians will STEAL your things Prue!” I told Oleg & his friends that I trust them & so wasn’t worried. I guess the balloon is his way of thanking me for that trust. My balloon now sits in my office where I can see it everyday, as do my stream of visitors.

This reminds me I shouldn’t be such a whingy bitch about visitors & interruptions (refer last week); they come because they like me & I like them! There’ll be plenty of times ahead when I pine for these people!! I know I’ll still bleat sometimes because if I don’t I’ll explode from frustration! I’m only human after all!

From the minute I arrived people commented that I smile a lot. Irene noted last week that I smile at strangers when they come & go from the Institute. She said “you smile at everyone even though no-one smiles back at you! Do you understand they never will?” I said I know, but it’s not true; most of the students smile at me now..some of them actually match mine in size! Misha the Scary has greeted me 1stfirst for the last week! (not sure that’s a good thing..he’s probably thinking about his handcuffs & buzz saw & eating my brain ‘Hannibal Lector’ style!) Visiting students from other institutions spot me & say “hello”, stop to chat if they can say more than “hello” (buggered if I know how they know ‘I’m the One’!) People dropping off & collecting their poppets from Montessori are acknowledging me & smiling more frequently..the babushkas too..tough nuts I can assure you!! Even the trendy, aloof hairdressers are greeting me in English & Russian this week! My strike rate’s about 35% & rising; I reckon that’s bloody good for just over 2 months! The rest either look at me sideways (better than ignoring me entirely) or tuck their heads down & dash past! Ha! I’ve got them too..they know who I am! 7.5 months to tame & woo them!

Thursday, April 21, 2005 Charging off to my 1stfirst lesson for the night, Tatiana Petrovna grabbed me & took me to the kitchen. I thought she was going to slip me some extra yummy food (which she does occasionally), but no. She wanted to show me she has a young cat in the kitchen now AND it’s caught a baby rat! Cat & rat are playing the perennial game..”Gotcha, gotcha, but I’m NOT gunna eatcha ‘til I’m sick of playing with ya; what fun!” I felt sorry for it, but better it be terrified than me! The rat was smaller than mine so I was gratified when, in 1one bid for freedom, Tatiana Petrovna screamed & danced more than I ever did! I’m not sure whether Tatiana Petrovna was telling me this was MY rat, or that the cat will be delivered to my room for my protection. I hope it’s the latter; I could do with some ‘fur therapy’.

You know I often have a really itchy nose, & spring truly gets it going! It was giving me grief tonight during my 1stfirst lesson & Alexander Vasilivich told me in Russia an itchy nose means you MUST drink this night. I asked if tea was ok, but apparently not; it has to be wine, vodka or other ‘hard’ drink. Bummer!

How do you like the double-barreled names? I’m practicing! Russians have a 1stfirst name, a surname & a patronymic (which is their father’s 1stfirst name). They’re generally addressed by their 1stfirst name & patronymic. So, Mikhailovna is the feminine form, Mikhailivich is the masculine form e.g. Katarina Mikhailovna, Sergei Mikhailivich..brother & sister, father Mikhail (I don’t think I’m spelling it right, but you get the idea aye?!) My father was Ewen Francis Keddie McArthur, aka Buck. Bloody hell, which to choose? I would be addressed as Prudence Ewenovna..or is that Prudence Buckovna? My brother would probably be (given the family penchant for it..Nana & Granddad McArthur & their 11 kids + my sister..’Prudence’ doesn’t seem so bad now..sorry I digress & burble) Francis Ewenovich or Francis Buckovich.

Alex (don’t know his patronymic yet) has been approached by an oil company in Scotland. He told me he can’t take a job in an English speaking country because he doesn’t speak English well enough; I told him he speaks beautifully well! Drongo that I am he had to tell me it’s oil & gas technical language he doesn’t know. So now our lessons are focused on this industry..I’LL be a qualified oil & gas geologist by the end of 2005! It’s going to be tough when we start getting into more technical detail (“Physics? Speak Russian please!); I hope my brain’s up to it!
Lyuba’s burned a CD for me..Lisa Stansfield & “Berry” White.

