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Saturday, 25 November 2006

Mexican Madness; 2006 in Aguascalientes - Moscow to Aguascalientes

Moscow to Aguascalientes

Wednesday, May 24, 2006 Epiphany in the shower this morning..that cold water really does get in!
Rather than brain-aching diaries, I’ll trial ‘theme’ messages..starting with this one, which is much longer than the following ones. Forgive me if I repeat myself..I have no idea what I’ve told you already. Let me know what you think.

Sunday, 25 December 2005 I didn’t send anything for some time after leaving Surgut; a combination of no internet access in Moscow, feeling miserable leaving my friends in Russia, & some culture shock. No proper dates & times for you regarding my travel itinerary..5 cities, 4 countries, 4 time zones, 3 days of non-stop travel, too hard to decipher. The entire duration spent in the air, or in airports..only one shower grabbed, which was in Zurich, not a bed seen at all..only 5 and a half hours of all that time spent in darkness, which is more time than I actually slept; is it any wonder my brain was custard for ages?

Back to the beginning …

Monday, 12 December 2005 Vadim took me into town to arrange my flights. PANIC! Two choices; fly 7am tomorrow..effectively non-stop..Moscow - Zurich - New York JFK - Mexico City - Aguascalientes, arriving in Ags at 11:30am Wednesday Mexican local time (Thursday everywhere else), or stay put in Moscow until after Christmas. Flights are fully booked.
I’m flying in the morning; I don’t want to impose on Alex & Olya, Vadim & Natalya any longer.
Back to Alex & Olya’s around 8pm. All hell had broken loose. Sergei’s teacher phoned to say Sergei hadn’t been to school for a couple of weeks. Olya was in tears; Alex was white with fury & worry; Sergei was cool, calm, collected, & unrepentant.
After much debate, I finally convinced Alex & Olya I would take a cab alone to Domodedovo Airport at midnight (5am Surgut time). Before I left, taxi waiting, Alex asked me to sit for a few minutes..Russian tradition for a good/safe trip..we 3 sat on my bags. He made me promise I’d come back to Moscow if Mexico proves too dangerous. Hugs & tears from us both before I climbed into the cab.

The little beast..he’d paid the taxi driver in advance!

So make that 3 & a half days of airports & travel. Too early to check in, I wandered around for a couple of hours, sat in a bar & had a couple of glasses of wine, a couple of buckets of water, & some heavy, greasy food that turned my stomach. Still too early to check in, I ‘hit the wall’ & tried to grab some shut-eye, that failed because some bloke started scrabbling at the bag I was using as a pillow. I’m sure the entire airport heard my furious, ‘on-the-brink’ “HEY!” He should’ve vaporised at the look I gave him, but no, his gobful of gold teeth deflected the heat; he lay down & went to sleep smirking. STEAMING, all inclination to sleep gone, I roamed (writer’s licence..more like stumbled) the airport until check-in. Have you any idea how hard it is to ‘roam’ with check-in luggage weighing (53kg’s) all-but the same as you, plus hand-luggage (8kg’s) that makes up the difference plus some (I’m weighing in at 55kg’s at the moment), when you’re sleep deprived? Let me lend you my squished shoes so you can walk in them & understand! I lost my favourite pashmina in the process..boohoohooo! Realistically speaking, if I’d lost the other pashmina IT would’ve been my favourite. They’re pretty pieces of frittery, whilst also being light-weight, small, handy, & surprisingly warm essential items.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005 There was a problem with my hand luggage. Weight the issue, & I had too many bags. Backpack with lappy, a change of clothes, & clean undies for 4 days, cosmetic bag with makeup & shampoo, & a disturbing bag filled with mags & hats. I tried logic; who in their right mind would entrust a laptop to ‘cargo’ status?, & pointing out my itinerary (hence the need for my cosmetic bag, clothes, undies & mags), & reasoning that styley hats just can’t be shoved into a suitcase. No empathy from the check-in chick, the nice supervisor girly understood & let me get away with everything.
This time no-one wanted to check my lappy, & I didn’t have to take my shoes off or wear plastic bags on my feet. I did have to stand in a ‘tardus’ though..”put your feet exactly on those painted feet”. No condoms loaded with Russian petroleum gas or diamonds detected in my belly, I was quickly allowed through.
About 30 minutes before 7:10am (I’ve been up & about for over 22-hours now) “Calling all passengers for flight 1325 to Zurich …”

THE SIBERIAN ADVENTURE IS OVER (sniff, snivel, weep..it’s been so quick..I’m feeling very ‘blue’!)

Tuesday, 13 December 2005 Our flight was delayed because a plane behind us was blocking the runway. There was trouble moving it because the tarmac was too slippery from ice & snow. I’ve subsequently learned there was a cold-snap in Russia as I was leaving..Surgut plummeting to -58C! YOU’VE GOT TO BE JOKING! -38C was sufficient for me, & my book!
Moscow to Zurich; Gorgeous Moscow sunrise behind me. 2 lovely leather seats all to myself (no beating that delectable smell), a nap grabbed, not enough. Too upset, too keyed up.
Flying into a beautiful sunrise. Really wanted to steal the pretty, red airline blanket for posterity, warmth insurance, & possible bedroom decoration, but was intimidated by the warning on the packaging “The Property Of Swiss Air. To Remain On The Aircraft!” Didn’t notice that warning on the Cathay Pacific blanket packaging flying NZ to Hong Kong thank goodness..THAT blanket has been worth more than its share of my excess baggage charges!
I snapped loads of photos from my window seat, but it’s going to take some time to cull & organise them..(12-months later, I still haven’t finished the task!) I wrote some emotionally charged things to go with the photos, but really, probably none of it will mean anything to you, so I’m not going to include them at this stage.
An unintentional flash of brilliance; I’d forgotten a carton of juice from my breakfast. Forget your sickly, sticky boiled sweets for sucking on to unblock your ears. Sucking juice through a skinny straw’s the ticket! Best landing ears ever, no furry teeth..oohoohooo, even better! Why else would aero-hosties tell mother’s to breast-feed during landing? There you go; finally, a practical traveller’s tip for you!
Zurich’s a BEAUTIFUL place to fly into. Oh my god, it’s stunning! Why, why, why can’t I take photos? Gorgeous farmland, an amazing collage of rural colours & designs, paddocks of green & brown, some looking like corduroy, some like velvet..it’s all in the tilling method; hands stuck to the window, I had to stroke the view. Quaint, old-fashioned looking methods of transport; a green tractor with 2 trailers, one red, one white. Some fabulous-looking urban architecture.
Touchdown 8:50am Monday Zurich time (10:50am Moscow time; 12:50pm Surgut time; 5:50pm Qld time; 3:50pm Perth time; 8:50pm NZ time..sorry Sean, that’s as far as I’m going to convert)..so far, so good; we’re all on the same day. I wish I’d had enough time to leave the airport & look around. Alas, no. Only time to do airport reconnaissance, grab a shower & have my hair dried at the hairdressers, get my Switzerland souvenirs (I’m such a fraud)..a Swatch watch (instead of the usual 1 – 12 or 3, 6, 9, & 12 dial, it has 4, 8, & 12; also the strap & connecting bitties have a Koru design..I’m sure you understand why I HAD to have it; the dumb Hong Kong watch gives me a rash), & some coins (yes Vadim, I’ve got a couple for you), buy a book to pass some flight time, & have a brief chat with a guy from Italy there on business.
1:10pm “This is the final call for flight 65 …”
Zurich to New York JFK..even less sleep, daylight all the way. A fairly full flight but I still had 2 seats to myself. So many Jewish men..little beanies held in place with hairclips (ingenuity called for by the balding ones), interesting hairstyles & whiskers on the ones I assume were rabbi’s. Yes, we’ve seen it all before on TV, but there’s nothing like the real thing to gawp at.
A toddler doing all the right things to avoid deep vein thrombosis; we struck up an eye-contact, wink, grin, & wave ‘friendship’.
The approach view of New York into JFK is not so beautiful, but still interesting. I was gutted I didn’t get to see the Statue of Liberty..at least I don’t think I did. I didn’t have anyone sitting next to me to explain what I was seeing, & I was too shy to ask the couple of guys who’d spent a fair bit of the flight looking at me trying to work out my nationality.
Aren’t women strange creatures? The only women that would meet my eye are the ones that had babies that liked me, & accepted that I was old enough to be their baby’s grandmother. As for the rest..I was the ‘Phantomess’! In return, exhausted & fragile, I retracted into my crab-shell & emitted ‘I don’t care, I don’t need you’ vibes. Needless to say, I limited my own options. [Months later & wiser: To hell with that rubbish! From now on, I’m going to walk up, bold as brass, & talk to women; hyeehaha..it works..I’m a winner!]
Courage worked up at last, I was too late..”Fasten your seatbelts, secure your trays, & stow your hand luggage for landing.” Touchdown December 13th 4:10pm NY time (10:10pm December 14th Zurich time; 12:10am December 14th Moscow time; 2:10am December 14th Surgut time; 7:10am December 14th FNQ time; 5:10am December 14th Perth time; 9:10am December 14th NZ time. Ummm..did I miss a day somewhere? Tell me it wasn’t while I was taking a dreaded aircraft, time-wasting, & sight-missing pee!
I had to collect ALL my luggage (52kg’s departing Surgut, probably 5 – 8kg’s purged in Moscow, but then I bought an overflow suitcase, a beret, & what with gifts from Vadim, Alex & families..lordy, lordy, lordy, back to square one plus 1 kg..US$120 excess baggage charge..the greedy brutes!), then re-check it before I could do anything else.
I DO object to being charged for excess baggage when my luggage & I together weigh less than the average traveller + luggage, if my observations & estimates are anything to go by! Sexism..ageism..racism..nationalism..we’ve all heard & read about weightism when it comes to ‘chunky-monkeys’..Now I’m firmly putting my hand up & yelling “weightism..WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BE PENALISED FOR BEING SCRAWNY?!” I now seriously believe that travellers AND their luggage should be weighed together, & a median range established. It’s not on that seat sizes are being increased to accommodate our larger populace, at no extra charge. Even at my most obese, I never encroached on my neighbours space, so why should I pay … blah, blah, blah! Just in case any of you are hitting the scales & contemplating bulimia as a result of this ‘hiss’..SETTLE DOWN! I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of Kiwi’s (THAT’S KIWI’S, not my FRIENDS) that come anywhere near the size of some of the people I’ve travelled with in the last 3-years.
The airport was flat-out so it took ages for luggage to appear. Two obnoxious American women & a hen-pecked husband gave me good reason to remain mellow & pleasant, which earned me the ‘friendship’ of a poor old Swiss lady in a wheelchair at the mercy of a stroppy airport attendant. We talked a bit & I helped spot & retrieve her bags. Whoopee, mine came shortly after.
Rechecking my bags, the woman dealing with me mistook my rapid Kiwi speech for someone getting agitated (English; native & mutual language bonding..hoowah! Doh, apparently not at the rate I was speaking!) I apologised profusely, explained where I’m from, where I’d been & why, made her giggle, & was allowed to go.
Next stop, immigration. My fingerprints & eye-scan are now recorded in the world’s database, so that’s the end of my chances to become a terrorist. Come on! Of course I’d look great wearing a belt of ‘anti-matter’ threaded through my jeans (sorry, the book I bought in Zurich was Dan Brown’s ‘Angels & Demons’)
Definitely flagging, I decided to stow my hand luggage to give my aching body some respite & the chance to relax. True to form, I got lost & ended up in..I don’t know what the place was. The ‘nice’ man there told me how to get to the right place, & suggested I come back for him once I’d off-loaded..”you’re very pretty”, wink, wink. Yeah, thanks G. Like I’m in any condition for romancing right now..NOT!
Photo & signature taken to accompany my checked hand luggage; weighed down only by my bumbag & docs pouch I fairly floated about the airport shops. New York souvenir purchased..a carryall with a cool New York scene all over it .. Arguably a bad choice..so so easy to fill & increase the pressure on my poor wee shoulders! At US$10 it was a bargain, compared to the cutesy & impractical little Betty-Boop handbag that I really wanted, & cashing in at US$100!
OK, time for sustenance & rest, I was tripping over my own feet with every 3rd step.
The 1st place I went to had a friendly barman, got me a glass of wine, & a good conversation with a guy from Germany. He gave me a Chinese Yuen “for luck”, that he’d been given for the same reason 10 years ago, as he left to catch his flight home to wife & kids. Personally, I think that was a pretty special gift given we’re strangers..it’s become one of my ‘travel-treasures’.
The bar menu was ikky. Wine finished I moved on looking for healthy food.
Should’ve stayed with the ikky menu; the meal I bought that looked so healthy was foul! Bummer!!! I had to walk around for an hour trying to get my belly to settle.
Back to my friendly barman, & some relaxation..so I thought. Nope! A lady-lawyer from Israel, who now lives & works in NY, joined me & talked until my ears bled. Thankfully, her flight was called, but by then my cosy bar had lost all appeal; besides, sleep deprivation & 2 glasses of wine are not a good combination. Talk about squiffy! (squiffy: in-between mildly & very drunk).
I collected my hand luggage & decided to hide out in the anonymous & unfriendly arena of the public benches. Tired? I was more tired than the tiredest thing in the entire world! Let’s try airport bench sleeping again then. Nuh-uh, it just wouldn’t work. I remain a novice traveller, with the memory of ‘Gold-Teeth’ still too fresh in my mind! Ok; food & coffee. Oooooh, so wish I hadn’t! Blaccch!!
Stumbling back to my bench, a guy called out to me to come & chat. Nooooooooo! Please no! Really? Wah-ha-boo-hoo-hoo, ‘no’ wasn’t the right answer! He’d been talking to another traveller earlier & claimed they’d been watching me trying to sleep & wondered what my ‘story’ is. His story was that he’s a musician, generally supporting big names, on his way back from nursing his terminally ill mother. He plays in Mexico a few times a year & thought it’d be a good idea to look me up.
“Calling passengers for flight 8297 …”
“That’s me, gotta go, nice talking to you. Good luck! Catch you in A-mumble-tes, Mexico”
This time last year I’d have bubbled over & given him my contact details..but today something just didn’t feel quite right. Russian paranoia? Loss of naivete? Exhaustion? I’m hoping it was gut-instinct, because if it’s the result of the other three, I’m sad for me.

