Siberian Adventure - December 2005 - It's All Over

Thursday, 01 December 2005 Uh-oh! I don’t think I have enough bags for my gear!

I’m starting to get itchy & scratchy now. My New Zealand travel agent is being a pain! I leave Surgut tomorrow & I still don’t have a date or itinerary for departure from Moscow.

Shopping day today; farewell gifts to be bought.

Final drinks with Mark, I felt lousy. He cried.

Friday, 02 December 2005 Today’s the day. Final cleaning & packing. I was right yesterday; there’s not enough room in my bags for everything.
As fast as I gifted surplus to people, they gave me something in return. Nightmare!
Bags finally closed with some encouragement from me sitting on them, collected by ‘Misha’s replacement’s replacement’, & it’s time to go.
Nelly was going to come to the airport with me, but due to too much luggage & the need for 2 men to help me with my bags, there was no room in the car for her. Sad scene; she cried & shook & had to be helped away. I on the other hand was bundled into the car & given no time to dwell; chatter, chatter, question, question, question, went the boys while I discretely mopped my tears & sniffed between answers & conversation.
At the airport, I was stopped at the first security check..”ah, the questionable mass in that bag is jewellery; in the bumbag is 500 roubles in coin..sorry, I didn’t mean to stockpile. Uncomfortably heavy, but I’m sure Moscow will deplete it as quickly as possible!”
The boys decided I must have my bags shrink wrapped because they’re “unusual & interesting”. Want to guess how much my luggage weighed? 52 KG’S! Only 4kg’s off my own weight; ridiculous! Dispatched to pay for my excess, when I returned to collect my passport I was summonsed to a private room. Accelerating heart beat (please say I’m not going to be strip-searched..I couldn’t stand it!), I merely had to reassure them that my hairdryer was not an AK-47 in drag.

The true Siberian Adventure is over. It’s been a blast! An experience of a lifetime, one I wouldn’t trade for anything, but I’m now tranquil it’s come to a close. It’s done me the world of good; I’ve achieved all I had hoped, & more besides. Lots of lessons learned too! My only regret is that I didn’t get to see more of the country; however with the friends I’ve made, I’m confident that if I want to return to Russia, there’ll be plenty of sponsors to help me in.
Now it’s time to ease my way back towards a more ‘comfortable’ lifestyle. Mexico will present huge cultural & emotional challenges as well; it remains to be seen which will be the toughest..accepting & acceptance of the locals vs. my expat colleagues. I think I’m most afraid of the expat factor! I AM looking forward to having a kitchen & the healthier diet that comes with it.

Friday, 02 December 2005 An uneventful flight until the end, when we couldn’t land. We made several false starts, & circled plenty of times. No such thing as a reassuring message from the pilot, we were left to knot stomachs & swap concerned looks. I still don’t know what the problem was, but clearly it wasn’t a 'major' as I’m writing to you now from Moscow.
Alex was waiting for me, bless his cottons. Not just waiting, but he actually sweet talked security into letting him through to the arrival area so he could help me get my bags off the carousel. Not a trolley to be found for love nor money, we staggered our way outside to wait for our taxi.
Finally back to Alex & Olya’s, dinner eaten, & we all fell into bed.
Their apartment consists of a bathroom/laundry, kitchen, & living room/bedroom. Sergei sleeps in a high bunk at the end of the living room, Alex & Olya sleep on the couch, & I sleep on a camp stretcher in the kitchen.

Saturday, 03 December 2005 Up & about early; Alex took Sergei to have a tooth removed, Olya & I made bliny & chatted via the computer translator.
Alex & Sergei arrived back home, Sergei took to the couch & tv, & the ‘big people’ went out.
My 1st experience riding the underground..I’m sure it’s a drag to do it everyday, but I had a ball! It took about 90-minutes to get into Moscow Central.
Destination: Red Square & the Kremlin.
Unfortunately the Kremlin was closed, but if we want we can go back tomorrow & view Lenin in all his dead, embalmed & waxed, yet decomposing glory.
We went into a necrypt..beautiful Orthodox paintings & icons, the place is home to rows of copper coffins, the earliest dated back to 1356.
Alex & Olya were beside themselves..Alex decided to queue hop & play his trump card..”I have a guest from New Zealand, can we go straight in to the royal museum?”, & away we went. Not just the museum without queuing, my presence brought an awesome bonus..we were allowed to enter the ‘Diamond Fund’. OH MY GOD!!!!! Jewellery, crowns, tiaras, ornaments, gifts from foreign countries, all once belonging to the Tsars & Tsarina’s of Russia. One of the stones was 130 carats! FLIP!!! Sadly, cameras & cell phones are not allowed so I can’t show you, but if you ever get the chance …
All through the Diamond Fund & the Museum Alex & I often separated, either one of us ‘piggy backing’ a guided group so we could report amazing information back to each other.
Out on the street again, & I was treated to the sight of a couple of babushka’s having a spectacular cat fight. Dunno who did what to whom, but there were walking sticks flying & hell to pay!
A HUGE day, I was very pleased to get back home, eat dinner, & fall into bed again.