I didn’t manage to phone William last week; Alex has put me on notice..”We’re 100% catching up on Sunday for a walk, invite William!”

Max & Natasha have a friend, Andre, who plays basketball for Surgut University too. They’ve met William. Max & Natasha want to emigrate to Canada. Andre wants to be able to communicate with William. Alex is working with a man who wants to learn English & move to Canada. What a group to weave! Older than most of my students, younger than Nelly Pavlovna & Victor, almost my age! Hoorah for social interaction!!! & let’s not forget possible ‘pingers’!

Friday, April 22, 2005 I wasted time doing my hair this morning. It’s overcast & threatening to rain so my hair’s reverted to curly & fluffy in spite of straightening irons & ‘sticky shit’! Not even my cap could protect it! It got the ‘thumbs up’ from lots of people though.
Gastronomic find for today is Pomegranate juice – “vo-de-dadaa” (see below). It’s sour (makes your jaw ache & saliva ducts squirt, like cooking apples do), hooowaaaaaah!

I’ve tried phoning William to invite him to join Alex, Lyuba, Olya & me for a walk & coffee on Sunday without success. I think he got his phone number wrong when he gave it to me.

My 1stfirst real pay today..whew! 50/50 Russian bank account & Westpac Visa in preparation for travel. I’m hoping I’ll be able to live off Alex, & Max & Natasha from now on.
It’s been a difficult day for teaching.
One group has lessons on ‘glide-time’ to fit their Planeta timetable (my offer to accommodate). The forecast weekly timetable is changed on a daily basis it seems (I don’t know how the students cope!) Anyway, they told me at 2pm they wanted a lesson with me at 4pm. “Ok! I can do that.” There’s been friction between these kids for 3 weeks now & today I decided I’D had enough. I told them “today’s lesson’s going to be spent sorting out what the problem is”. UGLY!! Bad idea, Prue! Now I have to start from scratch & plan an entirely new approach to their lessons, if either one ever comes back..doh!
My next lesson for the day had one of the girls in tears cos she had a headache & needed to leave early; I helped her out of the building. Of the remaining 2 students, Alexander Vasilivich is usually streets ahead, but when I returned to the room he’d donned Dopey’s hat & it was an uphill battle for the next hour. AttentionDeficitDisorder I can understand with kids; with adults I bite my tongue & kick on, “but don’t frigging push it Big Fella!”

“One lesson to go, can’t wait, I just want some ‘quiet time’!” But no; Kate’s not coming, Natasha hasn’t arrived, Irina’s got the pip & has stopped coming since I suggested she needed to work VERY hard in order to pass the exam at the end of next month, & Nastya isn’t due to return to lessons until May. “Yippee!” says Irene, “Sasha’s waiting in the car; we’re taking you to the airport for drinks & pizza.“ Natasha arrived..but so did Ramaan; he wants to replace my light bulb. “Ok, I’ll just be a moment girls.” Light bulb changed & Ramaan wants something more. My response..”ya-nya-pinyala”..I don’t understand! Down the stairs & out the door I shot to get the girls to interpret for me. Ramaan has a programme he wants to install on my computer. He’s a sparky, what the…? It’s a Russian/English translation programme..what a darling! It doesn’t work though cos ‘MS Windows’ doesn’t have the required font. I told him I’d download the font tomorrow from the internet. Alex has also loaded a translation programme for me..between the 2 I may be able to describe delicacies such as licorice & not cripple myself financially arranging deliveries in future!
Dinner & drinks: I bless Sasha’s presence; Natasha’s in the doldrums & Irene’s conversation always revolves around herself. Sasha has an endless stream of questions & conversation about all sorts of things. Irene & Natasha are forced to translate so they get their lesson & I get some intelligent conversation.
Sasha has a fancy cell phone with internet access & wanted to contact one of you. I said you’d all be in bed, but he tried anyway. Sure enough …! He’s determined though, & tried contacting random NZ people. Hahahaha, thank goodness no-one seemed to be on-line at NZ4am on Saturday morning.
My favorite new word for today.. “vo-de-dadaa!” – “wow!”

