Siberian Adventure - May 2005

Sunday, May 01, 2005 Hristoss Voss cress! (kind of like “Happy Easter”, but means “Christ has risen”). I’ve got this one down pat; it’s the response if someone beats me to it..Vyeastenor Voss cress (“yeah, he has!”) that’s stumping me. It’s not that it’s difficult; my brain’s just decided I’m always going to be first cos people won’t expect me to know to greet them this way. It turns to sludge when that’s not the case. Grrrr..I think this’s a sign of an inflexible 43 year old brain! I’M NOT GETTING OLD!!!!

William phoned last night wanting to go out. After 2 nights without sleep I had to turn him down. By the way, I’ve been asked by 2 of you if I’m ‘keen’ on William. ABSOLUTELY NOT! The attraction is strictly limited to easy conversation with a ‘native’ English speaker who finds this place as strange & yet compelling as me; just in case anyone else is speculating.

It’s oddly silent today; I guess everyone’s at church, preparing to go there or doing whatever is done at home on Easter morning here.
I’m restless & ill-at-ease.

Today can’t make up its mind what to do. Super sunny, clear sky & warm; then overcast, grey & cold; snowing in either case.

It’s taken a while but I’ve worked out what my problem is..Mum died 24 years ago today & I still miss her. It happens every year & I’m ok; I’ve spent a couple of hours thinking about her, & being thankful she was MY Mum!

Alex collected me at 2pm & we went to a new shopping mall for a look around then had tea. It came in individual hollowed out gourds (very cool!) & with steel straws (very hot - OUCH!) Ice-cream as well for Alex..it’s the end of the 40 day abstinence from meat & all animal products prior to Russian Orthodox Church Easter. He’s understandably very excited. Olya joined us & we went to a Japanese restaurant.
The day’s settled into a steady -6C.
Back home at 6:30pm for a break (a sleep for me & the mog) until 9:30pm when we went to a night club until 3:30am. I had a scotch for Mum (ugh, but it had to be done!)
There was a man in old traditional Russian garb with a dog who performed barking ‘tricks’ & a magician. They cruised the tables performing to the delight of the punters.
A bunch of Caucasus boys had Alex & Olya on tenter hooks when they decided to determine superior strength by wrestling next to our table (this was NOT an organized floor show). Olya was clearly nervous (she’s a pixie & may weigh 40kg’s in a wringing wet sheepskin coat! I feel 6’ tall & chunky when next to her!!) I tried to swap seats but she wouldn’t have it.
A random drunk bloke approached me & despite saying I don’t speak Russian he was determined to have a conversation. Alex stepped in & told him I’m from NZ..blah, blah. Alex is a calm character, a real softie & always has big pupils..I was watching him while he was talking to R(andom) B(loke) & his pupils went to pin-pricks so I discretely edged from between the 2. Apparently RB wanted to buy me ‘something special’ but Alex turned him down. RB became heated; a bouncer stepped in & took him out. Undeterred, RB returned to join us at our table. It took 2 more ‘leave us’ conversations before he finally did. I think Alex censored & sugar-coated his translations. I’m pretty sure I can look after myself in situations like this, but it’s nice not to be tested! Also, the locals kind of go gooey when I blunder through some phrase from my book & learn I’m from NZ. Call me naïve, but I reckon they’d help me out too!
Next a couple of women arrived; one was hammered, missed her targeted chair & almost face-planted. Alex & Olya were mortified that I should witness 2 examples of inebriation in one night. “Don’t worry! I’ve seen more & worse in NZ! I’ve been a ‘bar-dolly’!”..and you & I know I’ve done my share of ill-conceived over-indulgence!

Today’s Planeta security person is the guy who’s usually only called in as bouncer for functions. Poor blighter’s done a 24-hour shift!!! I guess he’s not an ‘Orthodox’ man.

Monday, May 02, 2005 Up at 11:30am to get ready to go to Nelly’s for the day. It’s an awesome day today, sunny & warm. Nelly arrived to find me in a singlet – SHOCK, HORROR “What does this mean? Put some clo-thizz (Russian pronunciation [except for MY students] of ‘clothes’) on Prudence!” I assured her I had extra clothes in my back pack for when it gets colder later on. I got my jacket on & Nelly told me we had to stop at the kitchen on the way out because (sly look from Nelly at this point) Tatiana Petrovna wants me to have some soup as I didn’t get home until this morning! Bouncer nark! Tatiana Petrovna nark! Nelly wanted to know “did you become acquainted with a man, Prudence?” “As if, Nelly!” Downstairs; I tell my ladies “Hristoss Voss cress” & cop ‘left, right, left’ cheek-kisses from each. “No thanks, I don’t need soup!” Another round of “where are your clothes?”, but this time I was really busted..THEY noticed I had my NZ shoes on without socks or tights. So the quick stop turned into a 30-minute berating with concerned head-shakes & frowns from 5 women.

Victor’s gone to Khanty-Mansisk for the week so the day was more sedate & less fuelled by vodka shots. Whew!! Still, Nelly’s the wife of Victor & we nailed one bottle of vodka anyway! Plus, a bottle of red wine with Nelly’s neighbour, Nadia.

Home by 10:30pm & I found I’d missed a call. I returned it expecting it to be Nelly checking I’d arrived safely, but it was from Alex the Telecom man. He wanted to know if I was free to catch up then; of course not, I’m about to go to bed! He told me he would see me Tuesday night then. Hello? I have lessons Monday – Friday in the evenings..for the third time! Lunchtime on Tuesday then.

Tuesday, May 03, 2005 There’s a posh ‘lunch’ on at 4pm to celebrate Mayster’s Socrates award from Oxford University; Planeta staff attendance mandatory, some Surgut hierarchy will be there too. Time to break out my skirt & top again.
Nelly’s coached me & I have a 2-second speech to Mayster, in Russian, if I’m called upon (heart palpitations!!!!!!)

Alex the Telecom man arrived with a gift for me..a book of short stories by a Russian author, Alexander Grin. Cool! I opened it up & found 3 ‘postcards’ in there. I gave them back to Alex, but no, they’re for me..they’re photos of him. Oh no! He asked me to go out with him tonight (erk!) “I work nights Alex”. “I’ll telephone you tonight then.” (sigh) “No Alex, I’ll be working!” Nelly arrived & saved the day. I had her tell him in Russian that I work nights. That should do it! Nelly growled at me for being cruel & breaking his heart then burst out laughing cos she reckons he’d had a haircut especially for this visit. Now who’s being cruel?

I had the funniest e-mail today. Clur, I hope you don’t mind me telling; it’s too precious not to!
Clur phoned me a few weeks ago. We talked for ages (I think that was the last time I said ‘f**k’ since arriving in Russia). In her e-mail today she tells me her Dad mentioned the other night he’d received the phone bill & there was a call to RUSSIA for $xxx! Clur asked if he’d like cash or for her to make an internet payment to his account. ‘Dad’ said “No! I phoned Telecom & gave them a rocket. They apologised, said it was either an error or a prank call & they’d reverse the charges.” Clur’s response was “but Dad, remember, I told you I called Russia & I’d pay when the bill comes in?” “Oh” replied ‘Dad’.
This is beautiful! Clur’s Dad ROCKS! I hope he doesn’t come clean. I’m not one for skipping out on a debt, but Telecom has fleeced me in the last 12-months through their appalling service & incompetence so I’m viewing this as a re-payment instalment!

The posh 4pm lunch even had cameras from the local newspaper & TV station, & an MC who plays the piano accordion as well! Hoorah!! There’re bottles of vodka & liqueur set at the same intervals on the table as you see wine at NZ do’s; every bottle was opened & the contents of most were consumed by 9:00pm!
I told Nelly I wouldn’t make my speech in view of the press being present. She was furious with me!
Vasily told me I can have my hair done free of charge by the hairdressers. ”See Prue, all women had their hair done for this event, except you!” Humpf, the Kiwi ‘natural look’ is clearly not for formal occasions! If I’d been told all this before I would have..maybe! Vasily hasn’t shaved for a week & is wearing his father-in-laws suit jacket (papa is clearly a BIG man!) Mayster didn’t even bother to do up his ‘top button’ or tighten his tie for the presentation ceremony at Oxford!! Don’t talk to ME about personal presentation & appropriateness! Besides, I like my ‘style’. Rebellious cow!
Even more reason not to make a speech & spectacle of myself!!!
4:45pm & I had to leave because someone’s phoned about lessons & has arrived to meet me. He & Vasily did all the talking & he wasn’t convinced he could learn from me because I don’t speak Russian & his English is too bad. He agreed to come to tonight’s lesson for a trial before committing to leave the Lingua Centre (our competition).
Success! Lenard enjoyed the lesson, liked my style & will be back on Thursday. He thinks he may want lessons through the summer break as well.
Vasily thinks I’m not so bad after-all tonight! Apparently one of the new security guards, Yuri, wants lessons too.
And there was no chance of being put on the spot to make my speech! A great night!!