Sunday, 04 December 2005 We decided to give Lenin a miss today (praise be to global Sunday lie-in’s!), & went to Queen Ekaterina’s park & palace, that she visited just the once. The palace was bombed during WWII, & only now they've started repairs.
Another long underground trip; most people either sleep or read on the way. End of the line, we zoomed along to get back up to ground level, & encountered a dead bloke along the way. The police had already arrived & were going through his pockets trying to find out who he was. “It’s life, Prue” said Alex, without breaking stride.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve seen it in NZ, but usually there’s a crowd of on-lookers. In Moscow, nobody has the time or interest to stop and give a second glance!
A really cold day, my camera spent most of the time tucked into Alex’s jacket trying to keep warm so I could snatch some pics occasionally.
I unwittingly created a bun fight in the craft gallery. Trying to make right change for admittance, I put my docs onto an empty table next to the cashier so I could reach the bottom of my pouch & dig out coin. Oh, no, no, no! Never, never put anything on an empty table next to THIS cashier! She had a hissy fit, Alex told her to pull her head in, & things deteriorated from there. In the meantime, I was blissfully unaware & still rummaging for change. The 1st I knew of the problem, was when we were joined by a senior woman & a security guard. What? WHAT? Ooops!
We hailed a troika for the trip back to a café, where Sergei promptly launched himself into a pile of food bigger than him. His distress over horse poo obviously didn’t interfere with his appetite.
Next stop: a huge market, mainly specialising in electronics. A cell phone for Sergei was the reason.
And home, dinner, bed.

Monday, 05 December 2005 Work for Alex & Olya; Sergei stayed home with me because he said his school had a health day off. It seems he may have been telling porkies because at around 3pm he started watching out the windows; sure enough school bag laden kids started trudging by & he went out to play.
Once he’d returned, he escorted me to the mall to purchase supplies for dinner..little man! He was so proud & important ordering the keepers to give us ‘this, that, & the other’, & they all thought he was pretty special too!
I’ve declared myself chief cook & bottle washer while I’m staying to give Alex & Olya a break..both from daily chores, & from me. They get to spend time together in the living room while I 'quietly' crash about in the kitchen. Olya keeps feeling guilty & I keep reassuring her it’s my pleasure to cook after 10-months of ‘5-minute noodles just add water’ & sammies. And it's the only way I'm going to be able to ensure I repay them for all the 'princess treatment' they've afforded me this year. Admittedly the kitchen is rudimentary, but it’s heaven compared to a coffee table & bathroom sink.
Honey & orange chicken with mashed potatoes tonight. Very embarrassing..I wolfed mine down, beating everyone else for the 1st time since I arrived in Russia.

Tuesday, 06 December 2005 Damn, damn, damn! I’ve succumbed to ‘acclimatisation illness’..a cold.
Solo excursion to the mall for supplies today, feeling anxious after reading so much about how rude Muscovite service is. 8 fruit & veg stalls to run past, all aggressively vying for custom, I diplomatically bought an ingredient from each, & worked out which 2 will get my roubles for the rest of my stay. All were nice..apparently Kiwi's can melt even the hardened hearts of Muskovites!

Pelminy (tortellini) & a huge Kiwi/Oz style salad for dinner. I can’t believe I found white balsamic vinegar here..eat your hearts out Kiwi’s, unless it’s available in New Zealand now. If not, next time you pop into Oz or Moscow, grab a bottle. Take a bottle of regular black balsamic (drool), soften & intensify it at the same time (pass the handi-towels, a bib won’t do!), & you have white balsamic. Jumbo-yumbo!
I was pushed into bed all but rattling & sloshing after the cocktail of tablets, teas, effervescent drinks, & finally a lemsip type thing..I was assured I’d be a box of fluffies in the morning.