Call me ‘The Lucky One’! I was singled out for interrogation! “Where are you from? Where are you going? Why? Where have you come from? What were you doing THERE? Where were you before that? What were you doing there? Give me the details of your movements since February. Show me your teaching license. What are your plans? Open your laptop & show me your e-mails to prove you've got a job to go to. Thanks for that, I was just wasting your time, e-mails mean nothing. How much checked luggage do you have? What does each bag contain? Is there anything in any of your bags that may be considered a weapon?”
“Yes. 2 Swiss Army knives in the back pocket of the blue suitcase. A 220-vault hairdryer that could be mistaken for a firearm by your scanners, and a 220-vault tool to straighten my hair which gets REALLY hot in the black suitcase. A 220-vault Braun hair plucker..wanna give it a go on YOUR armpits?..in the purple backpack. Oh, and on my laptop, in the orange backpack, some sizzling photos of me in a green dress!” Nah, I didn’t mention the plucker or photos, but I WANTED to, just to pay him back for the e-mail game.
And on the questioning went. And on. And on. And on. The final call for my flight came & went. I commented I was concerned about holding everyone up..”We Kiwi’s don’t like inconveniencing people.” His response..”don’t worry about it, it’s normal! I want to talk to you some more..are you married? Where’s your husband? Will he be joining you? When will you be passing through this airport again?”
Then my name was called; the flight was delayed, & passengers weren’t allowed to board or disembark.
“C’mon guy..PLEASE?!” No respite..dangerous woman, this Prue Jarvis!
The BIG airport security guys were called in. They demanded I buy a return ticket to Moscow, or a forwarding flight to NZ. I told them I didn’t have the funds available on my credit card & it would take 24 - 48 hours to complete the transfer from cheque account to credit card via internet banking in order to pay. I must’ve passed the ‘too friendly, too excited, too cheeky, too honest, too patient, too tired, too ‘typically nutty Kiwi’, so crazy to choose this travel itinerary’ test. They contented themselves with making a flight booking for me without payment (bless!), & released the flight for boarding at 2:30am. Although some of this reflects badly on the American airport & security staff, they were actually very nice to me, especially when it came to bending the rules by booking me that unpaid for flight out. They could’ve been nastier.
And actually, I WAS the lucky one. Far from being the only one holding up the flight, I was therefore unidentified, & unhissed at. A couple of Mexican guys were being miserably harassed by a red-neck cop on the way to the plane. So malicious! Is it really necessary?
New York JFK to Mexico City. FINALLY, sleep. Well, for an hour anyway. My first flight in darkness, it made all the difference. My first contact with Mexicans; they ran the full gamut..crass trash, humble poor, flashy new rich, dignified in-betweens, humble old money. Crass trash in front of me, humble poor to my right (helped him with his baby), humble old money to my left (helped him to stow his overhead luggage); smiles from left & right. I hope I’m going to be ok.
I should’ve noted the aircraft toilet..more on toilets later.

Landed at 6:40am December 14th Mexico time (7:40am NY time … can you guys work out the rest please? Just remember that whatever time you calculate, it’ll be the 15th, while I'm still struggling through the 14th..the repetition of MY date is not a typo..just making sure you'll say "oh, poor Prue!").
The airport was very difficult for a shattered woman of my advanced years. Queues & milling 1,000’s of people everywhere, accompanying luggage filling the small amount of floor space left. Directed to one queue, waited forever in a system that had neither rhyme nor reason, only to be told once my turn came “oh no, you should be over there”..a crowded rugby field away. Just as well the 3rd queue was the right one, I was about to crumple & cry. Hell..I’m SUCH a CHICK..HATE THAT!
Connecting flight confirmed at last, a calming cigarette was in order. And it did the trick..until it was time to get rid of the butt. No bins! No piles of butts anywhere! Nothing! The street was immaculate! I gathered courage, & holding my smoldering butt-end like it was the piece of toxic waste it was, I approached a fagging guy who looked like he was foreign but ‘at home’. Whew, good spotting!
"Excuse me, do you speak English? Fantastic! Do you know where the ashtray is?"
“Just throw it on the ground!”
“Really? I don’t think I can. It’s not right! It’s too clean here.”
“Honey, look at it this way; you’re keeping someone in work & earning money. They’ll be by in a moment to sweep up!” No prizes for guessing he was an American (“Honey” being the clue.)
So I tossed my butt in the gutter, after 3 false attempts. And ran inside to hide in the bathroom & wash my hands before anyone identified me as the dirty pig trashing the pristine streets.
9:30am Flight 1238 Mexico City to Aguascalientes. Back to sleepless daylight flying. It occurred to me this multi-country journey has seen an end to my white-knuckle flying at some unidentified point. Maybe I’m cured, maybe I just don’t have the energy left to clench for now.
At 10:35am I stepped into a cute little airport that lost its appeal quickly; my bags were lost!
“Esperar, esperar, esperar (Wait, wait, wait).”
“Go & talk to that person.” …
… ‘That person’ said, “No, I can’t help you, you need to go over there.”
At ‘over there’, I was told “Just a moment (translation: an hour), I’ll find you an English speaker.”
English speaker: “Gosh, you HAVE had a long trip..all the way from Moscow..wow! Let me tell you about the time I travelled from … to …” (a 5-hour trip).
Pale faced sickly smile..’I can think of nothing I’d rather do than listen to your story when I haven’t lain in a bed for some days, & the bacteria on my body is multiplying at the speed of lightning!’ I’m such a ‘nice’ woman. I listened, I commiserated, I commended his English, I inconspicuously scraped my forehead back off the counter, & 2 hours later there were still no ‘Prue bags’! So now, it’s been 4 days since I left Alex, Olya, & Sergei; approaching 5 days since I last lay in a bed.
Defeat conceded by us both, I was allowed to crawl into a cab, book into my motel, to hopefully crash.
No crash. BINNGGGGG..my eyes opened, my body OD’d on adrenaline, my brain kicked in..”I’M IN MEXICO!” I took a long-long-long hot-hot-hot shower & went for a stroll; found a fabby fresh fruit & juice place, treated to an English speaker who gave me a king-sized juice for the price of a ‘kiddy-sipper’. He must’ve been worried about my pallor, the extent of which I was unaware of until I got back to my room. ‘White as a ghost’ doesn’t even begin to describe what the mirror reflected back.
Still too ‘up’ to sleep, another shower & cosmetic damage control completed, I beat the pavements looking for an internet café. Two close to home; one looked fancy from the outside but was a flea-pit indoors & expensive, the other was a plain little number, filled with sunshine, & cheap. No brainer!
A few urgent e-mails replied to, hard-core culling of spam & subscriptions, & it was time to luxuriate by lying flat & straight for the first time in a couple of days, to lie in a real bed for the first time in 10 days, to lie in a queen sized bed for the 1st time in 10 months. Diagonal starfish faceplant (face & stomach down, head at the top left of the bed, toes at the bottom right of the bed, arms & legs spread so there’s no room for any other human or cat).. BLISS! HEAVEN! OH MY ACHING BONES! ZZZZZZ!!!!

Thursday, 15 December 2005 I slept from 6pm last night until 10am this morning. Nice effort!
No bags other than those under my eyes, so I was forced to go in search of a couple of cheap tops & a pair of light shoes (fur lined boots are definitely not the go in this climate!)
Rene (my new boss) arrived in the evening to take me to the school to have a look around, to meet Danielle & a few students. Once Danielle’s lesson was over & it was just staff on site, they opened a bottle of vodka, & an initiation process commenced. I was questioned, asked & told bizarre things, & given bull-felling drinks. Thank goodness for vodka training, I did ok.

Friday, 16 December 2005 Still no suitcases. The cheap light tops I bought yesterday are ok for daytime, but it gets really cold in the evening. A jersey is required!

Collected by Rene to attend the school’s Christmas party..late. By the time we arrived the party was all but over, with maybe 5 people left. Angel was in a bit of a state because he’d been left to handle everything; Danielle & Carla not bothering to show up, & of course Rene AWOL. The last people dispatched, the school locked up, off we went to where Rene, Carla, & Danielle live. Plenty of people there, & I had a nice time meeting students & chatting.

Saturday, 17 December 2005 One of my missing bags has turned up. Damned shame it’s the least urgent of the lot..Russian coats & polyprop undies not being on the top of my requirements list right now. Still, it’s good to have it. Hoorah! One down, two to go!

Sunday, 18 December 2005 Spent the day fruitlessly driving around looking for an apartment. One little old duck appeared from nowhere & offered to help find a place. She’d been ‘taken’ by my ‘exotic looks’ as she’d glanced out her kitchen window, & was thrilled to learn from Rene that:-
a) I’m from New Zealand
b) Rene's from Canada
c) We're married

cough, splutter..you said WHAT to her?
Bless her swollen f’ankles (fat ankles), she knocked on a couple of doors & offered her assurances we’d be good tenants if a place could be made available. Delivered back to her home, she left me with kisses & blessings.
"Rene! What was that all about?"
"Hahahahaha..don't worry about it Prue, it was a joke, and that old lady wanted to believe we're a couple"

My last 2 missing bags have arrived. YEEHAAA! A smorgasbord of clean undies, fresh clothes, loads of wardrobe alternatives.
Ok, ok, ok..so I’m not a backpacker’s ingrown toenail..but I AM living my own adventures!

Monday, 19 December 2005 Slack man! My hair dryer & straighteners don’t work. Well, they do, but what took 30-minutes in NZ & Russia takes 2 hours here! A measly 110 volts from the electrical outlets is not enough..but I foolishly persevered. Now I have frizzy fried hair !

Tuesday, 20 December 2005 Found an apartment; the landlord, Alberto, is a honey. We rolled up our sleeves & cleaned the place together. He cracked up when trying to communicate & make the observation that I’m a speedy worker. We made a deal; he’ll learn English, I’ll learn Spanish, then we can talk to each other.
He’s given me beds, linen, lounge & dining furniture, cutlery & crockery. He bought me pots, sharp knives, cooking utensils, a blender, & a fridge. How’s that for a beauty landlord?!
Rene brought wine to celebrate my new home & adventure.

A slightly uneasy sleep, but thrilled to be in a ‘home’ at last.

Next installment..Prue the happy homebody, hostess, & party-girl! Yeah, a brief foray into days of old.

Wednesday, 22 November 2006

Siberian Adventure - December 2005 - It's All Over

Thursday, 01 December 2005 Uh-oh! I don’t think I have enough bags for my gear!

I’m starting to get itchy & scratchy now. My New Zealand travel agent is being a pain! I leave Surgut tomorrow & I still don’t have a date or itinerary for departure from Moscow.

Shopping day today; farewell gifts to be bought.

Final drinks with Mark, I felt lousy. He cried.

Friday, 02 December 2005 Today’s the day. Final cleaning & packing. I was right yesterday; there’s not enough room in my bags for everything.
As fast as I gifted surplus to people, they gave me something in return. Nightmare!
Bags finally closed with some encouragement from me sitting on them, collected by ‘Misha’s replacement’s replacement’, & it’s time to go.
Nelly was going to come to the airport with me, but due to too much luggage & the need for 2 men to help me with my bags, there was no room in the car for her. Sad scene; she cried & shook & had to be helped away. I on the other hand was bundled into the car & given no time to dwell; chatter, chatter, question, question, question, went the boys while I discretely mopped my tears & sniffed between answers & conversation.
At the airport, I was stopped at the first security check..”ah, the questionable mass in that bag is jewellery; in the bumbag is 500 roubles in coin..sorry, I didn’t mean to stockpile. Uncomfortably heavy, but I’m sure Moscow will deplete it as quickly as possible!”
The boys decided I must have my bags shrink wrapped because they’re “unusual & interesting”. Want to guess how much my luggage weighed? 52 KG’S! Only 4kg’s off my own weight; ridiculous! Dispatched to pay for my excess, when I returned to collect my passport I was summonsed to a private room. Accelerating heart beat (please say I’m not going to be strip-searched..I couldn’t stand it!), I merely had to reassure them that my hairdryer was not an AK-47 in drag.

The true Siberian Adventure is over. It’s been a blast! An experience of a lifetime, one I wouldn’t trade for anything, but I’m now tranquil it’s come to a close. It’s done me the world of good; I’ve achieved all I had hoped, & more besides. Lots of lessons learned too! My only regret is that I didn’t get to see more of the country; however with the friends I’ve made, I’m confident that if I want to return to Russia, there’ll be plenty of sponsors to help me in.
Now it’s time to ease my way back towards a more ‘comfortable’ lifestyle. Mexico will present huge cultural & emotional challenges as well; it remains to be seen which will be the toughest..accepting & acceptance of the locals vs. my expat colleagues. I think I’m most afraid of the expat factor! I AM looking forward to having a kitchen & the healthier diet that comes with it.

Friday, 02 December 2005 An uneventful flight until the end, when we couldn’t land. We made several false starts, & circled plenty of times. No such thing as a reassuring message from the pilot, we were left to knot stomachs & swap concerned looks. I still don’t know what the problem was, but clearly it wasn’t a 'major' as I’m writing to you now from Moscow.
Alex was waiting for me, bless his cottons. Not just waiting, but he actually sweet talked security into letting him through to the arrival area so he could help me get my bags off the carousel. Not a trolley to be found for love nor money, we staggered our way outside to wait for our taxi.
Finally back to Alex & Olya’s, dinner eaten, & we all fell into bed.
Their apartment consists of a bathroom/laundry, kitchen, & living room/bedroom. Sergei sleeps in a high bunk at the end of the living room, Alex & Olya sleep on the couch, & I sleep on a camp stretcher in the kitchen.