Saturday, April 23, 2005 11:17 PM and I’ve just finished work! There’s a wedding on & food’s still being served, so goodness knows what time it’ll wind up. I’ve just poured myself a relaxing martini & will toast the newly weds.
My lesson tonight was with Max & Natasha. I’ve asked them to call their friend Andre & get him to ask William to call me.

Much earlier: Guess what?! I’ve French plaited my hair today! Granted, there’re a couple of clips to control wisps, but still…! My hair hasn’t been this long for..criminy, YEARS! Pre-Jarvis era, that’s for sure. Sorry guys, a girly moment.

It’s SO warm today (approx. 18C)..a gorgeous day! Warm enough to wear only a singlet (& jeans of course!), indoors & out! (blissful sigh from my skin). The locals continue to wear long sleeves, hats, coats & jackets (cold paranoia I think); they looked askance at me; my minders went “grrrrr”, & I tripped happily about in my unclothed state ;oD! No doubt Nelly will have something to say to me on Monday.

Ramaan arrived at my room just as I was hanging my freshly laundered undies off the window latches. Cool..NOT! He wants my computer again so we, well I, sprinted up the stairs to my office. He’s brought a disk with a Pak ‘n’ Save trolley load of fonts..none of them cure the translator problem. We surfed the net, still nothing. 90 minutes later he gave up, but will be back ‘next week’. ‘Russian time’ is much the same as ‘Island time’..are Kiwi’s & Aussies too hung up on making appointment times & meeting them? Maybe! My heart rate sky-rockets with every unscheduled arrival that makes me late for appointments. Ramaan’s also loaded Elton John into my music files.

Will one of you e-mail me a pic of a Pak’n’Save trolley, preferably with a family’s worth of groceries or with a buddy in it, OR both please? St Luke’s or Greenlane Foodtown aisles would be good; Port Douglas Coles with separate ciggie stand too.

I’ve spent most of the day in my office working. Sadly, I took a moment to look out the window while thinking about something & “yea gods” there’s a naked man standing in the window opposite mine. 65-ish, fat, saggy, wrinkly & see-through white (shudder). I feel ill!

12:04 AM Oh no! The music’s been cranked up..this’s going to be a BIG party! I’m listening to Boney-M at maximum volume right now..t’rific! Surgutians don’t seem to go for Abba (small mercy), love Kylie ‘the singing budgie’ Minogue, but don’t play her at weddings (large mercy)..she’s probably saved for stag & hen’s nights..bump & grind baby! MC Hammer (“Can’t Touch This”) is a popular wedding party choice; ‘the chicken dance’ is a must! I’m a bitch I know; I sit here, cringe, shake my head & chuckle! If it gets too much I plug in my earphones & rock away to Salmonella Dub & The Feelers! Actually, I’d like to play Salmonella Dub for Max; The Surgut Express Band could have a go at some of their tracks!