Lyuba has told Alex to tell me she’ll make an appointment with a hairdresser if I’d like. Hahahaha, if I hadn’t been told by so many people recently I’ve got nice hair I’d have a complex today!

9:00pm & another potential student has arrived for a trial (courtesy of private student, Alex). He wanted to pay me up front but I told him the first lesson is free. Like Alex, Vadim only wants conversation training. At the end of the lesson he wanted to pay because he’s decided he’s definitely coming back! Awesome..another student poached from the "Lingva Centre"!

During the 6pm lesson Ramaan, the sparky, arrived wanting my lappy again. This time he had a friend in tow. I gave it to them & carried on teaching (yes, I hear you all gasping at my foolishness, but I trust Ramaan!) It wasn’t until all lessons were over & I was locked up in my room I discovered that, in addition to the translation programme Ramaan has been trying to install, they’ve given me the latest anti-virus software! Ooooooh, what have I done to deserve this? Ramaan has also made his e-mail address an icon on my desktop. I’ll send him a message tomorrow thanking him very much for his generosity!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005 It looks like summer’s over; we have a snow storm & the met service has issued a “storm warning emergency” with expected winds of up to 20 m/sec (metres per second). This doesn’t mean much to me but from the look on people’s faces & Misha’s scurrying around bolting ALL windows I’m anticipating a rough night.

There was a surprise waiting for me in my e-mails today..a message from T/com Alex saying he wants to take me to see the ice flow on the Ob. I’ve replied saying I’m happy to meet him as a friend but that I have very little free time during normal human hours.

Vasily told me today he’s been working on having my visa extended for a further 12 months!
Are you as shocked & confused as me by this latest development in the plot of the ‘Siberian Saga’?
And here’s his enticement for me; my working hours will double AND I get to work Monday to Saturday AND I’ll have to drop my private students AND there’s no increase in my remuneration package!!!! All this is to start in the next couple of weeks. Oh, and he’s told people I’m available June, July & August, so I lose all holiday leave! Hold me back people, no I REALLY mean that! I tried to talk to him but as usual he talked over me. I was shaking by this stage & stood up to leave the room & he asked me to stay. I told him I needed to leave for a while to calm down. When I returned he was in the process of sending me a text begging me to return. He tried to placate me by back pedalling. Gloves off, I hit him with all the things I didn’t say at our last Barney, + + +! When I told him I was sick of his ‘cheap shots’ he told me they were jokes. “Where I come from Vasily, jokes are accompanied by smiles!”
Nelly poked her head in looking for me, took one look & ducked back out again.
The upshot is I’ve told him I need to be kept FULLY informed in future & I’ll work on alternatives to the proposed timetable & report back to him..when next he graces Planeta with his presence. Gut! This blue should be enough to curb his plans for keeping me. Freak!

There’s a silver lining to every cloud though. I didn’t swear at him once! 3 months in Siberia has cleansed my ‘potty-mouth’. Trust me, Russians know & use our English curses..even Nelly! I find these days I’m only using “bloody, bugger” & VERY occasionally “sh*t”, all under my breath & when I’m alone. Even some of the “Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels” talk-tracks have me blushing & scrambling for the ‘skip’ button if I’m not in my room. How’s that for personal development? Naff too, I know. I bet Mum’s positively beaming with relief & renewed pride! Clur, don’t you DARE decide to make the ‘re-corruption’ of me a personal challenge!

Nelly found me after the skirmish was over & I had a little cry..he’s sooooooo frustrating!

My Nastya’s returned after a month away from lessons. It was great to see her little face again; but she hasn’t spoken English for a month & was completely lost tonight. Hopefully it’ll come back to her in a rush.

Lyuba’s made me a hair appointment on Saturday “free of course!”

I told Alex tonight my fee for the next month will be discounted because he’s brought me Vadim. In the face of his refusals I explained it’s the way we (Kiwi’s) do business (discount for referrals). “No Prue, you need the money!” “And Vadim thought last night was GREAT! He’s very happy.”

What am I going to do with these people? I wish they’d stop being quite so generous. I’ll be bankrupted buying thank you & farewell gifts when I leave!
And if you’re wondering, there’s no doubt in my mind I’ll be elsewhere in 2006! Possibly a Siberian prison serving time for murdering Vasily, or canonized & revered in Russia & sitting in parliament, with a monument erected in Surgut..for murdering Vasily!

That’s it for this week. I’m off to make myself banana & salami on rye cracker for dinner.

Slightly more love coming your way this week..I've put on some weight so there's more of me to send love out.
Voluptuous hugs & kisses,

Week 13 in Surgut ... the end of the first trimester!

Friday, 6 May 2005 During the lesson with Alex last night I was reminded I MUST get vaccinated for encephalitis..it’s completely slipped my mind since arriving.
Now I’ve found an ‘odd’ spot on my arm & suffered momentary paranoia..”What’s this? Where’s it come from? How’d I get it? Has it come from the floors? My toothbrush perhaps? The cat? Are there ticks as well as rats in my room? Should I be worried? Is this potentially fatal? Bloody hell, where can I find a doctor? I didn’t read my insurance policy properly before leaving NZ! Aaaarrrggghhh!!!”

2 new students started tonight..that makes 4 newbies this week for Planeta & one newbie for me! Da-de-daaaaa!

Vasily wants me to come to his home for dinner this weekend..I’m fully booked; HONEST, IT’S TRUE!
Irene tells me I’m no longer experiencing “typical Russian hospitality to strangers”..I’m now in demand because I’m ‘easy to be with’ & word has spread. I’m floored, flattered & grateful!

Saturday, 7 May 2005 ‘Thumbs Up’ from Stass this afternoon for my orange Kiwi cap! “Very cool, Prue!”

I’ve visited my tfirst Russian hairdresser today. Lyuba had to work so Alex took me..poor long suffering man! I thought I’d be there 30 minutes max (Alex too!)..a quick colour tossed through & out the door, but no. Sveta decided I should have Russian highlights..ok, maybe an hour then. FOUR HOURS later..my hair’s foiled with peroxide & orange. Next; chocolate topping. A final coating of ‘nuclear’ red (I’m in Russia after all!) & we’re nearly done. Cut & blow dry to finish. During the ‘blowie’ Alex chipped in that I have too much hair! There’s a disconcerting amount of pink, the ends flick up & the rest ‘boof-curls’ under. Ooh-err, now I look like an aging ‘Siberian Princess’!
I thoroughly recommend Sveta for a gentle touch & as a colour technician (don’t give her carte blanch though if you’re a Kiwi!)
All up, I guess I’ve had NZ$200 worth of attention & I’m not allowed to pay! I’m supposed to come back in a fortnight..Sveta’s a great hairdresser, I’d like to come back to her, I don’t want to offend, but I can’t handle the free service; it embarrasses me. Call me stupid, but I feel obligated to repay..& I’ll probably end up spending more. I’ll NEVER be a wealthy woman again, but at this rate I won’t even get back on my feet! No matter how hard I try to explain, they won’t listen! And of course I’m living in fear of any of them turning up on my doorstep wherever I settle because I’ll need to return the favour.

The consensus today is I needn’t have an encephalitis shot because I’m too skinny..”ticks like something to chew on..only go to the forest with Sveta & Lyuba, there’ll be nothing to worry about! Snakes on the other hand… ”

Beer & dinner at a different German restaurant & Lyuba & Alex are RAVING about my new look..Alex wishes he’d taken before & after shots of me. I can’t wait to dilute it with 20 hair washes! (I haven’t been able to take a photo that gives you the full effect, but I reckon I’m the latest technology in beacons for Russian airlines!)