Saturday, 03 December 2005 Up & about early; Alex took Sergei to have a tooth removed, Olya & I made bliny & chatted via the computer translator.
Alex & Sergei arrived back home, Sergei took to the couch & tv, & the ‘big people’ went out.
My 1st experience riding the underground..I’m sure it’s a drag to do it everyday, but I had a ball! It took about 90-minutes to get into Moscow Central.
Destination: Red Square & the Kremlin.
Unfortunately the Kremlin was closed, but if we want we can go back tomorrow & view Lenin in all his dead, embalmed & waxed, yet decomposing glory.
We went into a necrypt..beautiful Orthodox paintings & icons, the place is home to rows of copper coffins, the earliest dated back to 1356.
Alex & Olya were beside themselves..Alex decided to queue hop & play his trump card..”I have a guest from New Zealand, can we go straight in to the royal museum?”, & away we went. Not just the museum without queuing, my presence brought an awesome bonus..we were allowed to enter the ‘Diamond Fund’. OH MY GOD!!!!! Jewellery, crowns, tiaras, ornaments, gifts from foreign countries, all once belonging to the Tsars & Tsarina’s of Russia. One of the stones was 130 carats! FLIP!!! Sadly, cameras & cell phones are not allowed so I can’t show you, but if you ever get the chance …
All through the Diamond Fund & the Museum Alex & I often separated, either one of us ‘piggy backing’ a guided group so we could report amazing information back to each other.
Out on the street again, & I was treated to the sight of a couple of babushka’s having a spectacular cat fight. Dunno who did what to whom, but there were walking sticks flying & hell to pay!
A HUGE day, I was very pleased to get back home, eat dinner, & fall into bed again.

Sunday, 04 December 2005 We decided to give Lenin a miss today (praise be to global Sunday lie-in’s!), & went to Queen Ekaterina’s park & palace, that she visited just the once. The palace was bombed during WWII, & only now they've started repairs.
Another long underground trip; most people either sleep or read on the way. End of the line, we zoomed along to get back up to ground level, & encountered a dead bloke along the way. The police had already arrived & were going through his pockets trying to find out who he was. “It’s life, Prue” said Alex, without breaking stride.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know, I’ve seen it in NZ, but usually there’s a crowd of on-lookers. In Moscow, nobody has the time or interest to stop and give a second glance!
A really cold day, my camera spent most of the time tucked into Alex’s jacket trying to keep warm so I could snatch some pics occasionally.
I unwittingly created a bun fight in the craft gallery. Trying to make right change for admittance, I put my docs onto an empty table next to the cashier so I could reach the bottom of my pouch & dig out coin. Oh, no, no, no! Never, never put anything on an empty table next to THIS cashier! She had a hissy fit, Alex told her to pull her head in, & things deteriorated from there. In the meantime, I was blissfully unaware & still rummaging for change. The 1st I knew of the problem, was when we were joined by a senior woman & a security guard. What? WHAT? Ooops!
We hailed a troika for the trip back to a café, where Sergei promptly launched himself into a pile of food bigger than him. His distress over horse poo obviously didn’t interfere with his appetite.
Next stop: a huge market, mainly specialising in electronics. A cell phone for Sergei was the reason.
And home, dinner, bed.

Monday, 05 December 2005 Work for Alex & Olya; Sergei stayed home with me because he said his school had a health day off. It seems he may have been telling porkies because at around 3pm he started watching out the windows; sure enough school bag laden kids started trudging by & he went out to play.
Once he’d returned, he escorted me to the mall to purchase supplies for dinner..little man! He was so proud & important ordering the keepers to give us ‘this, that, & the other’, & they all thought he was pretty special too!
I’ve declared myself chief cook & bottle washer while I’m staying to give Alex & Olya a break..both from daily chores, & from me. They get to spend time together in the living room while I 'quietly' crash about in the kitchen. Olya keeps feeling guilty & I keep reassuring her it’s my pleasure to cook after 10-months of ‘5-minute noodles just add water’ & sammies. And it's the only way I'm going to be able to ensure I repay them for all the 'princess treatment' they've afforded me this year. Admittedly the kitchen is rudimentary, but it’s heaven compared to a coffee table & bathroom sink.
Honey & orange chicken with mashed potatoes tonight. Very embarrassing..I wolfed mine down, beating everyone else for the 1st time since I arrived in Russia.

Tuesday, 06 December 2005 Damn, damn, damn! I’ve succumbed to ‘acclimatisation illness’..a cold.
Solo excursion to the mall for supplies today, feeling anxious after reading so much about how rude Muscovite service is. 8 fruit & veg stalls to run past, all aggressively vying for custom, I diplomatically bought an ingredient from each, & worked out which 2 will get my roubles for the rest of my stay. All were nice..apparently Kiwi's can melt even the hardened hearts of Muskovites!

Pelminy (tortellini) & a huge Kiwi/Oz style salad for dinner. I can’t believe I found white balsamic vinegar here..eat your hearts out Kiwi’s, unless it’s available in New Zealand now. If not, next time you pop into Oz or Moscow, grab a bottle. Take a bottle of regular black balsamic (drool), soften & intensify it at the same time (pass the handi-towels, a bib won’t do!), & you have white balsamic. Jumbo-yumbo!
I was pushed into bed all but rattling & sloshing after the cocktail of tablets, teas, effervescent drinks, & finally a lemsip type thing..I was assured I’d be a box of fluffies in the morning.

Wednesday, 07 December 2005 The box of fluffies missed the flight!
I think Olya told me I’m off kitchen duty tonight because she’s making borsch. I think. I know she said “borsch.”
Alex checked my emails for me this morning, & my travel agent still hasn’t answered my questions, choosing instead to ask for my confirmation of flight back to NZ. This has been going on for almost a month now, & ‘seething’ doesn’t even come close to describing me today.

I went out for some fresh air & sanity, though I didn’t make it far what with crappy weather & crappier health; The Mall.
I dunno, maybe it’s the luck of the draw, maybe expats need to take a good look at themselves, or maybe it’s a bit of both, but again I was treated with warm hospitality & care everywhere I went. The herb woman watched me sniff & inspect each bunch, made me taste everything to be sure I was getting what I wanted, & recommended some ‘grass’ to cure my sneezes. The veg man was stroppy when I made the mistake of choosing my OWN potatoes, until I apologised & said I was from NZ..”Wow! Lardna! Do what you want! Come & wreck my proportional displays anytime you like! Here, have an extra spud!” The fruit & salad lady helped me choose the best persimmons, then gave me some freebies to enhance herb-woman’s curatives. It’d be easy to pass these off by thinking “they've probably overcharged me in the first place”, but you know what? They don’t..I’ve checked my bills against Alex's & Vadim’s.
A perfect example: on the 3rd floor of the mall is a ‘Farmers’. The security bloke at the top of the escalator wouldn’t let me take my newly purchased suitcase through, so I had to deposit it under a Christmas tree & in his care. I was more than a little concerned as I wended my way through this maze of a store that I bumped into my case keeper at every other turn..& NO, my compass wasn’t broken! On the 4th meeting he tried talking to me..returning 10-minutes later with a scrap of paper on which someone had written for him “Can I help you?” Ooooooooh! xxxx He continued to track me, deflected the horror of the ‘kiddies shoes aisle’ woman when (gag) slippers caught my eye, & once I arrived at the checkout with 'slippers' (suffice to say I hate slippers, so the label is used loosely) he then took it upon himself to introduce me to the checkout chicky, explained my ‘handicap’ (English; no Russian), & therefore ensuring gorgeous smiles & patience. AND my new suitcase was still under the tree, unmolested & guarded by a newby security bloke. Honestly, I could happily wrap up every Russian that’s done this sort of thing for me & bring them home..excess baggage charges, immigration issues Prue!
I wandered into McDonalds..the 1st Golden Arches I’ve seen since the beginning of Feb when I was last in Moscow. I took a look at the menu (fab, I could read it; bizarre, not translated into Russian [I expected to see “Balshoye Mac”], just ‘Big Mac’ spelled in Russian Cyrillic. It smelled just as bad as in NZ so I wandered back out & went to buy fruit. My fruity friend held my hand today, asked my name, & gave me some free grapes.

Yep, it WAS supposed to be borsch for dinner, but in true stereotypical male form, the boys couldn’t wait, so it was fried leftover pelminy & salads. Not bad actually.
Major, major, major ructions in the household tonight, & I’ve been the catalyst. Sergei has been a bad, bad boy, the tip being exposed by my questions about his school & its hours. Sergei is a serious wagger, & further investigation revealed his class marks are ‘2’ (or ‘D’ for ‘Doh!’)
Borsch made anyway, ready for tomorrow night.
Bed.

Thursday, 08 December 2005 I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED! I HAD A BIG MAC, LARGE FRIES, & A COKE FOR LUNCH! It smelled bad; it tasted bad; it hit the bottom of my belly like there were no sides; I looked for Chicken Royale ‘to go’. Stoopid junk food junkie! Nah … yeah … maybe … ok, I like the option to say ‘No’, don’t you?!

Oh yeah! Olya’s borsch is fabbo! Gunna travel & settle with this recipe.

I tried to suggest to Alex that I should move into a hotel for the brief remainder of my stay in Moscow. He anticipated the call & assured me I’m both welcome & needed for as long as I can stay. I appreciate their perspective, but I don’t want to be their ‘Kiwi Narc’ or Sergei's foreign school attendance & good behaviour monster.

Friday, 09 December 2005 Salmon in white wine planned, & prepared (by me), & postponed (by Olya) in favour of a quick bowl of borsch, a bottle of Chinese peach wine, & a bottle of Chinese greengage wine (TGIF celebration); no probs, I’m a good time party girl. In the interest of perspective..I can ‘take or leave’ salmon (preferably ‘leave’), I LOVE wine..it’s gotta be serious when my tastebuds say “we want the salmon!”
It was a fabulous evening though. One glass of the peach wine down, Alex & Olya were glowing, a glass of the greengage wine had Olya passed out on the couch. It’s important to note at this point the alcohol level was LOW, & these 2 glasses were consumed over 3-hours! In between times, there was endless grazing on salads & fruit, & hilarious conversations about the British royal family.

Saturday, 10 December 2005 We’ve eaten so much today I want to explode. Scrambled eggs & smoked sausage for breakfast, for lunch my salmon & salad plus other salads, cuttlefish & mashed potato, plus fruit, Alex & Olya wanted torte to follow but I couldn’t manage it. Sweets & fruit in the afternoon, mashed potato, salads…can’t remember what else. Oh yeah, that's right, pickled pigs ears! Honest! It's like eating really thick servings of uncooked bacon rind; and you can hear each others teeth grinding through every mouthful.

Sunday, 11 December 2005 Looked out the window & saw a dachshund going for a walk, all dressed up in his woolly jumper. Two things immediately came to mind..the old, old joke about male dogs, short legs & snow, & ‘peter heaters’ or ‘willy warmers’. I couldn’t see from where I was, but I sure hope he was wearing one because his belly was definitely dragging in the snow!

Vadim came to collect Sergei & me to take us to the Moscow Zoo. A bit of an anti-climax because most of the animals have been sent south for the winter, not to mention the set-up is a couple of decades behind the times, with animals locked in tiny cages & rapidly going insane.
Sergei delivered back home, I was kept for the night, taken to an awesome banya complex, & introduced to Vadim’s friends who’d tried to settle in Aussie earlier in the year.

Monday, 12 December 2005 Vadim took me into town to arrange my flights. PANIC! Two choices; fly 7am tomorrow..Moscow, Zurich, New York JFK, Mexico City, arriving in Aguascalientes 11:30am Wednesday local time (Thursday Moscow time), or stay put in Moscow until after Christmas. Flights are fully booked.
I’m flying in the morning.
Back to Alex & Olya’s around 8pm. All hell broke loose. Sergei’s teacher phoned to say Sergei hasn’t been to school for a couple of weeks. Olya was in tears, Alex was white with fury & worry, Sergei was cool, calm, collected, unrepentant, & keeping a secret.
I took a cab to Domodedovo Airport at midnight (5am Surgut time). Before I left, taxi waiting, Alex asked me to sit for a few minutes..Russian tradition for a good/safe trip..we 3 sat on my bags. He made me promise I’d come back if Mexico proves too dangerous. Hugs & tears from us both before I climbed into the cab.

Too early to check in, I wandered around for a couple of hours, sat in a bar & had a couple of glasses of wine, a couple of buckets of water, & some heavy, greasy food that turned my stomach. Still too early to check in, I hit the wall & tried to grab some shut-eye, which failed because some bloke started scrabbling at the bag I was using as a pillow. I’m sure the entire airport heard my furious, on-the-brink “HEY!” He should’ve vapourised from the look I gave him, but no, his gobful of gold teeth deflected the heat, he lay down & went to sleep. STEAMING, no sleep after all for me, I roamed (writer’s licence..more like stumbled) the airport until check-in.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005 There was a problem with my hand luggage. Weight a problem, & I had too many bags. Backpack with lappy & clean undies for 4 days, cosmetic bag with makeup & shampoo, & a disturbing bag filled with mags & hats. I tried logic, pointing out my itinerary (hence the need for my cosmetic bag), & reasoning that styley hats just can’t be shoved into a suitcase. No empathy from the check-in chick, the nice supervisor girly understood & let me get away with it all.
This time no-one wanted to check my lappy, & I didn’t have to take my shoes off or wear plastic bags on my feet. I did have to stand in a ‘tardus’ though..”put your feet exactly on those painted feet”. No condoms loaded with amphetamines detected in my belly, I was allowed through.
About 30 minutes before 7:10am, & 22-odd-hours since I last lay in a bed ... “Calling all passengers for flight 1325 to Zurich …”

THE SIBERIAN ADVENTURE IS OVER

Siberian Adventure - November 2005

Tuesday, November 01, 2005 Furious Nelly today. She arrived at my bedroom to tell me her timetable was changed for the day, & so she was ready for me to join her for lunch immediately. On track to meet her at the original time, I was not ready enough to join her right then (had to pull on tracky’s & a t-shirt before opening the door!) Her fury was exacerbated by my refusal to allow her into my room while I dressed properly, did my hair & face.
Enough’s enough! I’m not going back to having a daily audience of Nelly, Vasily, & sundry students while I go through my morning routine.