Wednesday, 07 December 2005 The box of fluffies missed the flight!
I think Olya told me I’m off kitchen duty tonight because she’s making borsch. I think. I know she said “borsch.”
Alex checked my emails for me this morning, & my travel agent still hasn’t answered my questions, choosing instead to ask for my confirmation of flight back to NZ. This has been going on for almost a month now, & ‘seething’ doesn’t even come close to describing me today.

I went out for some fresh air & sanity, though I didn’t make it far what with crappy weather & crappier health; The Mall.
I dunno, maybe it’s the luck of the draw, maybe expats need to take a good look at themselves, or maybe it’s a bit of both, but again I was treated with warm hospitality & care everywhere I went. The herb woman watched me sniff & inspect each bunch, made me taste everything to be sure I was getting what I wanted, & recommended some ‘grass’ to cure my sneezes. The veg man was stroppy when I made the mistake of choosing my OWN potatoes, until I apologised & said I was from NZ..”Wow! Lardna! Do what you want! Come & wreck my proportional displays anytime you like! Here, have an extra spud!” The fruit & salad lady helped me choose the best persimmons, then gave me some freebies to enhance herb-woman’s curatives. It’d be easy to pass these off by thinking “they've probably overcharged me in the first place”, but you know what? They don’t..I’ve checked my bills against Alex's & Vadim’s.
A perfect example: on the 3rd floor of the mall is a ‘Farmers’. The security bloke at the top of the escalator wouldn’t let me take my newly purchased suitcase through, so I had to deposit it under a Christmas tree & in his care. I was more than a little concerned as I wended my way through this maze of a store that I bumped into my case keeper at every other turn..& NO, my compass wasn’t broken! On the 4th meeting he tried talking to me..returning 10-minutes later with a scrap of paper on which someone had written for him “Can I help you?” Ooooooooh! xxxx He continued to track me, deflected the horror of the ‘kiddies shoes aisle’ woman when (gag) slippers caught my eye, & once I arrived at the checkout with 'slippers' (suffice to say I hate slippers, so the label is used loosely) he then took it upon himself to introduce me to the checkout chicky, explained my ‘handicap’ (English; no Russian), & therefore ensuring gorgeous smiles & patience. AND my new suitcase was still under the tree, unmolested & guarded by a newby security bloke. Honestly, I could happily wrap up every Russian that’s done this sort of thing for me & bring them home..excess baggage charges, immigration issues Prue!
I wandered into McDonalds..the 1st Golden Arches I’ve seen since the beginning of Feb when I was last in Moscow. I took a look at the menu (fab, I could read it; bizarre, not translated into Russian [I expected to see “Balshoye Mac”], just ‘Big Mac’ spelled in Russian Cyrillic. It smelled just as bad as in NZ so I wandered back out & went to buy fruit. My fruity friend held my hand today, asked my name, & gave me some free grapes.

Yep, it WAS supposed to be borsch for dinner, but in true stereotypical male form, the boys couldn’t wait, so it was fried leftover pelminy & salads. Not bad actually.
Major, major, major ructions in the household tonight, & I’ve been the catalyst. Sergei has been a bad, bad boy, the tip being exposed by my questions about his school & its hours. Sergei is a serious wagger, & further investigation revealed his class marks are ‘2’ (or ‘D’ for ‘Doh!’)
Borsch made anyway, ready for tomorrow night.
Bed.

Thursday, 08 December 2005 I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED! I HAD A BIG MAC, LARGE FRIES, & A COKE FOR LUNCH! It smelled bad; it tasted bad; it hit the bottom of my belly like there were no sides; I looked for Chicken Royale ‘to go’. Stoopid junk food junkie! Nah … yeah … maybe … ok, I like the option to say ‘No’, don’t you?!

Oh yeah! Olya’s borsch is fabbo! Gunna travel & settle with this recipe.

I tried to suggest to Alex that I should move into a hotel for the brief remainder of my stay in Moscow. He anticipated the call & assured me I’m both welcome & needed for as long as I can stay. I appreciate their perspective, but I don’t want to be their ‘Kiwi Narc’ or Sergei's foreign school attendance & good behaviour monster.