Alex & Lyuba think if I can’t remain in Russia for 2006 (though they hope I do) I should go to:-
Czech Republic: it’s sooooooo beautiful, & they need English teachers!
Ukraine: it’s sooooooo beautiful, & they need English teachers!
Austria: it’s sooooooo beautiful, & they need English teachers!
Greece: it’s sooooooo beautiful, & they need English teachers!
Germany: it’s beautiful but they don’t need English teachers!
Portugal: “they have not money though!”
Stay away from Poland, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania & Yugoslavia: Poland is anti-Russia; Latvia & Lithuania have a strong fascist community with unofficial Government sanctioning; Yugoslavia is too dangerous!
Go to Holland..well actually, Amsterdam: “you may like to smoke something!” “hahahahahahaha!”
“My son would DEFINITELY visit me if I went to Amsterdam!”
“Hahahaha, yeah, every week!”
“But he’d also be horrified..’my mother has a tattoo AND she’s a seed-head..waaah!’ His friends would think I’m cool!”
“Of course!”

Alex & Lyuba want me to join them tomorrow for a BBQ but I’ve accepted an invitation to lunch with Max & Natasha. I’m under strict instructions to call when I’ve finished so Alex & Lyuba can collect me to come & ‘play’ with them!

Alex has a new private student for me & I have no idea when I’ll fit him in! It’s looking like I’ll now be working 7-days a week with no holiday. I’ll be shattered by the end of the year!

12:51 a.m. Tonight’s wedding at Planeta has just shut down & a load of blokes are shanking it away from here singing at the top of their lungs; it’s a first & reminds me of home..in a cheerful way!

I just took a ‘loo stop’; it occurred to me that my messages may read like ‘skite-sheets’..’everyone loves Prue!’ Honestly, they’re not meant to! I hope my tales are giving you a first hand & honest view of this country & it's people, & encourage you &/or yours to come here!

Sunday, 8 May 2005 Happy Mother’s Day! For the rest of you..take a leaf from the Russian calendar & celebrate Women’s Day!

My heart sank today when Nelly called to say I must pack an overnight bag to take to Max & Natasha’s because Max’ll deliver me to Nelly when lunch is over. The roads will be closed tonight & all day tomorrow because of the Victory Day celebrations. I need space & to do some washing & there’s not a snowballs chance in Port Douglas that I’ll get space until late Monday night; I’ll be dodging students with my bursting laundry bag on Tuesday morning!
Max collected me at 2pm to go home for lunch. The original deal was that Natasha’s sister would be there..she teaches English; instead her mother was there; she doesn’t speak English. It was a real comedy act. Max & Natasha took turns talking to me so they could each eat & practice; I on the other hand took 3-hours to eat a piece of salmon & choke back a shot of Russian cognac..one sip at a time with plenty of grape juice chasers. At one-stage they had a photo album each, 2 on my lap & were competing for who could show me the most & best pictures in the 4 albums! Nelly phoned at 5pm demanding to know where I was & why I wasn’t with her yet. Undeterred, Max & Natasha moved me from the table to the living room where there were 6 more albums to look at simultaneously as well as 15 CD’s strewn across the floor to be played piece-meal one-track at a time.
Finally at 6:30 it was time to go to Nelly. The evening consisted of food prep for tomorrow, an English lesson for one of her private students..with me (SURPRISE, Prue!), visits from Natalya, Helena & Nadia, an evening walk, then more food prep. Thankfully, no booze; Victor was gutted when I turned him down. Bed; sometime around midnight.

Nelly’s new salad: shredded cooked chicken tossed into a pan & fried in a couple of cm’s of oil; add sliced tinned ‘shrooms & chopped onion & fry ‘til the onion is soft. Add ½ a pot of sour cream & stir. Squeeze in ¼ bottle of mayonnaise, stir through & cool.

The rest of the menu was: layers of thinly sliced potatoes, chopped onions & the rest of the bottle of mayo topped with grated cheese & baked in the oven with another couple of cm of oil. Salo; thick slices of fried then chilled pork fat, minus any meat (No joke, folks! It's a Siberian delicacy; my Kiwi brain tells me it's 'death'!) Salami & fatty ham, coated with sour cream & mayo. Bread to mop up the excess mayo & oil.

Monday, 9 May 2005 There must’ve been magic mushrooms in one of the dishes I ate yesterday because my dreams were continuous, WEIRD & VIVID, & had me chattering away like a mad-woman all night which kept waking me up! Nelly’s Doberman climbed into bed with me at 4am & that was the end of sleep..I’m really scared of dobeys; Betty ‘talks’ & growls a lot & her ears are pinned so she looks mean. She seems to have taken to me but I can’t read her eyes so I’m still very nervous.
Showered & it’s time for breakfast..Salami, fatty ham, salted grated carrot & ‘shrooms & STRAIGHT VODKA! It’s only 8:30am. By 9am I had the spins!
Off to the ‘square’ to watch the parade..a total non-event really. Just group after group of people marching..different uniforms to be sure but still uniforms. Everyone within a square km of us were quickly aware of my presence due to Nelly barking out my name at the top of her lungs every 5-minutes & speaking English very loudly, then explaining to all & sundry who I am. She’s very proud of being bi-lingual & in charge of a foreigner. Taking photos became a challenge..I’d just get focussed & a stranger would be waggling on my arm to get me to take a photo of something else. It’s doubtful there’ll be a single shot worth keeping! Some woman emerged from the crowd to chatter at me & tell me to go with her. I didn’t cos I couldn’t understand her, Nelly missed it all & I was afraid of getting lost. Back home for lunch..”Let’s drink a little” & more vodka was poured. Back to the square to watch The Surgut Express Band perform, amongst many, many others. This was pretty cool.. with people in the crowd randomly dancing. Max was really cute, smiling & waving to me at every opportunity, & pointing me out to his fellow clarinettist.
I wore a polyprop, high-necked woolly jersey & my -40C jacket & was roasting. Panic stations from everyone when I tried to take my jacket off. In the end I was allowed to take the jersey off, but they were uptight when I refused to rezip the jacket.
The local police were out in force; I was fascinated by 3 of them..all very different but so stereotypically Russian in look; hard, hard faces. One bloke was taken away for getting on stage & dancing.
The cops turned to ‘shmoosh’ when a lost toddler was brought to them..not so soft though when ‘Mama’ arrived 45 minutes later..”BAD Mama!!!” No matter that she’s been howling as much as her bubby all this time by the looks of her! The toddler was beside himself & all the cops would do was try to cuddle him. This went on for ages & I couldn’t stand it. I asked Nelly to suggest they go to the camera-men & get the kiddie on the massive TV screens in the square so his mother could find him.
Back to Nelly’s by 5pm & she wants to eat more. I can’t! I’ve a lead weight in my belly! Is it any wonder I’ve beefed up a bit? Oh for a bowl of steamed veg!
Victor & a neighbour, Nick ‘Smith’ arrived. Nick’s Russian, been to England once & speaks English like I speak Russian. Food, vodka, questions about NZ, lots of hand-kissing & Nick thinks it’d be a great idea for me to move in with him while his wife’s away for 2-weeks. Lots of laughs & a refusal from me, but when it came time for him to leave he actually tried to man-handle me out the door! Victor thought it was funny, Nelly & I didn’t. Time for me to catch a cab!
No wonder I was overheating today..it’s after 7pm & still +15C!
Alex phoned during the day & asked me to join them for a BBQ this afternoon & to watch the “Salute” (fireworks) at 10pm. I’d love to go but I’ve no energy left for close attention to Russian language, can’t face any more people this weekend & will break if I have another late night. I’ve turned my phone off, have the lights out, earphones plugged in & am playing ‘possum’ in my room. I’ve even evicted the mog; that’s how serious I am!

I feel like I’ve been here forever; I feel like it’s forever before I leave; time’s flying; am I really already a third of the way through my time in Siberia!!!? I’m sick of being ‘public property’; people are ‘killing me with kindness’! I love it here; I hate it here; I want to come ‘home’; I want to keep doing this, I don’t want to come home yet!!!!
I ride this roller-coaster every week. The blue-ski’s usually strike towards the end of the week when I’m ready for R&R. No R&R this weekend, so this next week’s going to be tough. Saturday I was amped & aching to spend more time in Europe; today all I can think about is the possibility of teaching in NZ or Oz. A couple of good sleeps & some gretchka will sort me out!