I charged outside later in the day to try & take some good photos of the snowstorm (unsuccessful, it looked more like rain..ho-hum); on the way back in I stopped to collect & sign for classroom keys. As I was fossicking for the key register & a pen I heard my name; Yvgeny! My summertime security boy who’d pretended to watch the DVD’s I gave him while really going through my photo files. Reciprocal warm greetings, his new work’s going well, Vyka’s good, & then he proceeded to translate my ‘key needs’ to today’s new ‘security bloke’.
There must’ve been some further explanation after I left cos the new bloke was much friendlier, & even smiley with my subsequent passes through.

E-mail from Vadim; work’s good, had to shift flat (2 bedrooms, US$600 per month, sooo expensive!), son’s doing well at school, art classes, & karate, I Miss You!
Ooooh, I miss him too! He was so much fun to talk to.

Harrowing Elementary lesson tonight; it’s a term-end break for the school kids, so it was just me & Valentina. This woman has had an AWFUL life! What she told me tonight goes a long way towards explaining her ‘oddness’. I’m glad we had this session; I’m going to plan a couple of lessons focusing on her specifically, & if I can be sure the girls won’t show for the rest of the week it’ll be good.
Valentina wanted to know if there’d be a lesson on Friday, cos apparently it’s a holiday. 7 November used to be a holiday to commemorate the October Revolution (changing from the Julian calendar to the Gregorian one meant celebrating in November). 2005’s the 1st year that 7/11 isn’t a holiday, & also the 1st year that 4/11 is, but no-one seems to know what the occasion is! Good grief!
I gave her the choice; lesson as usual, lesson earlier in the day, lesson on a Saturday. Bless her, she’s voted for an early lesson. If Lena’s similarly disposed, I have a Guy Fawkes party to attend on Friday night.
I really HATE Guy Fawkes! In the interest of an early work finish, & the opportunity to meet some other English speakers I’m prepared to compromise my principals & face my fears.

Alex arrived..thankfully without Olya’s cat! I have a few days grace; he will leave for Moscow probably next Monday.
In the last 15-minutes of his visit he told me he’s no longer going to speak to me in English, it’s all Russian from now until Monday! ‘Tough-love’ time Prue!
Yeah right! I pleased him with my ability to grab the basics of what he said, but he’s a softy & too easy to divert back to English. The habit of 9-months is hard to break!
He suggested we go out on Friday, & I invited him to Guy Fawkes. For now, he’s keen, but come Friday I know he’ll have cold feet & bail. It’s a shame, cos I’d love to have him there! Add Vadim, & I’d be a pig-in-poo with my 2 favourite boys!

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 Tough atmosphere today; everyone’s drooping with lousy headaches, & I’ve got 3 beauty bruises already from banging into doorframes again.

Tatiana Vasilievna laid eyes on me today & gave me much the same treatment that Ludmila gave the other week; you’re leaving soon, I don’t want you to go, promise you’ll come back!

Nelly asked the new security bloke this morning if he knew about ‘the New Zealand woman’ here. He smiled & made a small shape with his hands. She thought it was hilarious & couldn’t wait to tell me.

No sign of Lena tonight, she’s got the flu, so I snatched 40 winks while waiting for Alex.
I invited him to join Mark & I at ‘Guns’ (which actually turns out to be ‘Hans’..Russian pronunciation has had me fooled for months) & he leapt at the opportunity. While he & I were waiting for Mark to arrive, Alex’s former boss phoned. Alex explained he couldn’t meet him because he was out with his English teacher..”blah, blah, Novai Zealandia, blah, blah, blah”, & I cut in & suggested his ex-boss could join us. A couple of phone calls later, Alex had the giggles & said he didn’t know why, but his ex-boss wanted to come.
So, we had an interesting night. I was worried to start with cos Mark came out all guns blazing & furious over Biometric passports (my fault, I brought the subject up cos I think they’re a great idea!) He calmed down finally, but I was further embarrassed by some of his thoughtless comments about Russian culture throughout the evening. I encouraged Mark to perform Scottish & Irish accents, he chipped in with his impersonation of Queen Elizabeth; Alex nearly wet himself over them, & needed me to ‘translate’ what was said. So no real damage done in the end, Alex invited Mark, Yuri, & I to eat & drink on Sunday. Alex was fascinated listening to Yuri speak English; although he knew Yuri could, they’ve never conversed in English together before. Alex had assumed that Yuri was an ‘expert’. NO WAY! Alex is waaaay better, & had to make occasional translations! I offered to give Yuri lessons, & he’s keen, but he works 28 days on - 28 days off & is only in Surgut when he’s not working, so probably by the time he hits town again I’ll be about to fly out. Bummer! We made quite a good group; sometimes all involved in the same conversation, then taking turns at talking in pairs. It’s the most ‘natural’ outing I’ve had since my arrival.
Time to leave ‘Hans’ & I only had a small row with Alex about who would pay given I’d already told him it was my shout as he was MY guest tonight. He was upset that I was paying for Yuri as well, but as I reminded him, Yuri was there only because I’d offered for him to join us. There’ll be hell to pay on Sunday!
Out on the street, I farewelled all cos they live in the opposite direction; uh-uh I had 3 blokes determined to walk me home. Mark lost the battle & was dispatched by Alex & Yuri, I lost the battle & was walked home by these 2 lovely Russian gentlemen.
A little skiddy underfoot, I had a small accidental slide at the same time as Yuri took a deliberate one. No probs. A bit further on I had another slide, & both guys grabbed a hand each. Once past the ‘danger zone’ Alex let go cos he’s used to my independent streak, but Yuri wouldn’t, & short of roughly shaking my hand as you would if a crab had a grip, I couldn’t get him to let go. Once we rounded the corner his hold tightened..”This is a bad area, you mustn’t walk here alone!” I told him it’s ok, no-one’s bothered me, I walk here all the time. “No, hooligans live here! You must never walk alone in this place!” Tough baby, I have no choice! Actually this area is fine; the area opposite my room..NO WAY would I walk over there at night, that’s where all the yelling, screaming, & sometimes gunshots come from.
At the Planeta gates, Yuri was confused. “This is a university!” Yes. “But we’re taking you home!” Yes, you have. “You live here? At the university? And this is where you work as well?” Yes. Yet another staggered local.

That's that week over and done with; the next will follow quickly on its heels..funnily enough!

… impromptu audition for the Russian Federation Ballet Company …

I deliberately held this message over for a week cos so much was up in the air & liable to change. I could’ve sent an edited version on time, but it’s a pain & too time consuming to go back & clarify events a week later. Also, it’s important for me to keep a true diary.
Finally, in the immortal words of Nickleback..”…something’s gotta go wrong, cos I’m feeling way too damn good!”

Thursday, November 03, 2005 Stinking hot inside again with the heating ramped up to combat the outside cold, I worked in my office with the door wide open wearing just a summer tanktop. With every stranger that came to ask me for information, I only had time to turn around & say “Izvenye-“ before they backed out apologizing because they immediately understood I’m ‘fourijin’..self-respecting Russians are clad in singlets under shirts under sweaters (pfew, & that’s the truth), & for the women, ‘delicious’ crocheted shawls on top, in spite of the +25C & climbing indoors temp. People are getting whiffy again.
One of the ‘scenes’ in Planeta’s promo video for visiting schools shows a Planeta graduate, now banker, interviewing a woman applying for a loan; she’s wearing a fur coat. I originally thought it was either a ‘wardrobe’ mistake or a ‘discrete’ message that only the wealthy can afford credit. Nope, the truth is you keep all your kit on & sweat it out, unless you’re settling in for several hours or you’re a ‘fourijina’!

Whew, scary teaching day today. My young girlies turned up only to tell me they can’t come for lessons anymore because they have to prepare whatever cultural crafts they’ll exhibit, & performance rehearsals every night from now until March for a Russian Federation cultural competition in Moscow. The twins were upset, & Helen was crying. I offered to give them a lesson every Sunday if they can make it; Helen’s keen, the twins will talk to their mum. I doubt they’ll come because they’re all devout Orthodox Church girls, & let's face it, everyone needs at least one day off a week. Thank goodness I got their photo the other day!
So that leaves me with just Valentina for the Elementary lesson.
The Intermediate group has dwindled to just Olga tonight. Irene’s current work shift has prevented her from coming. Airat & Gulnara are absent because her mum’s visiting for the 1st time in 10-years. Elena & Vitaly have disappeared at last. Natasha is on holiday abroad. No sign of Alexander after his holiday; the later class time & only 2 lessons a week didn’t suit him, & I think he struggled with the demise of our summer 1:1 lessons.
Vasily’s going to have a fit when I tell him on Monday! I may be heading out sooner than I planned!

Nelly’s been ‘out-of-sorts’ &, frankly, bizarre for a couple of weeks now; I’m beginning to wonder if it’s more than just her age, normal jealousy, & escalating panic over me leaving. Her English is deteriorating rapidly, Russian eludes her at times, she’s becoming uncomfortably aggressive & irrational, claims her health is up & down, suddenly matching my own stomach complaints. Could it be she’s showing signs of Alzheimers? More often than not, when she speaks to me, she sounds like she’s ‘tanked’. I don’t believe she’s drinking, so I wonder if she’s had a small stroke. I’m trying to be patient because I love her to bits & I’m concerned about her, but she’s taxing my reserves. If I knew for sure it was a medical condition I’d be better able to tolerate what’s being dished out, but she can be such a manipulative bat I don’t fully trust her.

I’m looking forward to the next 3 days. Tomorrow I’m the only one working because of the holiday & I’ll be finished shortly after 5pm; Saturday everyone’ll be working, I’ll be free & plan to make myself scarce; Sunday is almost all my own as well. I hope the weather’s kind to me, but the forecast isn’t too promising with expected HIGHS of -10C & wind chill of -8C. I don’t even want to think about the projected lows. The temperatures don’t worry me, it’s the wind that’s the killer! I want to go to the forest on Saturday where I saw the chipmunk in summer, this time with camera in hand & hoping for even just one special wildlife pic.

Friday, November 04, 2005 1st lesson scheduled for 2pm, I thought I had plenty of time to get ready; WRONG! The last 5 of this week’s Chelyabinsk teacher neighbours departed this morning, but they have this amazing tag-team thing happening for the bathroom (I mentioned it in my previous message), & as I’m flying solo I don’t stand a chance of getting in there ‘til they’ve all finished. That’s ok, but hot on their heels came the overnight guests for tonight’s wedding; another tag-team, though marginally less adept, I was able to snatch the bathroom 45-minutes before lesson time, to their distress & my relief!

Guy Fawkes do: what a dag! I could change my lifetime hatred of private fireworks parties. Sod-all fireworks, but the few brought were cool..love those sparklers, always have! Even better, the ‘crowd’ were more interested in playing ‘childish’ snow-games. Split into 2 teams we had individual hopping races (won by the good guys), ‘doubles’ hopping races (the bad-guys cheated by running interference), snow sprints (good guys victorious again), & tobogganing on plastic shopping bags down the riverbank & onto the now frozen Symer river. Not just hi-jinx, these games were essential cos it was FREAKING COLD! Memories of the ‘Student’s Sports Day’ way back at the beginning of my adventure, I had aching frozen toes early on due to sinking into the soft snow. My fingers froze pretty quickly too, but they received regular thawing over the ‘next-best-thing-to-a-bonfire’ big Russian BBQ (Mark calls it a ‘mangarl’ (sp?) if that means anything to anyone), & finally by grabbing a spud that had been burnt to a cinder..not for eating, a nice little ‘hotty bottle’. The 3 cups of mulled wine, spaced at 1-hour intervals helped heaps too! Mark’s a lucky guy, his colleagues are a fantastic crew; I can’t understand how Jenny could’ve been miserable. They’ve invited me to join every excursion planned for Mark between now & when I leave, that’s one every weekend!
Yes, I’m fully aware of my propensity for ‘love at 1st sight’ & all too often subsequent disappointment, however, for every 5 pains I meet, the 6th seems to be worth the trouble, & so I’m not inclined to change!
Only the one photo for you, my camera gave up the ghost in the cold weather pretty quickly, in spite of being shoved inside my jacket. After 3-hours of indoor heat I’ve just grabbed it again & it’s still really cold, poor little baby! Hopefully I’ll get copies of everyone else’s pics, & there’ll be something worth sending or showing later.

Saw your doppelganger again, Andy Paterson. We queued for 3 sets of traffic-lights together; while still intrigued, I didn’t feel the need to ‘stalk’ him today. It’s still weird seeing him though!
On the way to the party I received my 1st Russian wolf-whistle..a funny sound, it’s a combination of whistle & husky ‘throat ho-o-o-o-ot/rrrrriaow’. Hahahahaha! Yay, go the rosey cheeks from freezing weather; they must counteract the ugly beanie look!
In contrast, on the way back home, a carload of young guys came gunning along the road; heavy traffic zooming with the green light, red for the boys & summer tyres on, I was positive I was about to witness a nasty accident. They escaped by the skin of their teeth, & had reversed to a safe-ish spot when I got the green to walk. The driver decided to reverse a bit more without looking just then, & almost hit me. I dodged, slapped their boot with my hand, & received a tongue-lashing for my trouble as I reached the safety of the other side of the road. I turned, grinned & waved them down to calmness, & stalked off.
Two things occurred to me on my way down the road unscathed; 1) 9-months ago & even more recently I’d’ve been too scared to openly confront like this, 2) there’s nothing like a confident walk & some poise to give yourself assurance when you want to scare off nit-wits, no words required at all! I wasn’t about to let anyone see that inside I was thinking “Woops, shouldn’t’ve done that!”
Best part though, my heart didn’t pound at all; hoo-ooo-oooo-eeeeeeee, I’m strong (almost dented their boot), I’m brave (3 cups of mulled wine), I’m assertive (1 shot of cognac), I’m independent (no-one to walk me home tonight), I’m astute (thought that car might back up some more), all this & I’m still a soft-touch as well (cursed cats)! Oh, & alive & unpunched! By no means bullet-proof, I do feel 10’ tall tonight! Happy, happy, joy, joy; picture Snoopy bounding, sinking, digging victoriously out from bottomless snow drifts, with challenging continents still to visit & conquer, but feeling sure of ultimate success. Perky ears & bright eyes, that’s me! Yeah alright, the eyes are glassy from drinks & cold air, & the ears are frozen stiff..but still…!