Sunday, April 24, 2005 Today started with a text from Clur just before 11am (thanks bub, I needed the wake-up call!) I shot into the shower in a panic cos Alex had said they’d collect me at 10-ish. I was just getting my kit on when he phoned to ask if I’d like to go to church with them in 10 minutes. I said I couldn’t cos I wasn’t ready yet. It’s just as well cos he told me later there were about 1000 people at the service! That’s a BIG church!
He collected me around 1pm & we went to an Italian restaurant for lunch..yummy! I had rabbit (scratch that; I had rabbit bones! Not much food here during winter to fatten Thumper), fresh green salad, grilled veg & garlic pizza bread. The duty manager came to talk to me..she wanted to know what I thought of the restaurant layout (what would I know?), the staff & the food, all in English! I was effusive in my praise of the staff..they smile & make eye-contact! Realistically, she was more interested in showing off her English language prowess to a ‘native’. Fine by me; I get a hell of a kick every time someone comes to talk! I praised her skill & thanked her for her company.
From there we went to a shop that specializes in fur. FLIP ME! Sooooo many coats & jackets. I stroked mink & rat fur. I’m gutted to report rat is the nicest! Next was a booze shop..Rosemount Estate was there at an exorbitant price. I hope it’s better quality than the stuff I’ve had in NZ otherwise it’s no advertisement for the great wine produced ‘down under’! Alex wants to try it but I just couldn’t bring myself to recommend it, especially at that price.
We met Olya & went to a fab supermarket to buy beer, juice & nibbles for a picnic in the forest. Lyuba joined us there & a good time was had by all. Picture it; 4 of us trying to perch on a square of cotton about the size of 2 pillowcases (Lyuba’s a big girl too!), plus drinks & nibbles. By the end we all had wet butts & trashed footwear. There’s still snow in the forest & it’s NOT warm but I was staunch! It’s agreed I’ll make a good Russian woman.
Lots of “ooh-ing & aah-ing” & appreciative laughter at my unsolicited sprinkling of Russian words, especially “zazdarovia” (cheers) & “ya-pinyula” (I understand). “Nyet” always produces peels of laughter in whatever company..I have no idea why given everyone tells me with major approval “you speak Russian without a foreign accent, your pronunciation is perfect!” I’ve earned myself an invite to go clubbing..an all-nighter at a place around 90 minutes from here, departing that city for Surgut at 6a.m. on a bus. What if I don’t know or like the music & they think I’m a really, really BAD dancer? I can do it, I can do it, surely I can do it, ooooh I’m not sure I can do it! If I do I’ll be a wreck by the end of it & for the next week!
I needed to be back at the Institute before 6pm cos Nelly & her mates were collecting me then to go to another concert by “The Surgut Express Band”.
This time the band was joined by some of the Surgut Symphony Orchestra, a pianist from Tomsk & a conductor from Moscow. The music was really good; pieces by George Gershwin, classic pieces from shows & some others. The pianist from Tomsk was brilliant, & her dress was GORGEOUS! I want it!!! The concert didn’t cost me a single kopec..a personal invitation from Max got me in! Before the concert started he came to tell me William’s out of town for the next week but will call when he’s back in town.
The trip to & from the concert was pretty hairy. Kate, wife of Vladimir the politician, was our driver, though I use ‘driver’ loosely. She drove down one road into oncoming traffic (yolky pulky!), she created her own lane most of the way (earning a constant barrage of toots from other drivers..cringe), nearly ran a red light & almost catapulted Nelly from the back seat through the windscreen, except Tatiana & I grabbed Nelly on her way past (we stopped in the middle of the intersection & stayed there while traffic drove around us!..HOLY CRAP!) All this without Kate turning a hair. I’m telling you, I scrambled out of that vehicle as fast as I could. Next time? “Taxi!”

Melise: Tonight I wore the necklace you gave me. It ALWAYS attracts covetous looks! Thank you, again!

Monday, April 25, 2005 It’s a yucky rainy day here today. If it wasn’t for the typically Russian apartment block opposite my office I’d think I was in Auckland!

Speaking of Russian apartment blocks, I want to try & get a photo of the entrance to one for us. I’m not sure how to tactfully ask & I don’t want to offend.

I stopped to chat with Oleg today. He was sitting by himself near the security desk. He told me about his weekend, then showed me something written on his bag – “I love you, Prue” God I’m a soft touch! I went all soft & mumsy! Ben, you’d better get over here quick or else I’ll end up adopting a small school’s worth of Russian brothers & sisters for you!

No lesson tonight..Kate’s sick, Irene’s working, Nastya’s still not back from where-ever she is & Natasha is bogged down with exam prep. I’ve spent the day & night sanitizing my Outlook journal so I can print a report of my activities for Vasily. There’s still about 4 hours worth of work to do on it..I have to mark EVERY e-mail to you all & the personal activities in my calendar as ‘Private’ so they don’t show on the report, & then tag every work item with “Planeta”. I didn’t realise how full every day has been! It’s a “YAWN” activity & I’ve learned a good lesson..shower, brush your teeth, clean knickers on AND sanitise your journal daily!