Tuesday, 10 May 2005 2 more new students tonight. Svetlana, who learned English at school & needs refreshing. Anatoli who doesn’t speak or understand a single word! Yee gads! What’s Vasily trying to do?
With the help of the other students, Anatoli & I’ve agreed I’ll teach him on a 1:1 basis for 2 hours, 7 days a week for the next 2 weeks. I turned him down when he asked for weekend lessons until he said it’s only until 25 May.
Vasily phoned when the lesson was over to tell me I’ll be teaching Anatoli for 80 minutes a day, Monday to Friday only. I’m thoroughly confused by this so I’ll get Nelly to help me confirm what Anatoli wants tomorrow.

No Alex or Vadim tonight..I think they may be on the ‘yik’ still celebrating Victory Day.

I’ve reviewed my photo/video from yesterday. The result is ‘too freaking close to the speakers, too much distortion’. Very disappointing but a lesson well learned for next time.

I’ve just been to the loo & have found a small ‘lake’. No, not just in the bathroom, but in the waiting area as well! Is it really me? Or is it that nothing works properly here?! I feel like the ‘moaner from hell’.

Wednesday, 11 May 2005 More new students today.

Nelly’s been in to tell me my student Stass won’t be at lessons this week because he was stabbed on Monday night & is in Intensive Care! Vasily came in to ask if Stass has paid for the month of May..I repeated what Nelly told me & he thinks it’s Stass’s way of getting out of paying for his lessons! Yeah, I wish I’d thought of this ploy to get out of paying my bills..not!

I went to get some exercises printed off for lessons today & was told I was only able to because Mayster’s away! Apparently it’s a waste of money..we’re not allowed to buy books either; I’m expected to teach more than just speech though & yet they gripe about the amount of CHALK I use & won’t give me paper! Good grief, what’s a girl to do?

Thursday, 12 May 2005 Ummmmmmm..nope, no news today other than 3 more new students. Nothing constructive is happening in the lessons at the moment; frustrating I’m sure for those that’ve paid good money for sweet F.A.

Although I still can’t converse in Russian my understanding has increased in leaps & bounds in the last couple of weeks & I’ve found myself translating English to Russian for the new students quite a few times this week. Last nights students (originals & newbies) asked me to repeat something I’d said in Russian (just to check it wasn’t a fluke)..& were thrilled to tell me I have perfect pronunciation with no accent.
“Hahahaha, yeah, but I can only say 5 words!”
“It’s a start, Prue; you’re a Russian woman already you know!”
Bless!

Siberian Tip: If you have new shoes that have skiddy soles put fabric bandaids on the soles. IT WORKS!

Friday, 13 May 2005 Worked until 4:00 this morning, slept badly cos I ran out of time to wind down, & staggered out of bed at 10:30am. I’ve a truck-load of work to do before lessons start at 2pm & decided to hide in my room to avoid Nelly so I can get it done. No such luck..she rocked up with a student in tow, asked why I wasn’t in my office, told me to join her for lunch & chat. I said I couldn’t today so she left..for 10 minutes, then was back to hound me for another 30 minutes. My blood pressure’s up!

I finally had my first lesson with Anatoliy, the mono-lingual Ruski today. All I can say is “Thank goodness for Ramaan & his translation programme!” The lesson went well..at this point it’s nice to be the first English teacher to get hands onto a ‘freshy’..no bad pronunciation to correct. In his first lesson he can already say “clothes” & “mouthes” better than those that’ve been with me since February! He does want lessons every day until 25 May. After that he goes home for a break then returns. He’ll be a regular student until the end of the year.

Another new student tonight..she’s at the same level as Anatoliy so will be another 1:1 student in the afternoons until mid-July.

My Planeta roll count as at tonight is 25..more than a 200% increase in just 3 weeks. I have more students & conduct more lessons per week day than Vasily & Nelly, I work weekends, AND I’ll be working over the 3-month holiday break that they have. I think I’m a better revenue generator for Planeta now than them, so my position is marginally safer. I’m now working more than the agreed 20 hours ‘student time’ per week & this’ll increase to almost 30 hours in September through to December..I’m back to a 60+ hour week.

And now I have a text from Vasily telling me he has another ‘Intensive New Start’ student who needs lessons at 1:00pm every day until September, courtesy of Max & Natasha, so push my Planeta working hours up to 80 per week! I WANNA PAY RISE!

Max & Natasha spent most of their lesson tonight telling me Planeta’s giving me a raw deal & my accommodation sucks! They’re right..I knew the financial aspect was poor before I came but was willing to accept it, & as bad as the accommodation & lack of privacy is, at least I don’t have to negotiate the streets of Surgut after mid-night every night & I’m guarded & protected! They’re trades I’m willing to make & ‘The Mog’ makes it even easier.

Everyone REEKS of fish today..it must be ‘on special’ at the markets! Or is it just that the weather’s so gorgeous pores are opening up after 9-months of being shut tight?

It’s gotta be over +20C today, the sun is blazing & the birds are singing. Most people are smiling..inside their leather jackets & under their leather ‘summer’ hats; it’s a toss-up whether they’re smiling cos it’s warm & sunny or cos there’s a freak Kiwi chick, whose grin’s got bigger, playing in the sun wearing a pair of black pants & a fluoro green top..no hat or jacket in sight!; kind of like the way we look at gambolling lambs, wee kittens & puppies. Wait ‘til I get a moment out of work to source shorts & jandles to go with my singlets! There’ll be gob-smacked, faint people left, right & centre! I could’ve done with my little ‘boardies’ today!

Saturday, 14 May 2005 2:23 a.m. OK, this weekend’s edition of ‘Siberian Soap’ is 3 days late, I’ve finally wound down from work & am knackered. Hopefully I have e-mail access this weekend & can send this when I emerge from under my rock in about 5 hours. The server’s been up & down all week & I’ve been really busy so I’m WAY behind with e-mail’s to some of you, sorry!

Week 14 in Surgut

I feel like a hooker..I walk out students to say ‘ta-ta’ then do an immediate 360° spin with the next in tow! No time for luxuries such as having a meal, reapplying lipstick or taking a pee! It’s ‘Show-Time’ from 2pm ‘til at least 10pm every day..before 2pm I’m fair game.
When I finish work I’m “the Ghost of Planeta”, ranging the rooms & stairwells of the 1st & 2nd floors, delaying the sleep of the hapless Security folk!
Every other Saturday night I’m the ‘pain-in-the-jaxxy’ that hits the access button demanding to be let in & disrupting the sleep of the ill-fated soul rostered on for the night!

Saturday, May 14, 2005 cont. Another gorgeous, hot day today. I went for a 30-minute walk before my lesson with Anatoliy. He brought his wife with him today, Tatiana. What a lovely lady! She claimed not to speak English, but she certainly understands it. She interpreted a few times for me, & she’s a hard task-master. While I was going to great lengths to encourage Anatoliy with every good attempt & congratulate his successes, she was furiously chastising him for not being perfect! Poor man didn’t know who to try harder for! We had a few laughs & at the end I got “we love you, we want you to come fishing with us in our home town”, or words to that effect. Fishing? How about sunbathing on the beach?

I had 4.5 hours before the next lesson so decided to go in search of some cooler tops.

Fish is definitely on ‘special’. Street vendors selling fish have gone from displaying uncovered (possibly safe) frozen fish, due to the climate, to keeping their wares ‘fresh’ by covering them with a dry towel to protect them from the heat & sun.. pfeew, it doesn’t work! If you don’t buy at the start of the day you’ll be taking home a ‘sun-cooked’ fish..Salmonella city!
Aside from the fish aromas, I had a great time. With good weather I was brave enough to take time to explore new buildings & found a fantastic supermarket; almost a one-stop-shop.
I ventured into a “green-cross” place & found it’s the Russian version of a chemist shop/OPSM. Everything’s displayed in closed cabinets so I’ll have to visit with my phrasebook, but at least I know where to get Sudafed now.
The best find for the day though was like a ‘cosmetic/personal hygiene/Rodney Wayne’s/cleaning product oasis. I now have mousse (have been without since the end of Feb) & another greasy-goop’ product to assist my ‘new look’ hair. I also have my favourite deodorant again. AND they have Persil! I’ll be able to wash my clothes secure in the knowledge that I’m not using baby lotion! Life just keeps getting better!

Back on track, I went to my usual shop for cool (I don’t mean ‘trendy’) tops for work. I was greeted with hugs, kisses & $$eyes.
I bought 2 T-shirts, 3 tops for work & an ‘impulse buy’ skirt for summer ‘special occasions’ that I’ll wear with boots come winter.