Saturday, November 05, 2005 Housework day again; Possum’s as mad as a snake! Rather than scooping out the clumped ‘nasties’ from her dirtbox, I ditched the lot & gave her a ‘fresh start’. No longer a dirtbox, it became her sandpit & she played happily in it for hours.
I’ve gotta say, I don’t do dirtboxes; they’re DISGUSTING! I didn’t realise how many times a day cats need to pee & poo! If I ever find myself permanently living where a cat can’t go outside at will, I’m not going to have a cat! More importantly, I think it’s cruel to keep a cat cooped up inside!

Current ‘old-lady’ neighbour (she’s spent the last 2 days in her nighty) found me a captive audience today. Multiple visits throughout the day, ‘I’m sorry I don’t speak Russian’ each time with increasing frustration, I finally took a moment to think about it. If I was at home in NZ or Oz & found a non-English-speaking foreigner living in close proximity, I’d undoubtedly leave him/her to their own devices. This old lady was either terrifically lonely or was trying to save ME from loneliness. Hmmm, more food for thought; will this change my behaviour when I’m back on home territory?

No escape to the forest; it was an icky rainy dreary day, & no good for photos.

Mark’s shout tonight.
STOP! There’s no blossoming romance as far as I’m concerned. His invitations fill the gap when I feel like going out, & are helpful at the moment while I’m avoiding Nelly like the plague because my new personality won’t tolerate demands & bullying.
I took him to the Japanese restaurant at his request. Can you believe it? The closest he’s come to a Japanese meal is sushi from ‘Marks & Sparks’! So now he’s been introduced to miso soup, sashimi, & sake.
Next port of call, a billiard room. An exercise in mortification, we spent an hour trying to play one game of Russian billiards, & still didn’t finish, in spite of canning the few rules we’d managed to pick up from watching other players.
You start with 1 red ball & 16 white balls. The red is used to break, then you’re supposed to sink the red off a white. After that, there’s no designated cue ball, you pick & choose as the table presents itself. The 1st person to sink 8 white balls is the winner. Sounds easy? Get off! The table’s the size of a rugby field, the balls are HUGE, the pockets are TINY, especially at the cushion edge, expanding towards the outside edge of the table. The cues are heavy, & believe me, I like a heavy cue, but these are ridiculous; a crane would’ve been useful!
No chance of sinking the red early on, we agreed to treat the game as bastardized pool, & cowardly treated the red as the black. Then changed our own rules & used it as the cue ball. Finally, “to hell with it, smack any ball in the hope that something will go down!” The saving grace was that Mark was as crap as me.
The experience was made all the more excruciating by locals, drawn by our foreign speech, stopping to watch our pitiful progress; cruel!
I want to try my hand at this game again, but with a Russian coach next time, & probably with those training balls!
NEVER, NEVER, NEVER challenge a Russian to play a game involving a table with 6 holes, 17 balls, & a long stick that needs chalk applied to the end of it..YOU’RE GOING TO LOSE!

Sunday, November 06, 2005 Alex sent a text this morning saying he’d like to deliver Olya’s cat at 2pm. I was waiting outside for him & nearly split myself when I saw him waddling up the drive. Two enormous shopping bags in one hand, a canvas satchel in the other..”Where’s the cat Alex?” In the satchel of course!
No time for ceremonious introductions to his new room, cat & paraphernalia were dumped; Alex & I went off to ‘Extreme’. It’s like a sports bar, but with ‘silver service’; the waitresses wear trainers, little t-shirts, & littler knit skirts..mad!
We were in illustrious company; the biggest guys of Surgut, the University basketball team, & management. No William-from-Georgia, he obviously reached his use-by date, & no Andre because during summer he signed a better contract with the Ufa basketball team.
I HAD STEAK! My 1st one since January! Their version of rare is medium, but it was delicious anyway. And tender. And big. Not a menu item, they did it especially for me! Damn it tasted good & I’m sure my tummy will have no trouble digesting it cos my drool gave it a head start!
Alex’s big news: he flies to Moscow tomorrow morning at 7am. I took it well, we had our usual fab time, but when it came to say goodbye I didn’t cope. Big hugs & kisses, “Prue, you’ve changed my life, really!”, & the tears started so it was time to sprint inside.

Good grief! I unpacked the cat’s bags, he has more luggage than me! His name’s Monya, & he came with a fabric house/bed thingy, a scratching pole, 2 big bags of kitty-litter, his own bowl, a huge container of biscuits, & about 20 packets of wet food. What’s this at the bottom of the bag? 4,000 roubles. BLOODY ALEX!

Possum doesn’t understand the scratching pole concept, believing it’s something that needs to be gnawed to tatters.
Neither of the cats will use the house/bed thingy cos it’s been squashed flat on the trip to Planeta. Damn shame actually, cos so far Possum’s keen to welcome Monya, but Monya’s supremely ticked off with the world & only wants to growl at any & everything. It would be good for him to hibernate in that house/bed. I have a sneaking suspicion I’m in for about 5-minutes sleep tonight!

Additional distraction from my woes; my lovely new Planeta security-lady had a blinding headache & nothing to take for it. ‘Nurse Prue’ to the rescue ! I pumped panadene & orange juice into her, saw her settled in bed, & left a supply of tablets to see her through the night.

Monday, November 07, 2005 Do something for me will you?! Sift through your parent’s old vinyls (or maybe they’re yours) & pull out ‘Yellow Submarine’. Whack it on & when it comes to the chorus sing, “We’re all living in a brown & white slushy…”
The snow has melted over the last couple of days & it’s REVOLTING underfoot! The only respite from the yukky slushy snow are the spots where the slushy has run off & is now a slippery ice-block.
I had an impromptu audition for the Russian Federation Olympic Ice-Skating Team this afternoon. On my way back from buying loo paper, 2 packs of tissues, shampoo & conditioner, sticky girly hair stuff, lipsticks, & tights (the details are important!), a lumpy shopping bag in each hand, my left foot hit a slippery patch. “Woop!” as it skidded, & my right leg & both arms swung out for balance & control..bags rhythmically swinging about my head. Right foot finding terra firma..”Woop!” as I produced a mirror-image performance, all in the space of maybe 5-seconds! The casting panel’s faces told me they were seriously impressed by my performance, however they prefer their skaters don’t “woop” or break into solo fits of giggles. Darn! Back to teaching English.

A thoroughly nasty, abusive, & unfactual text message from Vasily this evening, & I’ve kind-of got him!
Whether Mayster acts on the report I’ve now written is up to him, but at least I have some evidence to support me if TESOL or future employers question my performance here in the event that Vasily chooses to cast aspersions in open forum.
It’s been a late night, sitting up writing, & rewriting this document, until I’m pretty sure all emotion has been removed. Mission completed, & the cathartic effect of getting ‘sh*t off my liver’, I’m ready for bed.

Tuesday, November 09, 2005 Yeah, well I was ready for bed, but the cats weren’t! Possum’s persistence won out; Monya stopped sulking under my bed, & they spent most of the dark hours ripping up & down the room, up & over table, desk, fridge, bed, dressing table, & all over again!

Little mini-melt-down today, asking Tatiana Petrovna about the cost of a farewell do here, & how much notice she requires.
It’s highly likely I’ll be leaving early December because Vasily’s refusing to pay me for my work in November. If I didn’t have the student’s money for November in my pocket right now, I’d be on the next flight out of here.
In light of this latest financial development I can ill-afford to blow much money, however I’m determined to say goodbye in Russian style, & show my gratitude & respect.
At worst/best, I’ve got 3-weeks left in Surgut; at best/worst, 5-weeks. Time to get my skates on!

Yuk! Yuk! Yuk! It’s a day for tears. I finally watched ‘Stepmom’ today in preparation for Valentina’s lesson. It took longer than the claimed time cos I had to keep stopping it to take a break while I mopped tears & pulled myself together again. Expecting the film to be a comedy, I was unprepared for it to be a tear-jerker. We didn’t discuss the movie much in the end, cos I was still too fragile.
OK, my homework is to watch ‘Little Buddha’ in preparation for Thursday’s lesson.
YAWN! Not my cup of tea! But I’m prepared.
Right, time for fun, Valentina’s also given me ‘Brother Bear’, an animated Disney film to watch. Cool!
WHAT’S THIS WOMAN TRYING TO DO TO ME? More tears! Sure, there were some humorous bits, & some good moral messages, but what’s with the rest? It’s been years since I watched ‘Dumbo’ & so the details are a bit vague, but I’m left with the same wretched feeling.
What happened to Mickey & Minnie Mouse, Donald & Daisy Duck, ‘Unca’ Scrooge, Huey, Duey, & Luey (sp?), Goofy, Pluto, & all that gang? You know, that lot that made us laugh over their stupid antics!
Bed: grapes & ‘Great Expectations’.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 Phew! Dunno whether the cats were settled last night, or I fell into an exhausted ‘coma’ (odd little hand wave over my mouth to catch the ‘evil’, then open hand & blow that ‘bad stuff’ away), but I clocked up some better sleep time.
Ahhhhh, there’s nothing like the sane outlook that comes from sleep.
Today I’ve awoken feeling peaceful again. I’m ready to leave Surgut, & I’m happy to do so. It’s time.

Poor little Possum. At some point in the last few days she’s irritated Monya so much that he must’ve imbedded a tooth or claw in her head. She’s a ‘pus-nut’! At the moment I’m treating her with Calendula oil for cleansing, & pawpaw ointment for healing. It’s worked for me, so here’s hoping…!

Nelly, having acted as interpreter for Tatiana Petrovna & me yesterday, has returned to her more balanced self today. I think the stress of an undefined end date has had a lot to do with her recent irritating behaviour. And probably I’m less prickly too for the same reasons.
So much so, that she asked me what’s going on & was able to sit & listen without interruption. At the end of it she offered to help me translate my report into respectable & clear Russian for Mayster, as well as acknowledging that I’m going to need some space to make my arrangements. We had a lucid discussion about whether I should recommend that she take over Vasily’s role as ‘host’ to foreign teachers. In spite of the challenges that come with Nelly, she’s a far better candidate for the job in my opinion. Unfortunately she doesn’t want the additional responsibility (humpf, it’d involve little more than she’s voluntarily done during every working day for me this year), so I’ll settle for writing her a commendation, & pass that on to Mayster.
The ‘word’ is out at Planeta that I’m making preparations to leave early, & everyone’s asking me why. Given my command of Russian remains slim at best, all I can tell them is Vasily’s angry with me. Nothing more required, they’re hell-bent on letting me know that he’s ‘gut’!

Ok! On to more frivolous things. How weird is this? This time last week, I was having a horrible sleepless night & feeling ‘over’ dressing for the cold, or like a ‘business woman’. I sent a text to B-S asking her to send my ‘little green dress’; the one I searched high & low for over several months, the one I only wore once, my ‘bye-bye NZ’ dress.
Yes, I hear some of you saying “Oh God! No!” for whatever reason you hated that dress..whether it was green, short, low-cut, or simply ‘not the Prue-look we’re used to!
Others will be saying “Oh God! Yes! It’s such a yummy dress! The Russian’s will love it!”
For me, I just wanted to have something ‘pretty’ in my wardrobe again. As it turns out it’ll be perfect & timely for saying ‘bye-bye Surgut’!

No longer living in a slushy..it’s turned REALLY cold; & so I’m living on a skating rink. Plenty of opportunity to train for the Olympic team now.

Thursday, November 10, 2005 Whacky do! Two very promising e-mails waiting for me today, falling just short of solid job offers, & I’m keen on both. Best of all, the preferred one was asking if I’m available before January. You betcha baby!
While I’ve been determined to honour my contract with Planeta, I can’t see any value in remaining ‘til the end of the year on reduced income if there’s a full-paying alternative. I may be a sucker, but I’m not completely stupid!
The down side of a rapid departure is that I’ll miss out on a beauty discount for booking a flight out of Surgut a month in advance, but the full price of a ticket is still lower than my earnings deficit, so it’s not all bad.
The ‘Siberian Adventure’ is looking like coming to a rapid close, not quite the way I’d expected it to, but no regrets!
If I play my cards right, I’ll be out of Surgut in a couple of weeks, spending a week in Moscow & St. Petes, a week in transit & resting, then into a new country & job by early-mid December. Cripes, it’s all go up here in the Northern Hemisphere!

Dmitri Mayster’s birthday today; I got to have wine, tea, & cake, flanked by a protective gaggle of Planeta chicks, none of whom speak English. No probs knobs, they chatted away & engaged me in meaningful eye-contact for an hour.
The one completely understandable conversation came from Mayster’s PA, she wants me to meet with her, Socrates 4 translator at the ready. I’m not sure what it’s all about, but she clearly doesn’t want Nelly or Vasily to translate.

Yesterday’s ‘REALLY cold’ has become today’s FREEZING! One brief venture outside without hat & scarf quickly produced a thumping headache & sore throat. Thankfully, the sore throat disappeared, but the headache has lasted all day & night & so I’m off to bed.

Lousy ‘black-ice’ patch in a slushy city!

Only 2 more messages from Surgut, then it's all over!

Friday, November 11, 2005 Hmmmm, dunno how I calculated the number of weeks per trimester way back then, but I screwed up by a few weeks huh! I’ve always said maths sucks! … or maybe I was hedging my bets?

How strange! (you'll find out why in a couple of days) I was given another DVD to watch, & decided to settle in last night to do so. It turned out to be ‘Bandits’.