Friday, 09 December 2005 Salmon in white wine planned, & prepared (by me), & postponed (by Olya) in favour of a quick bowl of borsch, a bottle of Chinese peach wine, & a bottle of Chinese greengage wine (TGIF celebration); no probs, I’m a good time party girl. In the interest of perspective..I can ‘take or leave’ salmon (preferably ‘leave’), I LOVE wine..it’s gotta be serious when my tastebuds say “we want the salmon!”
It was a fabulous evening though. One glass of the peach wine down, Alex & Olya were glowing, a glass of the greengage wine had Olya passed out on the couch. It’s important to note at this point the alcohol level was LOW, & these 2 glasses were consumed over 3-hours! In between times, there was endless grazing on salads & fruit, & hilarious conversations about the British royal family.

Saturday, 10 December 2005 We’ve eaten so much today I want to explode. Scrambled eggs & smoked sausage for breakfast, for lunch my salmon & salad plus other salads, cuttlefish & mashed potato, plus fruit, Alex & Olya wanted torte to follow but I couldn’t manage it. Sweets & fruit in the afternoon, mashed potato, salads…can’t remember what else. Oh yeah, that's right, pickled pigs ears! Honest! It's like eating really thick servings of uncooked bacon rind; and you can hear each others teeth grinding through every mouthful.

Sunday, 11 December 2005 Looked out the window & saw a dachshund going for a walk, all dressed up in his woolly jumper. Two things immediately came to mind..the old, old joke about male dogs, short legs & snow, & ‘peter heaters’ or ‘willy warmers’. I couldn’t see from where I was, but I sure hope he was wearing one because his belly was definitely dragging in the snow!

Vadim came to collect Sergei & me to take us to the Moscow Zoo. A bit of an anti-climax because most of the animals have been sent south for the winter, not to mention the set-up is a couple of decades behind the times, with animals locked in tiny cages & rapidly going insane.
Sergei delivered back home, I was kept for the night, taken to an awesome banya complex, & introduced to Vadim’s friends who’d tried to settle in Aussie earlier in the year.

Monday, 12 December 2005 Vadim took me into town to arrange my flights. PANIC! Two choices; fly 7am tomorrow..Moscow, Zurich, New York JFK, Mexico City, arriving in Aguascalientes 11:30am Wednesday local time (Thursday Moscow time), or stay put in Moscow until after Christmas. Flights are fully booked.
I’m flying in the morning.
Back to Alex & Olya’s around 8pm. All hell broke loose. Sergei’s teacher phoned to say Sergei hasn’t been to school for a couple of weeks. Olya was in tears, Alex was white with fury & worry, Sergei was cool, calm, collected, unrepentant, & keeping a secret.
I took a cab to Domodedovo Airport at midnight (5am Surgut time). Before I left, taxi waiting, Alex asked me to sit for a few minutes..Russian tradition for a good/safe trip..we 3 sat on my bags. He made me promise I’d come back if Mexico proves too dangerous. Hugs & tears from us both before I climbed into the cab.

Too early to check in, I wandered around for a couple of hours, sat in a bar & had a couple of glasses of wine, a couple of buckets of water, & some heavy, greasy food that turned my stomach. Still too early to check in, I hit the wall & tried to grab some shut-eye, which failed because some bloke started scrabbling at the bag I was using as a pillow. I’m sure the entire airport heard my furious, on-the-brink “HEY!” He should’ve vapourised from the look I gave him, but no, his gobful of gold teeth deflected the heat, he lay down & went to sleep. STEAMING, no sleep after all for me, I roamed (writer’s licence..more like stumbled) the airport until check-in.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005 There was a problem with my hand luggage. Weight a problem, & I had too many bags. Backpack with lappy & clean undies for 4 days, cosmetic bag with makeup & shampoo, & a disturbing bag filled with mags & hats. I tried logic, pointing out my itinerary (hence the need for my cosmetic bag), & reasoning that styley hats just can’t be shoved into a suitcase. No empathy from the check-in chick, the nice supervisor girly understood & let me get away with it all.
This time no-one wanted to check my lappy, & I didn’t have to take my shoes off or wear plastic bags on my feet. I did have to stand in a ‘tardus’ though..”put your feet exactly on those painted feet”. No condoms loaded with amphetamines detected in my belly, I was allowed through.
About 30 minutes before 7:10am, & 22-odd-hours since I last lay in a bed ... “Calling all passengers for flight 1325 to Zurich …”

THE SIBERIAN ADVENTURE IS OVER