Tuesday, April 26, 2005 12:40 AM William just phoned! Cheeky bugger!! He’s just flown in from St Pete’s & felt like hearing “real English”. I think he wanted to catch up now but it’s too late for a Monday night. I had to laugh; he said it’s nice to chat without changing the way he talks (which is really slow to my ears & about the speed I speak to my beginner students; I can’t wait to hear him slow down!) True to form, I prattled at a hundred miles an hour & he understood every word. Now I’m keyed up.

Aside from William’s late night call messing with my sleep, I was really cold..2 sets of polyprops & Muchina firmly wedged into my tummy! It took a couple of hours to warm up & fall asleep. I woke at 7:30am confused as to why. I dozed on & off for a couple of hours, then finally fell into a deeper sleep. Nelly phoned at 10am & woke me up. If she’d been at my door I’d have bashed her! I forced myself out of bed 30 minutes later. Muchina was looking a lot worse for wear when I hauled him out from under the blankets.
I know why I was so cold last night..it’s been snowing again! Lovers of spring are freaks, no matter what country; it’s a schizophrenic season! Now it’s raining & warm so it’ll be another curly-hair day.

Waiting to collect Nelly for lunch & a couple of girl students came to join me. “You’re always smiling!” (Yeah, but you should’ve seen how cranky I was when a coat hanger fell off the rail in my wardrobe before!) Watch out though kids’, hugging’s next (for my favourites)! The girls don’t make me feel this way quite so much; they’re a bit ‘vampish’, but lots of the guys just seem so sweet & .. kind of sad & grey. I love it when I give them a ‘beamer’ & their faces light up & give me one in return. They go all gorky like 14 year-olds! When I think back just a month I get a real ‘WOW’!

“Nelly! I’m so hungry I could chew my own arm off..let’s go!” She didn’t get the joke but she bustled anyway. Borsch (beetroot soup, Ben), with mayonnaise of course (huh?), ploff (what? You don’t want mayo & train smash on your chicken fried rice Prue?), coleslaw with lashings of mayo, kleb & compote (bread & juice..crazy I know, but these come without mayo!)

Nelly had a conniption when the 6th student in a row greeted us with “Hi!” I knew it would happen sooner or later..she takes pride in schooling them in the ‘proper manner of greeting’, 1950’s style! It’s MY fervent hope the yearbook for 2005 begins with “Hi!” & is loaded with photos of smiling students! Even better if I get them all saying “Gidday!”, which I might start next week! I’ll be happy for either to be my mark in history if it happens! Hahaha, I’m an evil little maggot!

My 1stfirst lesson of the day is to be rescheduled due to conflicting timetables. The 2ndsecond lesson took an upward turn when Alexander left due to business; the remaining girls & I had a ball. The lesson was about illness, what to say to a doctor & what to expect the doctor to say in return. Once Alexander left things turned ‘earthy’..”diarreah! (giggle)”, “constipation! (cackle)”, “nausea..PREGNANT! (hahaha)”, “contraception, condoms; I don’t have a man, but if I did…! (hahahahahahaha)”
“Prue?”
(oh god) “Yes?”
“Do you have a man?”
“No”
“Do you have a man in Surgut?”
(sigh) …

I can get my lip line or eye line tattooed for NZ$150. Apparently a Russian army of men will fall at my feet if I do!

The 3rdthird lesson for tonight is to be rescheduled, due to work pressure.

I want to keep my weekends free for exploring & excursions now the weather’s getting better; the next 2 weekends & Mondays are major celebrations here (Spring & Labour Day this weekend, Victory Day next weekend [60th Anniversary, so it’ll be BIG]) & will mean more rescheduled lessons. I can’t see me getting a proper weekend for 6 – 8 weeks..STINK! Oh well, holidays will start then.