Spooky power fluctuations over the last week, something obviously ‘gave’ last night. I finally accepted at 1pm today that there’s not going to be any hot water for showering. Brrr..BrrRRR..BRRRRRRR-EEEE-AAAAAAA-RRRRRRRR-GGGGGG-HHHHHHH! Nope, there’s no way I can last a second longer, let alone wash my hair!
“Ddddrrrrrrrrrr-chatter-chatter-chatter” went my teeth as I briskly toweled off, climbed into tracky gear, & sprinted back to thaw out by the heater..nya-uh, that’s gone cold too! Bummer-pyjama, I’ll just have to crank up the music & boogey my way into makeup, cosy clothes, & a pony tail! If ever I needed a reminder about why I shouldn’t go back to short hair while I’m traveling, this was it.
“Neeeeellllllyyyyyyyy! I need you to help me ask for hot water!”
No need to worry, the hot water will be back by tomorrow morning, the whole neighbourhood is without cos the pipes have blown.

The temperature today has swung from -3C at around 8am to -21C & all the way back to -3C by 9:30pm. What do you do? How can you know? Which coat/scarf/hat/boots combination to wear? How many layers of polyprops..none or all? What number of gloves?
Betwixt & between; I went out wearing my flat, super-warm & comfortable boots, but arguably it may have been wiser to wear the less warm ‘ice-picks’. I just can’t get my head around the wisdom of wearing ‘ankle-breakers’ in treacherous conditions. As for the rest? Who cares, suffice to say I was cold, but in no danger of freezing; I was hot, but in no danger of becoming stinky; neither was for long.

Skiddy-iddy trip to ‘Hans’ bar; I’m developing some style now, & I hope Mark is too, cos if he takes a fall he’ll shatter I reckon.
Bless his woolies; he’s suggested to Lingva Centre that they offer me a casual contract to tide them & me over if I don’t get a firm offer. Certainly, they need the help, but they’re understandably wary. Me too.

Skiddy-iddy trip back home, I pulled into a ‘dairy’ to grab some fags. Typical situation; woman server, & staunch bloke standing guard behind the counter. As I walked in, he produced a vicious scowl, which I returned in kind, followed by a grin. He was a bit taken aback.
“My name’s ??? What’s yours? ... Where’re you from? … (large eyes) Really? Are you alone? REALLY? How about you & me baby?”
“??? Oh! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NYET! NYET! NYET!
The best acquisition I made on Monday was a water pistol. Monya & Possum are developing a healthy respect for it. They’re both still intent on doing ‘bad stuff’, like who can leap the highest up the door frame & get a good grip on the wallpaper.
“It’s real cool fun Possum; I’ll showya how it’s done! Ready? Watch this! … Miahahahahahahaow, did you see the look on Aunty Prue’s face? ”
“Oooooh Monya, you’re soooo to die for! I love a bad boy! Lemme try. … Hey! I’m only little, ok?! Just you wait, I’ll be as good as you in no time … practice, practice, pra-pla-ak-ak...where did all that water come from?”
They now check to see if I’m looking & armed first. It’s my own fault it’s taken this long to ‘scare’ them..for the first 3-days all I could do was look on in paralyzed horror & gasp “What the … ?! Did I really see what I think I just saw?” Man, these cats can get some height! In a single bound, Monya gets purchase at the top of the doorframe! I must confess, I’m impressed! It’s also very funny, but not funny enough to be acceptable.
I returned to my room to find the map of Surgut no longer pinned to the wall. Obviously, with the door closed, they had to find a new target.
Stroppy wench tonight, gun & I had Monya & Possum settling for chewing on my heels, & 40-winks in swift fashion.
Quick, lights out! Into bed for me, before the kids wake up!
It’ll never happen! Turning lights out is like ‘disco time’ for these two.
With no neighbours this weekend, I tossed them into the common area, & left the 1st of my two doors open so they could get to food & drink. Wide open spaces, they were in heaven; room to myself, I was out cold.

Saturday, November 12, 2005 Aaaaaaaah! Peace, blissful peace! No wedding last night, no wedding today, the fact that I haven’t played any music at all is telling. Uncharacteristic behaviour, bordering on unheard of!

I got up to feed the cats, & hello, I only have Possum. Monya was obviously ‘kidnapped’ & presented to Anya for the day. From now on, Monya at least will live a free-ranging life at Planeta.
Possum will’ve been spurned cos her pus-nut exploded last night, not a pretty sight! It’s a positive development & I’m very relieved. She is too, she’s back to being the crazy/cuddly/crazy/loveya-gotta-climb-your-leg/crazy little girl of a week ago.
I tell you, calendula oil, & pawpaw ointment ROCK! Just as effective, & waaaaay cheaper than the 800 NZ notes I used to blow at the vet every time my Barlow tried to make friends with a scum-cat. He was worth every $1,000 spent (& there were a few), but if only I’d known about … never mind, I know now.

Hmmmmm, not much interesting ‘adventure’ news this week, it’s all become very androgynous (is it an acceptable word in this context?) Cats, friends, frustrations, ‘same stuff, different bucket’ stuff.
Probably some anecdotes to come about arranging internal travel, a few more weeks ‘til ‘Moscow-revisited’, then “outa-here dudes!”
Onto the next book of tales for my grandchildren & you, but no more weekly broadcasts; like you, I’m over them..ages ago!
I know, you’re thinking I’m unstable after all I’ve said about how much I’d love to stay, & now I’m saying I can’t wait to leave. I’m definitely over Planeta & I’m excited about the next place.

I DON’T GET MY ‘#2 FRUIT & VEG SHOP’ LADY’S CALCULATOR SKILLS! She’s a honey too, always giving me a welcoming smile, no matter where I am in the queue.
ANYWAY..she weighs up each of my purchases & has a running total on her calculator, so when I’m done she shows me what I have to pay. Easy? Nah! Today’s supplies came to 1,725 roubles (NZ$101) “FRIG, that’s OUTRAGEOUS,” I thought “I’ve gotta stop buying grapes a kg at a time, & avocado’s must have gold plated stones here!” I was 15 roubles short of making correct change so I tried to hand her 2,000 roubles..I know, I know, IknowIknowIknow..I was in shock, alright?! No, she got me to fan out my money, took 500 & something, & gave me 350-odd roubles change! A similar thing happened with her last week.
AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I’ve just realised, she doesn’t use a decimal point..doh; it was 172.50 roubles! WICKED! Still expensive for an avocado, a kg of black grapes, 2 tomatoes, & 2 telegraph cucumbers; extravagant but manageable. The avocado turned out to be the tastiest one I’ve had since my Te Puke life of so long ago.

We must have REALLY thin air today; I’ve been barely able to keep my eyes open..actually, that’s not true..I haven’t been able to keep my eyes open for more than 30-minutes at a stretch. Even sitting at my desk, reading or writing, I’ve continued to nod off; no mean feat I assure you. It’s not just me, the cats are abnormally sleepy too.

Sunday, November 13, 2005 Another very dozy day, but I was determined not to repeat yesterday’s zzz-athon.
Hit the streets, shopping for Kerell’s birthday present; an entertainment pack comprising a gorgeous Dumbo book, colouring-in book, crayons, colour pencils, water-colour paints, mandala-designer kit, & a spak A4 20 leaf plain-page exercise book for his own ‘creations’. Do you think I could find a scrap book? Not for love nor money! Sheer determination unearthed the plain exercise book..99% of exercise books are ‘graph-paper’ & used for writing.
Easy-peel pricing stickers haven’t made it to Surgut yet; it’s still firmly in the realm of ‘the top layer of packaging or book cover goes too’ or ‘leave a sticky dirt-magnet mess’, no ‘Citrus-Off’ to help.
A massive mall that’s been in construction-mode since my arrival has finally opened. It’s a first for Surgut; Western style with plate glass windows so you can actually SEE it’s a shop, & WHAT it stocks!
I went to have a peep, & Adidas gear has the entire ground floor.
The second floor has all sorts of yummy shops; chicks clothes, very sophisticated menswear, fur, hats & gloves (I’m not convinced I won’t be going back to score a cute little knitted ensemble with satin roses..ridiculously expensive though … FARK! No I’m not going back, I’ve just converted & there’s no way I’m shelling out NZ$230 for knitted hat & gloves, I don’t care how pretty or unique they are! Boohoo, but I REALLY, REALLY WANT them!), shoes (the boots! Oh wow, a girl could go wild! I particularly liked the lime green leather stiletto’s..though the lime green fur running up the side would have to go!), kitchen gadgets, electronics, & a styley cafe.
The 3rd level is wonderful! You step out onto the open roof, & have a choice of 4 other garret-like specialty shops, or looking out over the main street at the cars, people, shops, & lights, with a colourful round-about to your left, & the city’s founding-father’s monument & round-about to your right. All it needs is some romantic mood-music, & I can see lovers ‘in the first bloom’ taking a brief & impulsive sway. It’s what I’d do anyway..whether mall-management, or lover..it’s so pretty up there!
The entire place is crawling with security guys. Level 3’s a high spot for revisiting, camera primed, one night before I leave, definitely.

Walking back home, I followed a mama with her little pixie, all decked out in his/her snow-suit. They’re SOOOOOOOOO CUTE! They end up being as wide as they are tall; a whole new level of ‘duck-waddling’.

Return to Planeta, & the ‘Jubilee’ celebration for someone. I THINK jubilee means 50th, however Nelly also refers to hers & Victor’s 60th birthdays as jubilees; blowed if I know, & I’m not likely to have it reliably clarified until I hit Moscow.
A rather quiet gathering for the initial hours, it turned into a rocking Russian affair after 8pm, with some fabulous live performances of traditional singing & dancing, complete with heaps of masculine “Whoopah”s & farm-whistles..I love it when they do this! I really wanted to get down there, watch & pop off some pics, but I’m just not that cheeky or brave enough to impose. I did make one attempt to sneak a peek, but true to form, I chose the very time the performers took a break. STINK MAN! Just like cricket, & footy of every variety, I’m always watching/doing something else when the real action happens!

Monday, November 14, 2005 Well, well, well, well, well,well,well..7 holes in the ground! A ‘mixed-bag’ day.
Faced the day feeling ill..thumping headache & seedy belly; accumulated stress.
A small measure of cheer gained, I could read the lesson timetable for the next couple of days.

Revisited the new mall; the cute little knitted ensemble was calling. It’s ok, I didn’t buy it, but I did grab the prettiest beanie in the world, for a fraction of the price! COME ON! GIVE ME A BREAK! It’s a good replacement for the mink tea-cosy, it’ll definitely make it into NZ, & it’s still very ‘Russian’, it’s feminine, & it ‘suits’ me. Packs down to nothing too!
Bonus: when I told the Deyushka it was too big, she gifted me a liner for it..better fit for all hats now, & extra warmth!

I received my 1st piece of work for 60 Parallel; YEEHAAA!

Lunch over with Nelly, she suggested we visit Irina Anatolievna, the librarian.
“Why?” Nelly nurses a strong grudge against this woman, so I was at a bit of a loss.
Irina Anatolievna had asked Nelly to bring me to her because she wanted to give me a private farewell pressie..a hand embroidered & fringed long strip of fabric..made by her own Grandmother/Babushka as it turns out. ‘Babulya’ made it for Irina’s son’s wedding, & Irina now wants me to have it for MY son’s wedding. I’m unbelievably touched by this very personal gift. Big grippy hugs & kisses; she was thrilled by my appropriate Russian thanks, & of course I was thrilled by the gift.
You drape it over your hands & forearms, place a loaf of wedding bread onto it, with a dish of salt, & proffer it to the bride & groom who must each break off a piece of bread, dip it in the salt, & eat it (I’ve mentioned this tradition before).
What I’ve now been told is that the biggest chunk of bread signifies who’ll be the boss of the household. I wonder if Ben will agree to this wee ceremony when he gets married? If he does, & I love his bride sufficiently, I’ll have a whisper in her ear about how to get the biggest chunk. If I don’t, well I’ll be giving Ben lessons! Oh-so like a territorial mother, even I’m afraid!

Now, I know Irina Anatolievna has a soft spot for cats, so I asked if she would let me present her with one by way of thanks (conniving cow that I am). “Ooooooh, yes please!”
So now, Monya is safely delivered to a dependable & loving home.

One down, one to go; I wish Possum’s pus-nut would hurry-up & grow fur!

Bounding up to my office to e-mail the good news to Alex, Olya, & Sergei, I was halted by Lena, Mayster’s PA. Fab-O! My green dress has arrived! Even better, it still fits!..kind of! I’d forgotten how low-cut it is (amazing what confidence & excitement encourages a person to wear!), & with a few of the Russian mayo kg’s perched on my chest I’ll need to invest in some double sided tape to maintain still questionable decorum. Not sure Planeta’s ready to see this much of me, nor am I confident I want to show them ; a touch & go affair, it’ll depend on my mood on the day. Never mind, it’s good to have for future places & times once I’ve dropped some weight.

Post-lesson ciggie with Dmitri II, I descended from the last step onto the driveway, & I’m a Looney-Toons character … skidding, scrabbling, log-rolling feet, windmill arms on the go too, popping eyes, & a perfect ‘O’ mouth; out-of luck at last, I hit the deck in a spectacular way! Lousy ‘black-ice’ patch in a slushy city!
Dmitri frantically tried to catch me, & was most apologetic that he’s not sufficiently a gentleman to have done so..nit!
I wanted to brush the moment off, but Dmitri felt duty-bound to:-
1st: Check I really was ok (like I’d tell him, unless I had shattered bones poking out!)
2nd: Give me a lesson & demonstration on how to walk at this time of year (gotta keep those knees bent)
3rd: Practice some of his new words (fall, elbow, wrist, ankle, tail-bone, wound, blood, pain, sprain, bruise [all with a concerned frown] then, clumsy…hahahahahaha!)
“Yes, yes! You’re a genius AND a comedian, now light my bloody cigarette for me!
Back inside, & oh yay, Mr. Sayid Security, let me know my gymnastics were caught on film & watched by him, albeit with some concern for my welfare. No doubt this footage will be trotted out for the “yeor-my-yeor” & amusement of everyone.
As the evening progressed, my body packed-up. Dinged fingers, chunks out of both palms, wrist attached to the right aching, 2 painful elbows, jippy right ankle (it’s always been a hypochondriac!), a cricky neck, & a FREAKING sore back! My coat’s still in one piece & unstained though, thank goodness! Wounded pride for a while as well, until I started having ‘3rd person’ mental pictures of the incident..very funny! Writing about it now, & cataloguing my aches, it’s even funnier ;oD!! And, I have to count myself lucky this is the 1st time it’s happened, & I was ‘home’ when it did. I’m not about to insult the Gods by taking a lottery ticket today, even if I thought I could hobble to the Lotto equivalent.