Tonight’s lesson is all about grammar & lexis. I HATE IT! Have any of you heard of ‘simple present’, ‘present progressive’, ‘present perfect’, ‘simple past’; were you taught these at school? I wasn’t!

Something’s up with my internet access. All of a sudden I’m blocked in the evenings & weekends. During normal working hours I barely get a moments peace; consequently I’m behind with e-mail. Hopefully I’ll get it sorted this week.

For The Computer Geeks: Is it possible to copy Outlook journal & calendar to a Flash Card? I haven’t been able to but need to.

Sunday, May 15, 2005 10:43 PM Summer’s going to be a nightmare here! I’ve just been delivered home from an all-day BBQ & judged the time to be about 6:30pm because the sun’s just setting! I can’t believe I should be thinking about bed..sunrise will be in about 5 hours & it’s still only spring!

Max, Natasha & Kerell took me for a drive around Surgut today. We visited the usual places people take me to (they’re so gorgeous I haven’t become bored by them) & also new (to me) parts of town..HOORAY! Some I’ll revisit on foot, some I now know I mustn’t venture to alone. They bought me a Russian porcelain icon from the Orthodox Church. The religious aspect is not really my thing, it would be nice to bring home as a souvenir, but I’m fairly certain I won’t be allowed to.

The BBQ was great! I met Andre (professional basketball player) & Norliss (lawyer). Andre was an unexpected pot of gold. He speaks quite good English, though claims he doesn’t (this is becoming familiar). At one point he burst out “Prue, learn Russian, I speak good Russian & you’re an interesting woman!” It IS a pain..people want to practice their English so are not too interested in helping me learn Russian, but when things get tough they (& I) want me to speak their language! Anyway it’s difficult to find someone willing to teach Russian at midnight every night.

Andre plays for the same team as William. Apparently William’s an ‘angry man’, very temperamental, has a foul mouth, & may not be invited to return to Surgut after his summer break. I’m not overly surprised by this news; in the few phone conversations I’ve had with William I get the impression he’s moody. In his defense, William’s the 1st black man to come to Surgut..I’m foreign & a bit of a freak-show, sometimes the stares & rubbernecking are disconcerting, but at least I’m white. It must be harder for William!

I met my 1st Siberian mozzies today. Holy tamoly..they’re HUGE! Not as hungry as I expected, or maybe they’re not into ‘foreign cuisine’. Only 2 sampled me (that I know of)..I’ll let you know tomorrow if I itch. The ants were oversized too; red & green..but more interested in whatever was in the sand than on the table. Good ants!

Monday, May 16, 2005 Today started with Vasily pounding on the bathroom door, yet again, while I was in the shower. I ignored him, but was sorely tempted to step out of the shower, open the door & give him the shock of his life! If I wasn’t so shy about my body I would!!

He returned 3 times while I was getting ready & I made him talk through the closed door. He finally caught me with the door open on his 4th visit. I was about to clean my teeth..but no, he had to talk to me. Nelly arrived while Vasily was still in my room & settled herself too. It’s too much! I need privacy while I’m getting ready for the day, just like any other normal person.

Lesson #3 with Anatoliy & while we were practicing greetings & intro’s he substituted Tatiana’s name with mine, “This is my wife, Prue”. I thought it was an accident the 1st time so ignored it, but the 2nd time I corrected him. He shrugged & said “Tatiana’s gone home, Prue is my wife now.” Oh p-lease; concentrate on your lesson!

A phone call from Vasily to ask how many students & how many teaching hours I have. He tells me now I have too many students & am working too many hours so some will have to be cut! I thought Planeta needed the extra money.

I was absolutely parched today, Nelly too. We went to the kitchen to ask for water. I’m furious with myself for letting my guard down & drinking tap water; I’ve felt really ill all evening & my tummy’s bloated. I hope it doesn’t develop into anything nastier overnight.
I fell asleep at my desk & was woken by the arrival of a student..how embarrassing! The combination of not taking any time for myself lately & feeling ‘blook’.

Only 1 itchy bite from yesterday’s mozzies & it’s not even very itchy. Alexander has warned me though that mozzies become more aggressive in summer & people have been known to die from too many bites..Cripes!

My seedy tummy & I are going to bed now. Catch you tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005 Why do I have to be the expert on ‘Murphy’ & his lousy laws? As soon as I reached ‘twitch’ mode, just prior to ‘sweet oblivion’ last night, a cursed mozzie entered my room. I spent an overheated night wrapped up like a mummie in sheets & blankets, with just my nose poking out for air, trying to keep him off me. I must have fallen asleep for a neno-second..just long enough for him to gorge himself on my middle finger. “B#%*#rd” has re-entered my vocab today!

A finger the size of Jonah Lomu got me out of bed early & seeking mozzie deterrents this morning; bottled mineral water supplies too.
On my way back to Planeta a guy stopped me & I think was asking for directions. I said I don’t speak Russian in my best terrible Russian. He asked if I speak English..& 30 minutes later I was on my way home again. His name’s Igor & he’s a pilot. He’s given me his phone number to call when I’ve got some time to catch up.

Anatoliy got the message thankfully & was back to practicing “… this is my wife, Tatiana” today. “Good boy!”

Lessons are back to being more productive..the influx of new students has stopped..HOORAH! My position will always be tenuous because students come & go; it’s definitely now ‘a given’ that I’ll work through summer without a break.

The ‘Authorities’ have focused on me in the last week & I’ve had to provide copies of my documentation. It’s a good thing I think. The police now know who I am if I need help. I hope everything’s safe work-wise with the local administration.

Alex was very excited to tell me he saw William on TV over the weekend. I told him what Andre said about William, so we talked about being a foreigner. I said I ‘feel’ for William because of the amount of ‘double-takes’ I get; it must be harder for William. Alex almost fell off his chair telling me people stare at me because I’m foreign, but more because I have bright eyes, smile “too much”, look like I have no problems “& this is beautiful”! “I feel good every time I see you!”
Aw shucks! Need an ego boost? Come to Russia!

Power-loves from ‘The Mog’ tonight. I promised him 5-minutes on my lap, gave him 15 then plonked him on a chair while I did housework. Personality change..he’s now ‘Manic-Mog’! Housework’s fun! Legs to leap at, cords to attack, legs to leap at, freshly folded washing to kill, legs to leap at, curtains to dive through, legs to leap at!
Time for computer work..Yehaaa! A keyboard to walk over..& over, & over!
“ENOUGH! Go & ‘monster’ the little girl next door!”

Wednesday, May 18, 2005 3:18 AM It’s bucketing down & I’m experiencing my 1st Siberian electrical storm..SPECTACULAR!
Honestly, I thought it was fireworks to start with! Unfortunately car alarms are going off left, right & centre so sleep will be spasmodic..again! “Bog off Murphy!”

Dmitri, son of Mayster, came to talk about my internet problems; he can’t understand what the problem is..the server’s ok & I should have full access now. I’ll see how things go this weekend & if I’m still blocked they’ll look at it next week.
Stand by..there could be a heap of replies coming your way!

That’s it for this week. Almost no need to wish me luck for keeping warm anymore..the temps are soaring (though the forecast predicts an overnight low of 1C on Friday).

I tried sending this message a mere 6 times last week, to no avail. I don't know what's going on but none of my messages made it to any of you last week apparently.

Thursday, 19 May 2005 Asthma has given me a bit of trouble today..not too bad, just annoying. It must be the spring pollen flying around, not usually a problem for me, but then I’ve only ever known NZ pollen.

I’ve lost Yulia, one of my original students, today. It turns out she has a legitimate Moldovan school-leaving certificate; it’s insufficient in Russia for commencing tertiary education, so she BOUGHT a Russian certificate. Obviously highly illegal & she’s been ‘busted’! She’s likely to be fined over NZ$5,000 & can no longer study English or finish her law degree! She’s hopeful she’ll return to lessons with me in September, but I doubt it!

Erk! I’m reminded of day-time soaps..”Like sand through the hour glass..so are the days of…” my Siberian Experience!

The 1 thing good to come out of this is I’ve discovered that while Yulia has a pretty good grasp of written & oral English face-to-face, she’s totally incompetent on the phone. So all lessons from now on will include ‘blind’ communication practice, starting from now! Tonight’s students thought I’d gone nutty & were very uncomfortable to begin with!