I finally cracked the last of the crabby female security ladies a couple of weeks ago; I got Valentina to smile at me & talk. Tonight she’s putty in my hands..she has a cold so I took her a plate of fruit. 10 minutes later I found her happily chowing down on the grapes.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005 It was cold again last night..2 sets of polyprops, a polar fleece, my beanie, Muchina AND sleeping bag! I slept well though!

The ‘telecom’ man popped in again today. He’s wounded I didn’t call him over the weekend. I reminded him that last weekend was very full, as will be the next few. He told me (with full pouty face) he has “many, many questions to ask”. I’ll call him this Saturday, perhaps. If he’s looking for friendship, then ok. If not, he can have my weekend time in exchange for excursions or mega-roubles; the alternative is to join an existing Planeta class.

Taking a moment to look out my office window while pondering a lesson today I did a double-take. Hells bells, that’s smoke coming out the window of a flat opposite! I sprinted from my office, pounded on Dmitri’s door & burst in. He & Vladimir looked at me like I’d gone crazy until I told them there’s a fire. They looked out the window, went “ooh, aah” & looked back at me.
“Call the fire brigade guys!”
Between our call & the fire brigade arriving we heard a loud ‘pop’ & the smoke really started billowing out. The window hadn’t broken yet, that was still to come.
I commented “I hope no-one’s in there!” Their response was merely a shrug. My belly dropped at the nonchalance. 10 million ‘capitalists/democrats’ killed during the communist years; more lost in the 2ndsecond World War; 100’s of 1,000’s have died through hardship in the last 10 years & counting; life is cheap, cheap, cheap! It’s hard to comprehend!
Friends & family will rally to re-establish & refurnish the home of these people, if they’ve survived. Insurance is beyond the average household.
Awesome fire truck! Kiwi firemen would suffer ‘truck-envy’! I’m no fireman, but I’m pretty sure the hose isn’t supposed to have a hole in it though. I didn’t get a photo of that..I was too busy videoing by then.
Once the fire was under control & the contents of the flat were biffed out the window the boys then broke into 3 other flats to open the windows. I suppose it’s because the occupants are away & their homes need to be aired, otherwise there’s cause for suspicion in this block.
The flat on the top floor & to the right of the fire had its windows opened by the owner at this point. The amount of smoke that came out made me think IT was on fire too. I was ready to set the alarm off again, but no need.

My lungs have been really sore for the rest of the day & night; I’m very asthma-ry, & sucking on my inhalers. That fire made bad air! I hate to think how the neighbours are feeling; I watched a few choking & gagging out their windows, but that didn’t stop them leaning out to have a look & copping a face full of smoke! We humans are funny creatures’ aye?!

Alex has a new private student for me, starting May 3rd. That’s it..my evening timetable’s now chocker with back-to-back lessons from 6pm until 11pm daily, some days starting at 4pm. My only hope now is to get students for daytime lessons in groups through Planeta or join existing evening Planeta lessons. Daytime classes will mean a minimum 12-14 hour working day; just like being back at Westpac!

Max & Natasha brought their son, Kerell, to the lesson tonight. He’s 4 years old, bored, noisy, demanding, overtired (as am I), & I wanted to yell at him by 11pm & after 2 hours! Nelly phoned 3 times during this lesson & I wanted to yell at her too! (Marj Simpson ‘hmmmm’ type growl)

Another freezing night that calls for full sleeping regalia. This is crazy!

Thursday, April 28, 2005 I did a bit of rearranging in Vasily’s classroom today. He still hasn’t unpacked the 3 cartons from the shift about 6 weeks ago! Everything’s untidy & I can’t stand it any longer. I had to ask Misha to come & help me move a couple of cabinets. They’re not too heavy, just awkward & keep getting caught on the lino. At the end of it he shook my hand..strange here to do that, but then he’s not from Russia.

Yulia’s over the moon tonight. She & her husband split a couple of months ago, but last night he came back. I got her to write about it & I was over the moon. Her grammar & spelling has improved beyond belief.
Katya was a bit blue cos she wants to speak & write as well as Yulia. I reminded her she couldn’t speak & barely understood English at her 1stfirst lesson 3 weeks ago & told her I’m very proud of her. She was over the moon by the time she left. A happy trio of moonbeams tonight.