Irene invited me to a drum & beat do tonight. Probably right up my alley, but I’m past destroying my week by staying up all night on a Monday (why aren’t these parties on a Friday then, aye?), & besides my body had packed up so much by then I wouldn’t’ve challenged an 80-year-old babushka to a race for my OWN pocket!

I’ve all-but finished editing the 60 Parallel document; have spent a fair amount of time writing to you, & now my neck & right arm are killing me. Enough of my wounds, I’m off to twirl in Voltarin gel, then to bed, sleep, & heal.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005 Jingoes! An interesting array of bruises across my back & on my elbows. I didn’t think it could happen, but I hurt more today than last night; consequently I expect a lavish rainbow to appear over the next few days. Where’s a nice hot bath when you need one?

With Monya’s departure, Possum’s using her imagination again. As quickly as I tidy up my room, she’s discovered something new to pull out. Today’s favourites are the box my nifty anti-mozzie machine came in (kept for packing), a pussy willow branch (she stole from the rubbish bin), & a Pringles Original tube. She’s awfully cute with her play, but I’d really like to have a clean & tidy room again.
Not much chance of that clean & tidy room though, even if Possum goes; as I pack things up there’re stacks against the walls; that pile for shipping, this pile for taking, another pile for donations, the pile over there for handing over to Nelly for safe-keeping until Juneen arrives, a daily pile for the bin.
I’m furious with myself & Murphy. I tossed the courier bags my dress came in into my office bin yesterday. This morning I realised they’ll be great for packing ‘precious’ things cos they’re bubble-stuff. Into my office, & blow me down, someone’s been in & emptied the bin. Given it was emptied last week by the cleaner for the first time in almost 5-months, I can’t believe it’s been proactively emptied again so soon, & without me being there to give her access! <@#%^*>!

Wednesday, November 16, 2005 Nelly’s & my raucous laughter reverberating from my office brought Irina Anatolievna & Svetlana Anatolievna rushing in to find out what’s up. What was UP were the photos of me in my green dress. Nelly & I were both saying “Yeor-my-yeor!” & “probably not!” Irina Anatolievna & Svetlana Anatolievna didn’t see the funny side at all to start with..”Klasna Prue! Kraseevy! You must wear it!” (Cool …! Beautiful!) Then “(girly giggles) We didn’t know there’s so much of you; if you don’t want all of ‘that’ can we have some?”

Lovely wee Vladimir came & presented me with 2 DVD’s; one of photos of Surgut, one a night film of Surgut he, his mum, & Alexei filmed for me. Gorgeous, thoughtful young men, & lovely mum, none of them have even been my students!

Thursday, November 17, 2005 Cute, cute, cute little 1st-year man, Nasid, treated me with charades to complement his sketchy English explanation for why he hadn’t eaten all day. Contrary to my assumption that it was due to some religious occasion, it’s because he’s been too busy with ‘repetitions’ (‘Rehearsals!’ The word is ‘rehearsals!”..can’t get this one through to them!)..fabby Saturday Night Fever maneuvers..”oh very sexy!” I said in a nice but droll way.
In all seriousness, “Yes I know Prue, you’re not the 1st woman to have noticed, or said this to me!”
As I made a dash to kak myself in private, one of his mates called out to me “Hey Prue! He’s as sexy as a silly black monkey, isn’t he?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
Gotta bless the way you men show affection for your mates! I never would’ve made it to my office without cracking up, & this 2nd little man let me off the hook.

Today’s teaching success: I gave Valentina ‘The Prophet’ as an e-book on Tuesday, & she came springing into the room tonight full of joy & enthusiasm. “Prue, I am very happy! I want to show you something!” Out came a clear-file..she’s printed the book so she can have it with her all the time. “This book is about me, my beliefs, & the way I live!” she said. I’d hoped she’d like it & it would be useful for her. Now I’ve finally got something concrete to work her lessons around. Trying to perform with topics like Buddhism & reincarnation, her real interests, has been impossible! I don’t know enough, & have struggled to explain some of the concepts.even to myself.

Today’s amusing teaching moment: Olga said “I’m going to itchy feet!”
“Itchy feet?” My 1st thought was of the monthly e-mail I get about travel deals from a crowd calling themselves ‘Itchy Feet Travel’. But no, what she’d actually tried to say was “…achieve it!”

How about if I dress up as a 19th-century ‘English lady’

This is the 2nd to last message coming to you from snowy Surgut.

Friday, November 18, 2005 I don’t want to talk about it! Hideous!!! Yeah I do. Mayster went dog on me because I refused to meet with him alone after 9pm to ‘discuss things’. “What’s the point?” I said. “He doesn’t speak English, I don’t speak Russian! Why won’t he meet with me during the day, when there’s someone to translate?”
Valentina went into black despair when I told her I was leaving..”But I like having you as my teacher..I get what I need from you! What about my future? What about my dream of Tibet? What about the kitten? It’s a terrible world & life!”

Saturday, November 20, 2005 Finished reading ‘Great Expectations’. Despite the old writing style, a good tale; if you haven’t already, read it.

Hit ‘the net’ & formally accepted my new job. The only potential spanner in the works is I need to send my teaching license back to NZ for ‘apostille-sealing’ & notarising (please don’t let this be a long procedure!).
So now I’m throwing caution to the wind & letting you know I’m heading for Mexico..hence the cryptic hint about ‘Bandits’..they ended up in Mexico! Shades of last year’s coincidences once I agreed to Siberia.
I’m going to Aguascalientes, Mexico to be precise.
Mineral springs near the city make Aguascalientes a popular health resort. It's a fruit & vege growing area (yummo!), and has a mild climate, never getting really hot, & never getting really cold. Points of interest include an immense network of catacombs, built by an unidentified pre-Columbian people (wow, now that's interesting!) The job is teaching adults mostly.
I momentarily panicked..”oh God, noooooooo! I’m going to a diet of beans & corn!” They ARE staples & apparently when combined make the perfect source of protein. Good-o but there’s plenty of other food I’m more interested in & will suit my belly; bring on the guacamole! I’ll have my own kitchen to cook what I want – fantastic steaks (with coriander & avocado), deliciously spiced & herbed chicken (with coriander & avocado), lots of fresh salads (with coriander & avocado)! YEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAA!
My greater concern,,tequila. I HATE that muck! I’m hoping that Mexicans are not so precious as Russians about their traditional ‘poison’. No amount of ‘training’ will ever see me master that art! Nor do I want to!!!

I’ve had a couple of e-mails from an Aussie chicky (Danielle) working there now & it sounds really good..though I’ll be the ‘aunty’ generation of the school.
It’s easy to get reliable-ish info about ‘today’s weather’ but I haven’t managed to find anything concrete about the climate as a whole. Danielle’s insight today was “It’s getting really cold now!” Apparently it almost never gets as low as 0C, they haven’t had snow in 5-years.
I checked my internet ‘weather guru’ & found a high of +18C & a low of +15C for today, projected low for the ensuing week..an evil +10C. Oh, p-lease! Danielle’s from Queensland, so I’ll excuse her.

Tonight’s the first night since my arrival that I thought “Sod off with your racket underneath me!” Definitely on the wind-down. Mark’s invitation to a home cooked meal, a couple of hours of peace & quiet greedily snatched. His revelation: one of his students told him today there’s another Kiwi teaching here! Shock! Probe! “Where’s she teaching? What’s her name? How old is she? Where’s she from EXACTLY? How long has she been here?” No answers..yet!

Sunday, November 20, 2005 Pretty much packed up & ready to go after today; my rooms are back to looking Spartan..almost no sign of Prue. The only truly important thing left to do is dispatch my ‘treasures’ to NZ. I have obsolete paper to dump, food items to consume or pass on, & that’s it.
The packing exercise was interesting. In fact, almost all of the clothing I have needs to go to Mexico..the long johns can probably be ditched. The difference between the locals & me is that I wear loads of light layers to survive the conditions here, each layer is an item in its own right, & can be worn individually. I’ll doubtless end up shaving the fur lining out of my boots.
The only things I haven’t packed are the bare minimum to get me through the next couple of weeks, most of which are scrunched up in my washing bag so I need to get hold of the laundry key urgently! And regularly thereafter. My pack’s reserved for these bits. The exceptions are my green dress & black suit jacket..farewell do options & either is easily rolled into my suitcase at the last minute.

I stopped to look at my world map; if I fly all the way, I reckon I’ll go Moscow/USA/Mexico. I’d love my USA stop to be New Orleans, but I’m not sure how practical or doable that is..it may be better to save New Orleans for a weekend trip later; the Mardi Gras possibly. There’s a 3-week celebration in Mexico at that time, & the whole place shuts down to party..tequila, greasy food, & bull fights apparently. I don’t fancy watching the bull-fights, so I’d opt for a siesta (if I can’t dodge the tequila) or healthy bike ride when they’re on. Perhaps a trip to coincide with some jazz fest in New Orleans would be better? Yeah, I think that one!
The alternative is to make a slower trip by train from Moscow across Europe, then fly from France or Spain straight to Mexico. If I go this way, then I need to work out the feasibility of forwarding unaccompanied luggage. The obvious thing to forward is my lappy, but I’m not sure I’ll survive without it to record my experiences & download photos. Nope, I’ll just have to take it & my camera to the bathroom every time I go. Everyone keeps telling me traveling by train is difficult; no proper bathing facilities (that used to be a serious must-have for me, but now I've lived through a month in Surgut with sponge baths), freaks & geeks wherever you look (as an Olympic-class freak magnet I should see more than most). I REALLY want to have a train adventure though! How about if I dress up as a 19th-century ‘English lady’..surely that’ll place me high on the scale of freaks & everyone’ll leave me alone? Or a Mohawk princess, with tomahawk firmly clenched between my teeth? That might work!
One thing’s for sure, it’s best for me to fly into Mexico than go by road..land border rules are tougher than airport restrictions, plus the warnings about highway robbery are unnerving to say the least.
Many hours invested in Mexico research now, very little that’s worse than the warnings about Russia, I’m feeling a bit nervous never-the-less. No doubt a combination of no ‘buddies’ to reassure me this time, & some measure of Russian paranoia having rubbed off..as I’ve been too recently accused of.
Checking my vaccination certificate, I must revisit Hep A & Rabies shots..YUK! They’re the worst ones I had. A Yellow Fever shot should be added to the torture. Malaria & Dengue Fever are present in Mexico, not where I’m going thank goodness, but I need to consider the risk if I travel out of my immediate area. Now I’m remembering what it’s like to be a baby!
I’ll get all the shots in Mexico because my originals haven’t expired yet, I’m more inclined to trust the currency of their vaccines, & I just don’t fancy going to a Russian vaccination centre if I can avoid it.

Monday, November 21, 2005 Vasily invited me to join him in the library for tea & cake this afternoon to celebrate his birthday. An obligatory invitation, & in view of the all time low in our working relationship I didn’t attend.
Nelly didn’t go either due to a conveniently scheduled lesson. After her lesson, she & I went to have lunch & she told me on the way “Vasily has told Mayster that we didn’t have tea with him, & Mayster’s very angry with us!” A blatant lie because Mayster’s in Moscow today! I called her on it, & she didn’t bat an eye. Un-be-lievable!
I’m to spend Saturday with Nelly & family.

A phone call from Natasha; Maks is in Moscow until 5 December. Gutted! Unless we can catch up in Moscow, I won’t get to say goodbye to him. I’ll see Natasha on Sunday.

A text message as well as an e-mail from Vadim; he’s worried cos he hasn’t heard from me for a couple of weeks. With any luck he’ll be in Moscow when I’m there.

Two lessons tonight, & I told the students I’m leaving at the end of next week. I tried to buoy their spirits by reminding them there’s a new teacher for next year, & assuring them she’s good. “How do you know she’s good?” A fair question, & I have no idea, so I focused on the fact that she’s been teaching for 3-years, & so has much more experience than me. No good, they claimed they only want me. Very flattering, but they’ll get over me once I’m out of sight.
My greatest disappointment is that Lena, my absolute beginner, performed like a star tonight, in spite of a week without lessons, & I so hate to leave her at this very important point! Real progress shown by her being able to answer questions out of the usual order that I give them, & applying what she’s learned to questions about her family. She’s even getting the hang of ‘a, the, he, his, she, her’..no mean feat for a Russian. Awesome! I was on the verge of despair a couple of weeks ago when after 4 weeks of lessons (16 hours) plus homework time she still didn’t know what ‘ears’ were, & pointed to her eyes when she said earrings even though we’d just finished with ‘eyes’. Patience, tonnes of encouragement (including getting next-lesson students to translate high praise), & plenty of laughs have brought us both huge rewards. It’s lessons like this one that remind me why I want to do this job.

Irene & Olga wanted to know about ‘the green dress’ as they’d seen it hanging up the day it arrived. I told them it probably won’t get an airing & why. “Show us, show us! We don’t believe you, & even if it’s true, show us, show us! … ooooh, yes there is a lot more of you than we’ve seen! It’s good Prue! We approve! Is that a special bra you’re wearing? No? Then you should wear the dress & be proud! Your son would be proud of you!”
“HAHAHAHAHA! No my son would NOT be proud of me; he would be shocked & wanting to fight off every man staring! And they will stare, won’t they! They won’t be looking at my eyes when they talk to me, will they!”
“Yes, I understand what you’re talking about,” said Irene sagely as she thrust her own excellent 23-year-old ‘rack’ out with pride & for bonus attention “but it’s not that unpleasant you know. My advice is that you should wear it!”