Asthma continued to vaguely trouble me throughout the evening & once I’d finished my last lesson at 10:30pm I went straight to bed (uncharacteristic & I could have guessed something was up..I’ve had little ‘short-fuse’ devil’s horns trying to poke through my hair today).

Friday, 20 May 2005 I’m sick, sick, sick!

I woke at 6ish with a pounding headache, raging sore throat, painful ‘pus-y’ lungs & no voice. NEVER have I been so sick so quickly with no real warning!
I called Vasily at 9:30am to let him know & to cancel today’s lessons.
A barrage of text messages followed:
1st “Are you ok?”
(Duh! It’s only been 5-minutes since I croaked to you!) “I just need sleep & to not talk so my voice at least gets better!”
2nd “Meet me at the shops in 10 minutes, I’m taking you to hospital”
“No, I have medication & don’t need to go!” (I can’t even make it to the bathroom, & besides I’m afraid I’ll be admitted & fed rat & dog for the next week)
3rd “I’m on my way, I want to visit you”
“Please don’t, I’m not up to visitors!” (I’m still in bed & haven’t showered yet)
Phone call: “I’m already here, I’m below your window; I want to come in”
“No!” (refer above & I look like crap, have no time to, nor any intention of scrubbing up for you, or anyone else for that matter!)
“Can you at least climb up to your window so I can see you?”
“NO! Goodbye!!” in my most forceful whisper (what don’t you understand about “NO!” Freak Face!?)
So he stood under my window & called my name several times at the top of his lungs in the hope I WOULD climb up for him..& as easy as that “f*ck off!” has re-entered my vocab! I rolled over & went back to sleep, thus ensuring blissful ignorance of the ensuing 10 texts.
Vasily gobbed off to all & sundry about my ‘critical condition’ & refusal to co-operate sensibly, went to call an AMBULANCE & was stopped by Nelly, who told him that if I wanted to be left alone then I should be. “She has enough friends now that if she needs help she’ll get it!” Thank goodness for Nelly! I’d’ve been mortified & furious if an ambulance had arrived!

I’d hoped spending the day sleeping would do the trick but by 6:30pm I’d deteriorated so much, I conceded defeat, accepted that I’ve a chest infection, laryngitis & tonsillitis & need to break out the anti-biotics I brought with me, along with the bottle of Strepsil’s Plus & paracetemol. Ahhhh, sweet oblivion..well not yet, but here’s hoping!

Saturday, 21 May 2005 I’ve slept today away as well, only surfacing for the next bucket of pills. I’m much better than yesterday (the ‘death-rattle’ from my lungs has mostly stopped though I’m still trying to cough them both up, I only have a thumping headache now, I can swallow without tears..just, & my voice is that of a sexy tone deaf jazz singer who smokes 40 a day!)

I’ve had 3 phone calls today; 1 from Nelly to tell me she’d knocked on my door twice this morning to invite me to their summer cottage for the weekend..1 from Anatoliy to check how I am & can he come to see me (he’d obviously scoured his translation dictionary & practiced the questions & possible answers..he should’ve stopped at ‘N for No’)..& a missed 1 from Vasily while I was in the shower (does he have radar attached to it?..I’m sure I’ve asked this before..his strike rate’s uncanny & unnerving!), with a follow-up text asking me to call cos he has some important news for me.
As far as I’m concerned the only news I consider important enough to disturb me today is that I’ve won $10,000,000 or even better, 1 of you has arrived in town. Ok, a warning that “the police are about to smash down your door, get some clothes on!” would be welcomed. Actually news of the lottery win can wait ‘til Monday too!

I’m sorry if I sound grumpy; from where I’m lying I love & appreciate that people are concerned about me, want to help & entertain, but I don’t understand their refusal to recognise when someone is too ill for ‘tea, cakes, banter & window-dancing’, or to see the sense in keeping away from a vessel of highly infectious toxic waste, even in the face of incontrovertible evidence. It’s not as if I’m normally anti-social or a regular on the sick-list.

This has been a good lesson for me in how quickly & seriously sick you can get in a foreign environment. I’m actually feeling worried about facing winter here again now, especially in light of my depleted medical supplies.

I was forced to emerge from my room late afternoon to buy more fruit & juice. Ludmila (the security lady) greeted me with “kak dela?” (how are you?)
“Plorkha!” (bad!)
She was very solicitous but sensible enough to let me do what had to be done & get back to bed as quickly as possible.
STOP PRESS: I found my 1st box of tissues in Russia! Very timely!! That soft toilet paper I was so excited about finding a few weeks ago is still sandpaper to a snotty nose! Especially when you use 2 rolls in 2 days!

Murphy’s given me a break..no weddings this weekend!

I’m starting to wonder if the growing frustration I feel regarding lack of personal space & privacy is a common experience in this line of work. Is this why contracts everywhere else include extensive paid leave, bonuses & a return flight home upon fulfilment of a full school year? Probably! Suck it back Prue; harden up & learn for your next contract, or only take 3 – 6 month positions from now on!
Conversely, as previously said, a bit of R&R in the weekends, a load of gretchka during the week & the majority of my students serve to cheer me up! I’m probably being a cranky mole cos I’m not well!

Sunday, 22 May 2005 I was supposed to spend today with Max & Natasha but begged off. I’m better but still rubbish. I haven’t the energy for people yet, plus I couldn’t bear the thought of passing my lurgy onto them & Kerell.

I’ve also cancelled an assessment lesson with a new student.

1/2 the day in bed, the other 1/2 quietly working through e-mail.

Natasha arrived at my door before I’d emerged from bed with a food parcel..bliny, magnificent grapefruit and a carton of grape juice..& an offer to take me to hospital.

I was told before coming here that a lot of people who spend an extended amount of time in Russia suffer a few days of depression when they leave, & it’s thought this is caused by the release of unrealised tension & paranoia about personal safety. After last week & this weekend I’m not so sure that’s the reason.
Although Russians know how to have a laugh & enjoy themselves, there’s always an underlying awareness that life is tough. Sneeze once & they’re running to dial 111 & the undertaker..”honestly it’s just the pepper/dust/pollen!”
Almost all stories, even if funny, have serious & miserable undertones. ‘Carefree’ seems to have bypassed them. While confined to my bed I’ve been reading a book of short stories by a popular Russian author, Alexander Grin. By mid-day Sunday I was ready to slash my wrists. I haven’t read any of “Crime & Punishment” for 6-weeks because it was getting me down. So now I wonder if depression hits foreigners because the under-abundance of ‘vacuous joy’ while in Russia sinks in & hits home when slapped in the face with ‘the rest of the world’s joy once we depart.

I noticed the change in tone of my messages to you this weekend. I hope it’s due to me settling into a routine & things are no longer quite so ‘new & exciting’.

Monday, 23 May 2005 ‘Strong Kiwi Chick’ face on, I tottered downstairs & joined Nelly & Ludmila (accountant) for lunch. Nelly had exciting news for me..there’s a parcel from The States for me at reception. Hoorah, it’s my Papaw Ointment; just in time too, the safety pins in my pants have given me a rash. Only the Darrell Lea liquorice to wait for now.

Vasily almost fainted when he saw me up & about. He asked how I’d managed it & I told him I had magic drugs from NZ.

Nelly went out & bought me some ‘special medicinal’ herbal tea for the ‘flu. It’s REALLY yummy but can only be used for 10 days, which is a bummer cos I was thinking it could replace the packets of liquorice tea I’ve given away to my curious favourites.
Anatoliy & my Intermediate girls gave me a ‘wounded hero’s’ welcome. The girls think I got sick because I have both windows & door open in the classroom so they’ve now taken control of where the airflow comes from.
Stass arrived during my lesson with Anatoliy. He showed me his wounds. Shatter me! That boy is VERY lucky to still be here. He was sliced from just below his rib cage to the top of his pants & 2 diagonal wounds on either side of that, & his stitches are still in.
My new student, Dmitri, arrived at 8pm..poor little man, he was sooooo nervous, sweat was pouring off him for the 1st 30 minutes. He was happy with the lesson but I’m fretting. His English is like a pendulum..surprisingly good, then nerve wrackingly bad. In an hour I was unable to find a single thing we have in common so I’ve no idea where to start, & he doesn’t know what he wants from me. Ugh! Hopefully it’ll get easier as he relaxes.
Next was Vadim. He & Alex work with Dmitri. Dmitri obviously didn’t know Vadim comes to me too, & so almost snogged Vadim in his excitement to see a familiar face. He asked Vadim if my lessons were helping him & got a resounding “YES!” Bless!!
So anyway, Vadim had brought a flash card load of photos to show me; a holiday in Finland (did you know alcohol is sold only on Fridays & Saturdays there? Apparently they like their tipple even more than Russians so their supply is restricted. I said I’d just buy 7 bottles on Friday to last me the week, Vadim agreed), 3 other holidays & finally a couple of photos of his cat. OH MY GOD! It’s one of those ‘bald’ cats. I hated it when I 1st looked at the pics but grew on me until I decided I shouldn’t meet it because I’d probably steal it.
Vadim brought his resume to me last week..SHOCKINGLY translated from Russian. I worked on it on Thursday night before bed. When I showed him tonight all he did was gasp, go very quiet, then say “WOW!” And that was just for the formatting. I’m kind of proud of myself for being able to make a readable resume for an oil-and-gas specialist; there’re only 2 technical terms I couldn’t translate intelligently so I’ve asked Vadim to talk to Alex & report back to me.