I popped back to my room to grab all required for a pot of tea with Alex. While there I finally found the REAL reason why I’m so cold at night..my heater’s given up the ghost! I spotted Misha & dragged him to my room to show him. The result? Close your window, someone will come tomorrow. I’m so glad I brought my sleeping bag.

Alex’s brain’s fried tonight so we just chatted about ‘stuff’. Apparently I can book a week-long holiday in a place close to Luxor in Egypt, flights, accommodation, breakfast & dinner provided, for around NZ$900. He’s been to this place & says it’s great & safe. There’s nothing to do but relax, lie in the sun, swim in the hotel’s pool & the sea. Something to think about.

My lungs still hurt from yesterday’s fire.

Friday, April 29, 2005 One last quick note to end this message.

I’m completely shattered today..I got absolutely NO sleep last night! To add to the discomfort of no heating, I’ve been joined by 2 rats! Once in bed & the lights were out they decided it was time to do some reconnaissance. I spent the night listening to them rattling my clean dishes on the windowsill & checking out every nook & cranny in the room.
It’s Easter this weekend so there’s lots going on. I’ve been given 2 Easter eggs (hard boiled eggs soaked in food colouring..1one pink, 1one purple) & a loaf of special bread. The ‘icing’ on top is pav! YUM!!!
NEWSBREAK: I’ve just gone to my room, & ‘hello’! The cat’s there & the little darling has already caught 1one of the rats! If he’s still there when I go to bed tonight I’ll keep him (it should be safe by then to assume all rats have been dispatched so I’ll be safe from him bringing me a ‘gift’ in bed!)

Toodle pip. “Spraznicum pass he”..”Happy Easter”
Prue XXXX

Week 12 in Surgut (I’m bored with this heading! 1one week to go!!)

Saturday, 30 April 2005 Mayster found me waiting with Irene for Sasha to collect her after last night’s lesson. He asked me, via Irene, if I was cold in my room. ”Yep!” He asked why I hadn’t told anyone (if I hadn’t, how did he know to ask?) & I said I’d told Misha. Misha was curtly dispatched to find a heater for me; he returned with something that looked like a mini spotlight from WWII for searching enemy aircraft! It didn’t work so Mayster told me to just wait a moment. 20 minutes later he was back with a brand new fin heater..YIPEEEEEEEE! Mayster delivered it to my room, set it up & waited to make sure it worked. He was much taken with Muchina, so much that when he left he patted him! Hahahahahaha! What a dag! I wished Mayster “Spraznicum pass he” & scored belly laughs, hugs & kisses!

Moggy spent the night in my room. A great idea to start with; he’d caught a mouse by 11pm! There must be a rodent in the room next door though, because he spent the rest of the night attacking the door between that room & mine. I tossed him out in the wee hours, but by then the sun was rising (a bit before 4am).

Mog’s my devoted companion today. He’s spent most of today on my lap, climbing up for massive smooches around my face, paws into my hair & nuzzling my ears! It has nothing to do with the plate of meat I’ve put down for him! Yeah right! He’s popped out occasionally for loo stops & to play with the kids waiting for speech therapy. Right now he’s happily curled up on my bed catching some zzzzz’s. It’s exhausting being the recipient of endless attention & affection! It’s been great having a wee buddy to talk to & play with today.

I’m ACHING for some hot chips! I asked Irene & Natasha where I could buy some that’s close to here. I’d planned to curl up with hot chips & mayo & watch a DVD before crashing early but Irene insisted she & Sasha drive me & we eat together. I didn’t realise how hungry I was. I had chicken, gretchka & ‘shrooms, grated carrot & ‘shroom salad, another yummy salad, olives, a bread roll, double the load of chips the girly wanted to give me, a scoop of mango ice-cream & a bottle of pepsi..PIG!..& I could do it all again! Delicious, very cheap & oh so comforting!