Tuesday, 24 May 2005 Scratch my earlier concern about depleted medical supplies. I can’t even fathom what would induce me to take those anti-biotics again! I stopped taking them on Sunday because they were upsetting my belly..today it still sounds like a rumbling volcano about to blow!

The temperature has dropped dramatically today & I’m back to wearing jackets, inside & out. We had a couple of electrical storms today. The forecast temperature for Thursday is 0°C..it was 25°C on Saturday! Crazy damn country!

The Mog & I have ‘fallen out’. He’s pee’d on my desk, destroying a set of very expensive Russian rechargeable batteries in the process, the dirty little mucker! Anywhere in my room is out of line, but the desk is just bizarre! Hang on..my Chevy became an ‘inappropriate pisser’..is it me? Nah, it can’t be, Muchina hasn’t disgraced himself.

I printed the lyrics for some of Anatoliy’s favourite songs yesterday (Beatles, Led Zep, Def Leppard & Chuck Berry) & so today all he wanted to do is practice, practice, practice Chuck Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode”.
He was looking tired today & I made the mistake of asking if he’d slept badly. With the help of the Collin’s Russian/English Dictionary he told me he’d slept badly because he’d dreamt all night of women stripping!
“Oh! Ok, ya pinyula (I understand), that’s enough!”
Tatiana’s coming to collect him tomorrow night, so I made him learn “Hello Tatiana, I’ve missed you, I love you, I’m happy you’re here with me!” Hahahaha, yeah, I bet he will be! Her too!
Nelly gate crashed the lesson & put Anatoliy through his paces. I’m a quiet teacher (except for my laugh of course) who gives time for students to search for their words. Nelly’s loud, & if she doesn’t get an immediate reply, harangues & barks & gives no quiet moment for thought or a response. Poor Anatoliy looked like a possum caught in a spotlight! I kept saying “slowly Nelly, quietly Nelly” but she wouldn’t have it. The poor man finally got over his shock & answered all her questions, & to show her approval she rewarded him with a conversation in Russian about me. The result being Nelly’s new-found respect for my teaching abilities & romance plans oozing from every one of her pores!

Vadim said at his 2nd lesson he’d get me a mouse for my lappy, I told him I’m happy with the pad. Tonight he turned up with a mini-mouse for me anyway! It’s a spiffy little number..& I can’t get used to it!

Wednesday, 25 May 2005 I trotted out in my new skirt today, only because I’m bored with wearing the same 3 pairs of trousers for 3 months. I get lots of comments about my trou, but put me in a skirt & the women positively swoon..even the cleaners today!
It was a bad day to be bored..it snowed! Marvellous! The heating’s been turned off!

Anatoliy was so encouraged by yesterday’s success with “Johnny B. Goode” he wanted to work through the rest today. “Birthday” by the Beatles was a breeze (no Pulitzer prize for the lyrics of this one!) so he flipped to “Crazy” by Aerosmith. Ooooh, now that’s a toughie! He made it through the 1st 2 verses before his head exploded. I admire the man’s drive & I’m really proud of the progress he’s made! Today’s our last lesson until he returns to Surgut after his break. I think he must work 3-week-on 3-week-off shifts, so I’m fully expecting to have to start from scratch when he returns, though I expect him to be able to sing his songs for me. I’m going to miss him..he’s such a keen learner, a bit of a sweetie, we laugh a lot & best of all, his lessons bear no resemblance to all the others. I think if he ever gets to the stage of being able to conduct a conversation I’ll enjoy working with him as much as I enjoy Alex.

1/2 of Moscow has been without power for 5 hours today. 20,000 people were trapped in the underground trains, traffic lights were out, & chaos ruled. News broadcasts reported just one power station was the cause of this..still haunted by the secrecy & propaganda of the Communist era, most people I’ve spoken to believe more than one station was affected & that it’s very possibly the result of terrorist activity.

Kate has finally reappeared tonight. She hasn’t been to lessons since before Miss Planeta. I’d given up on her & thought she was too afraid to tell me she wasn’t coming anymore. It turns out she’s been really ill. She was involved in a car accident when she was 15; she had a fairly serious head injury that has left her with a benign tumour. I knew all this ages ago. After Miss Planeta she started getting really bad headaches & emotional swings. She was admitted to hospital & was there for a long time. Now she’s been discharged but has daily appointments & regular CAT scans. She told all this with a smile on her face & an optimistic attitude. Kate’s such an awesome girl & Fate can be a sh*t sometimes! It makes the ‘flu pale into insignificance doesn’t it?!

Hey! Have I ever explained to you why there’re no road markings? It’s because they’re hidden beneath 6 inches of ice..dummy! Come spring & the thaw, lane markings & pedestrian crossings are visible once more.

Privet!
At the moment I'm about as grounded & reliable as the scattiest creature you can imagine, so if you think at any point I'm contradicting myself, you're probably right!

Thursday, 26 May 2005 Today was like a holiday..I slept until 2:30 p.m. (a massive 12 hour sleep!). No Anatoliy lesson at 2 p.m.; just my usual 6 p.m. class with the Beginners & that was it! Vadim moved our usual Thursday chat to Wednesday at Alex’s request.
Alex took me to see Sveta again & now I have YUMMY copper-coloured hair. A mere 2-hour appointment tonight. Me re-coloured, Lyuba & Alex shorn, I expected to head home, but Alex & Lyuba wanted dinner & drinks. I really need an early night but then I could do with a good meal as well! We went to a sports bar, had a couple of beers & a very cheap meal. They ordered roast lamb for me..it’s the BEST lamb I’ve EVER had! Cooked to perfection; sooooooo tender, hardly any fat, tasty & oozing mint. I’m telling you, Kiwi lamb can ‘sling its hook’! Unfortunately, my odds of ever sourcing Russian lamb ‘down under’ are worse than winning 1st Division Lotto (I’ll never win, I don’t buy tickets). Our waitress picked up on my English & so included me in the ‘business’ bits by speaking English too! At the end of our meal I asked her to give my compliments to the Chef.
Lyuba fired a barrage in Russian at Alex..he looked at me & shaking his head said ”Ok Prue, a crazy question from Lyuba..do you enjoy spending time with us?”
I told Alex I hate every minute I spend with them (he got the joke thankfully) then turned to Lyuba & said “Ya lyublyu tbye (I love you ‘guys’), you’re my FAVOURITE people here!” Big hugs for this..it’s true though. These 2 are the one’s that’ll make me cry when I leave!
Ben, they also asked me to introduce you to them if/when you come in December.
If you do come, you’ll be treated like a celebrity by everyone at Planeta; I can’t imagine not introducing you to Alex & Lyuba!
Home by 1:30 a.m. & I know I’ll be interrogated by Nelly when I emerge from my room later in the day.

Friday, 27 May 2005 I have nothing for you today other than the weather is bizarre at the moment..really cold, really hot, really windy, raining, sunny, snowing; has Dr. Who & his Tardus secretly transported me to Melbourne?

Saturday, 28 May 2005 It’s sunny today but blowing a gale. Feeling chilly, I dressed in a jersey, donned my wind-breaker & hit the shops. The temperature on the street was way warmer than in my room so it wasn’t long before I regretted rugging up. Today’s shopping was all about gifts. I need to find birthday presents for Natasha & Natalya & ‘thank you’ gifts for Lyuba, Alex & Sveta. It’s not essential that I buy today; I just need to explore new shops & get some ideas.
I found lots of new shops; wa-oh though, all for me!

I popped into my local shopping mall on the way home to buy some food, & found a hitherto undiscovered wing to it & bought 3 books for work.
“I’ll just make a quick visit to my favourite hat shop while I’m here.” I’d just started looking when a bloke stepped in front of me, grabbed a hat, turned around & put it on me. I didn’t know what to do with myself! The hat was perfect, & with that he was gone! I’m not interested in summer hats so my money was safe.

I was waiting in the classroom for Vasily & the Intermediate students to arrive for their ‘big’ exam when Vasily phoned wanting to know where I was. He told me to come outside as he had a ‘surprise’ for me. He’s arrived on his ‘pushy’ cos he thought I might like a ride! A ‘flash’ of the nice guy he was when we were e-mailing & negotiating my arrival & contract.
It took a bit of getting used to; pedal brakes & mini-ape-hangers, but I had fun..unflattering pics attached.
Pre-exam photo is also attached & I have real concerns about my spatial reasoning. I keep saying how small everyone is here, including the men. In this pic I’m standing next to Alexander & I’d have sworn before now that he’s not all that big!
The photo I sent a couple of weeks ago of me & Max shocked me too. I would’ve put money on Max being the same size as me! I’ve never felt small, but my perception is bordering on the ridiculous now!

Kate arrived too late to sit the exam. While we were chatting my tummy let off a deafening gurgle so she went out to get me a ‘sandwich’. Russian style ‘toasty’..bliny, cheese & ham..swoon! I never want a toasted sandwich made with bread again!

Sunday, 29 May 2005 I’ve had a crappy sleep, fully disturbed by dreams of a red coat I saw yesterday; this kind of reaction is a good barometer for me, so I’m off to get it.
When I arrived the ladies grabbed the coat for me to try again, then produced one the same, but silver grey (styley but I’m too much of a grub), another style in orange/red (nah), a couple of black coats (NO, I want colour) & finally a pink one (very nice, but I like the red!)
Justification for this extravagance is that my ‘bloke’s jacket’ is too hot for spring & autumn, my wind breaker isn’t warm enough; I’m ill, swinging between freezing & boiling, neither of which can be doing much for my health.

I looked at jandles for home-wear; they want me to pay NZ$50! GET AWAY WITH YOUR BAD SELVES!

More retail exploration & I found places Alex had taken me to that I didn’t realise were so close to home. I spent ages in one shop trying to buy something for Natasha; some awesome candles, but no holder to go with them, lots of other ‘possibles’ but nothing quite right. I finally bought a cheap vase for myself & the shop lady gave me a piece of Russian craft as a gift..a cute little cat.

Andy Paterson: I saw your doppelganger today! His hair was even the same (though a bit tidier). I followed him into a shop so I could hear him speak..I just HAD to find out if he was Russian..he was (bummer!) He caught me staring & I scurried back to my own business. Spooky!

I visited my hat shop again, thinking I might buy a scarf for Natasha. Hat after hat was handed to me; another lady tried to join the fun until the shop lady told her “Roosky gavarite pinumyatcha plorkha” (her Russian language understanding is bad!). I laughed, said “da”, went back to the scarves, found nothing & left.
Finally I found a yellow vase that’s modern & plain & will go with Natasha’s decor. Next stop the florist, to fill it. Being a complete nonce when it comes to flowers, I pointed out some blue flowers I wanted, produced the vase & left the rest to the expert. I think she did a great job. I also bought a red carnation & a piece of twisted bamboo for me.
Too late, Max phoned to say they want to postpone our chat session. I won’t see them now until Wednesday so I’ll probably have to replace the flowers. Oh well, I’ll have a pretty room for a couple of days!

Monday, 30 May 2005 The results for the written component of the Intermediate exam on Saturday were gutting! Although the girls can speak very well now, they’ve failed to transfer the principles to writing. This could have been addressed if they’d done their homework when asked or if I’d canned speaking practice in class in favour of completing the assigned homework. My mistake for allowing them room for making adult decisions & taking responsibility, which I understand now, is alien to Russian education. I’ve learned a valuable lesson & they’ll find a much tougher teacher from now on.

Exciting news today. Friday night we have a boat trip on the Ob River, courtesy of Mayster. AWESOME!!! This means I have to move Friday’s lessons to a Saturday, but it’ll be worth it. I can’t wait!

Tuesday, 31 May 2005 Anatoliy returned today, much to my surprise! He bounded up the stairs as Nelly & I walked past & wrapped his arms around me. I got a hell of a fright!
He won’t be having daily lessons again yet, but will call me the day before he wants one (lesson that is!!!) I’m not sure how well this’ll work, but I’ll give it a go for now.
After he’d left Nelly summonsed me to her room because she had something ‘very important’ to discuss. “Of course you do Nelly!”
“This man likes you too much, I saw it in his face. He’s in love with you!”
sigh “Nelly, he knows nothing about me & he’s a married man. I don’t need another difficult ‘love’!”
“Ah, what’s to know? He wants you, that’s enough. A wife is removeable, she’s not a wall! You can have him, and you must! He’ll leave her for you!”
I’ve told you before, Nelly has NO morals when it comes to match-making for her friends.
“Nelly, she’s his 3rd wife, they’ve only been married 3 years & he’s cheating on her. He’s not the man for me.”
“And you will be his 4th wife! Let it be so!!”

Terrible news came next: I have to make a speech to not just the Planeta staff, but the staff of Institutes connected with Planeta from neighbouring cities, on Friday.

Vasily asked today how long I plan to be in NZ when I leave here in December. I told him the duration of my stay depended on whether I had a new teaching position to go to next year. Mayster has asked that I return to Planeta for 2006. I said I can’t because of the visa issue, but now they propose that I leave Russia & they’ll issue me with a new letter of invitation. I’ve told Vasily I need time to think about it. I’ve been looking at positions in Poland, Kiev & Odessa in the Ukraine, Naples, San Jose, Mexico, & even Moscow & St Petersburg. All these jobs are looking for a September 2005 start which is no use to me however it’ll be worth my while to send my CV to these schools to see if they’d be interested in me early next year. If not then I need to decide whether to stay in NZ for 6-months, grab a short term contract in China, or return to Planeta/Surgut until May. To return to Planeta I’d need the conditions of my contract to match these others.
Vasily also gave me an article from the internet about teaching in Russia. He only read the beginning which talks about Russia still being considered dangerous. What it goes on to say is that it’s not (I know that now), consequently the demand for English teachers is far greater than the supply so great jobs can be found with a little bit of effort.
Alex & I talked about it tonight & he suggested I return to Surgut but not Planeta; he’ll issue my letter of invitation & arrange all the necessary documentation & I could either work exclusively as a freelance private tutor or make a proposal to the Lingua Centre. I didn’t see THAT coming!
It’s almost tempting, but I’m not brave enough to set up as a private tutor only. It’s too risky as I’d have to find a furnished flat & feed myself, & I don’t want to keep working nights. Murphy would step in & have Alex, Vadim, Dmitri, Max & Natasha all move to Moscow & I’d be stranded! Alternatively, I could move with them. A contract with one of the major companies teaching business English and/or assisting with documentation would be good..it would certainly be more lucrative. If I took Alex up on his offer I would definitely need Russian language lessons.
I’ve also been thinking about skipping between NZ & the rest of the world; 12-months in NZ, 6-months elsewhere. Chances are though that if I decide to try this out I’ll either never leave NZ again or I’ll only get crappy work in NZ & I can’t handle that!
Finally, it’s time to consider letting a man back into my life; that can’t happen unless I’m someplace where merely dating is an option let alone meeting ‘Mr. Right-for-Awhile’. Surgut is NOT ‘that place’!
I have a lot of thinking to do & it’s bloody hard doing that without people to sit down & talk with & bounce ideas off! Too much time alone in my own head makes my perspective ‘screwy’ & at the mercy of my emotions; decision making has never been so fraught! What to do? What to do? All opinions are welcome at this point!

The ground is covered in white again..not snow though; it’s poplar fuzz & it’s playing havoc with my lungs & sinuses, & I seem to have a constant headache, just like everyone else.
Come summer & the peat that’s just below the topsoil will start to burn & so the atmosphere will be really smoky. I never thought I’d live to see the day when I’d look forward to winter, but here we both are!