Back to my room, & Possum’s been going crazy! Pot plants all over the floor, CD’s spread about the place, nothing left on the coffee table, candles smashed to smithereens, cosmetic bag thoroughly unpacked & scattered, rubbish bin upturned with all paper & tissues shredded from one end of the room to the other! Deep sigh & damage repaired, company hasn’t settled her down, she’s determined to chew her way through live electrical cables. I think there’s speed in the box of cat biscuits I bought her. The water pistol has given up the ghost tonight so she’s happily flicking me her middle claw as she races from one point of destruction to the next. I caught her once & really wanted to rattle some sense into her but “NEVER SHAKE A BABY!” crossed my mind, so had to be content with “BLOODY NO!” Little maggot! Once released she squeaked “up yours!”, disconnected my lappy 4 times, cleared the coffee table again, & smashed her way through my crockery. I’m about ready to toss her out the window! No really, I am! I’ve never come across such a willful & destructive creature!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005 Odd today; the last few days I’ve been excited & feeling like I can’t wait to go. This morning I woke up fragile & tearful thinking about saying goodbye, still looking forward to leaving though. I’m going to have to be careful over the remaining time; this swirl of emotions may end up making me grumpy.

Nelly arrived in my office barking at top volume & stroppy as hell..”what currency do you have in NZ, & what’s it worth in roubles?” Been through this a thousand times with her, what’s another 10 today?
5-minutes later she’s back in my office..with a bloke. “Nelly! I’m not dressed properly (summer tank top), just a minute..I’m sorry, excuse me, I’m sorry!” as I scrambled into a jumper. This man wants to take a trip to NZ, needs to have some idea of what it’s likely to cost him, & where he should visit. Well for starters mate, you’re not gunna be getting a 5-star hotel for 2-weeks in Auckland, with brekky & dinner, for NZ$1000! Quick calculations for airfares & accommodation, suggested itinerary of Auckland/Bay Of Plenty/Nelson/Christchurch, & they were off cos Nelly was late for her lesson. I wish there’d been more time to find out exactly what this man wants..Bay of Islands, Coromandel, Hawkes Bay, Wellington, Dunedin/Queenstown might be better recommendations. He must do the Bay Of Plenty though!

I’m very confused! I phoned Dmitri II’s wife to book my flight out of Surgut & “Aye? You don’t make flight bookings?" "Ok" she said, "I’ll call you back in an hour.” An hour later, she’d phoned around looking for the best deal & Dmitri will take me to buy my ticket tomorrow. I don’t get it! She works for a travel agency, she’s just back from a reconnaissance trip, they both suggested I make my travel arrangements through her cos she speaks English, & now she tells me she doesn’t book travel. Bi-ZARRE!
Toldga there’d be anecdotes about internal travel bookings, didn’t I?!

Popped in to welcome Sergei & Irina back from their trip to Egypt, & to let them know I’m leaving. Sergei’s agreed to come to the last 4 Planeta evening lessons, but Irina can’t make it. They'd bought me a pen & a couple of papyrus bookmarks in Egypt, hieroglyphics on all. The pen’s a stainless steel jobby with gold hieroglyphics. Very suave!

60 Parallel has a heap more work for me. I’ve calculated that I’ll be paid NZ$65 for the 5.5-hours I spent on the 1st piece. Not a great hourly rate, so I’ll offer to continue doing the work (cos it’s blimmin interesting), & ask them to donate my fee to worthy causes.

Wednesday, November 23, 2005 Dmitri took me to buy my ticket today. The reason his wife couldn’t sort it out is because her company doesn’t handle domestic travel bookings unless there’s international travel involved.

52 KG’S!

Well peeps, this is the last message you’ll get from me in Surgut.

Thursday, 24 November 2005 Purge, purge, purge..Watergate/Pruegate? 5 bags & 2 bins of notes, paperwork, homework, & lesson material destined for the skips..a few hand-shredded, some scrunched, most just biffed. Reams of paper for recycling.

I had a very unsettling afternoon, in an already unsettled time. I finally decided to watch the DVD that Sergei gave me about Noni Juice. I’ve been putting it off as I’d assumed it would be a full-on marketing production; Noni works like Amway.
Nothing of the sort; it was a lovely little romantic story about an abandoned baby washed up on the shores of some South Pacific island, & after years of adversity grew up to be a great guy who reaped his just rewards.
It was filmed in New Zealand & the Cook Islands.
What was unsettling? The cast were New Zealanders! George Henare, Rawiri Paratene, Joe Foelau, Hori Ahipene, Jay Lagaia, … Very weird to see so many familiar faces, & to hear so many people talking with a Kiwi accent.

Mayster came to talk to me today. He’s finally accepted the reasons for my early departure & stopped sulking..kind of.

Valentina returned the tourism video of NZ I lent her. She was wildly excited but also said it made her cry. “You have a beautiful country Prue! I want to walk it! Why would you ever leave? Why would you come to a place like Surgut?”
Of course she’s right; we all know it, but sometimes you just have to go without to appreciate what you have. As for Surgut..I’ve already said it all.
I asked her to let me take a photo of her, quickly adding “for memory Valentina” because I know how anti she is about having her photo taken. “Tomorrow Prue; ok?”

It was finally brought home to me; none of my students expect lessons after Wednesday next week, because Thursday is 1 December..a new month. I wasn’t prepared for this reality; I’d expected to teach on my final night here. I’m not sure what to do. Refrain at my own farewell do, & teach afterwards. Hold back at the do & have a sociable time with students after. Let rip, & have a great time at Planeta’s expense. Mayster still hasn’t paid me for October, & so the next few days will have some bearing on my decision.

What was supposed to be a quick drink after work turned into a very late night. No drunken affair, but certainly more than the 2 quiet pints anticipated; the bar staff decided to be especially hospitable & wanted to chat.
As usual, Mark & I went our separate ways at the end of the bar’s driveway. As I waited at the traffic lights for the cross signal, a car skidded to a stop on the other side of the road; a bloke came racing towards me & was obviously yabbering at me. I was about to turn tail & run, when I realised it was the barman.
“Oh, hello.”
“Come with me! Get into the car!”
“No, I’m fine thanks!”
“Get In The Car!”
“NO! I’m going home!”
“I KNOW you’re going home, we’re driving you there!”
Once again, I was faced with determined Russian ‘gentleman’ behaviour; it’s unacceptable to allow a woman they like to walk alone at night. They were furious with Mark for leaving me to walk alone, no matter how much I tried to explain that he always offers & I always turn him down. As far as they’re concerned he’s negligent for accepting ‘no’ for an answer.
Damned if I know how ‘bar boy’ knew it was me..he’s never seen me coated, scarfed, gloved, & hatted before..all of these bought here so there’s no neon flashing ‘FOREIGNER’ cut to my clothes, I hadn’t made it to the skiddy part of the walk therefore giving myself away with “woops” & ‘windmills’. I’m left thinking they were either lurking in the shadows waiting to see if Mark & I are ‘an item’, or I walk funny!

Friday, 25 November 2005 Thinking more about last night; I’m not sure whether I should have the willies about how trusting & foolish I am, or whether I should consider myself a good judge of character at last. Either remains a moot point..if I hadn’t given in, I’d’ve probably been picked up & forcibly put into the car.
It’ll be hard going back to square one in a new country, learning a different culture, & being wary of everyone until I start understanding how they tick.

Wow! I heard Mayster in total unrestrained tantrum today. I was outside; he was in his office 2 floors up & behind double-glazing. I have no idea who the victim was or the crime committed, but it was nasty; screaming, bellowing, filthy language, & incredible table smashing! The man’s a stroke waiting to happen!

Valentina swanned into the classroom this evening, just as I suspected, wearing makeup. It’s the 1st time she’s worn makeup in more than 12-months. “I wanted to look nice for New Zealand!” BLESS! I wish she wanted to look good for Surgut & herself, because the transformation was wonderful..not just an attractive change to the way she looks, it also affected her outlook..a little.
She wanted to postpone the photo session until the end of the lesson. All cool, I was happy to do so. Now I’ve seen the results, I want to go back & do it all again. Not because the 1st lot were bad, but because I want to do better by her. I can’t help but think she chooses to present herself as not so attractive to the world because that’s the way she’s been made to feel. Yes, an easy assumption made by those of you in blissful monogamy or matrimony, & we eternal romantics no matter how cynical. Even if she truly does want to withdraw from the world, it can’t do any harm to give her some flattering pics, if only to pass on to her daughters & grandchildren.
Ben & possible grandchildren have been the primary motivation behind the photos I’ve allowed to be taken, & posed myself this last year; I wish I had more of MY family!

Saturday, 26 November 2005 Spent the day with Nelly & family. As soon as I’d finished stripping off outdoors layers, Natalya presented me with her farewell gift..a dangly silver Playboy bellybutton stud thing. :-O Any takers?
Nelly & Victor gave me earrings & a necklace..faux black pearls & diamantes, it’s a nice little set.
Nelly told me my farewell do will be changed to Wednesday as Mayster is going to Tyumen on Thursday, though I’m not to know this UNTIL Wednesday. It really doesn’t suit me because I have lessons on Wednesday that can’t be rescheduled to Thursday due to the student’s commitments. Fab! A Clayton’s farewell..5-minute appearance “Hi everyone, sorry can’t stay, gotta work, have a great time farewelling me; Nelly will be ‘proxy Prue’ so just direct all your speeches at her, & she’ll respond on my behalf. Thanks for coming!” Madness!
I asked Victor & Nelly how I go about couriering my docs back to NZ; they have no idea, don’t know anything about couriers! “You mean a telegram? … A fax then? …”
sigh I’ll send them from Moscow next week..it’ll probably be cheaper & quicker anyway.
I was in luck; Victor was shattered after performing in a concert & kipped for a couple of hours, vodka consumption kept to a comparatively low level, Nelly was smashed anyway. Tear jerky toasts accompanied each shot, in-between conversation determinedly maudlin in spite of my steering onto happier topics. By 12:30am I’d run out of energy & headed for home.

Sunday, 27 November 2005 I didn’t end up seeing Natasha today; she’s ill. Hopefully she’ll be well enough for me to see her before I leave.
Heaps of people are sick, which is probably due in main to the inexplicably strange weather. By now, we should be firmly into constant -20C, but we’re averaging about -8C. I also suspect the shortened daylight hours have a lot to do with poor health & low spirits. Sunrise currently at 8:25am & sunset at 3:20pm, daylight hours to get progressively shorter still, I’m finding myself the reverse of the summer months when White Nights had me awake for 20-hours a day. No doubt, a ‘normal’ reaction, now all I want to do is sleep. Vivaciousness & energy a dim memory; hate that!

I spent a good part of the day ferrying a seemingly endless supply of rubbish to the skips. It never ceases to amaze me how much I hoard ‘just in case’…
I phoned Alex to let him know I’ll be arriving in Moscow on Friday, & was very relieved by his excitement. Phew! I’m still an insecure bimbo sometimes!

At some point in each of the last 3 days it’s occurred to me “this is my last Friday night/Saturday/Sunday in Surgut.” It’s a funny feeling; a little bit sad, a little bit exciting, quite a bit scary, & has caused a fair amount of home-sickness too. By the end of next year I’m sure I’ll be well & truly in need of, & unable to resist a NZ & Oz fix.

There was something else I wanted to tell you about today, but I just can’t think what it was! Alzheimers!

I plan to spend the next few days compiling photo albums for Nelly & Victor, & Valla. Also a DVD of the video’s I’ve shot with them. One of you (sorry, can’t remember who) sent me an e-mail with picture attachments (actually, probably you, Lynne) that included a pic of a couple of surfers confronted by a wave solid with dolphins. It’s an awesome picture; Natalya’s besotted with dolphins, so I want to have this pic printed & framed for her. My idea was to buy Helen a bellybutton adornment..would it be too conspicuous to give her a dangly Playboy one? Yeah, I guess it would. Wrong too; she’s only 14 so something suitably garish & sparkly is the order. Scratch that; I want to give her a classy one that she’ll mature into.

After many giddy ideas & much deliberation, I’ve decided to buy Alex & Vadim a Roget’s Thesaurus each, plus grab an old thesaurus from Gutenburg for them both. It’s crossed my mind plenty of times & been scotched because I kept thinking “(yawn) BORING! SO teacher-ish, & impersonal!” Having spoken to them both since they’ve started their new jobs, hearing about their problems with report writing & communicating with expats, I think it’s a good idea. They’ve both asked me to recommend a good dictionary, neither has understood ‘thesaurus’. Before he left, I told Alex about Grandma’s thesaurus (published in the 19th century) vs. the latest edition, my preference for Grandma’s, & why. He was (yes, it sounds nerdy to you) very excited.
If it works, then I reckon it’ll be the best gift I can give them, & one to ensure they remember me every day. Yerk, I feel like an old librarian/Sunday school teacher!

Monday, 28 November 2005

Tuesday, 29 November 2005 Best laid plans of mice, men & Prue came to nothing today.
I’d intended hitting town to deplete stocks of cheap tiny stuffed dogs to supplement the flowers to be bought tomorrow. Why dogs? 2006 is the Chinese calendar ‘Year of The Dog’ of course!
Plans laid to waste by:
1) Nelly being in a needy mood & demanding constant hip contact
2) Planeta students’ hell bent on in-depth communication using just 3 English words each & calling for an additional 3 words from every student that passed by (a domino effect, precious time ticking by)
3) Foody chicks producing previously untasted, additional & un-needed morsels during the lunch break..designed to add a further 5kg’s to my hips & chest in the remaining few days of my sojourn
4) Protracted silent hugging & stroking from staff
5) A visit from Mark to ask me to meet for a drink tomorrow night, much to Nelly’s delight & necessitating a 30-minute debrief
6) Renewed loving from Mayster
7) A student arriving for the 6:20pm lesson at 5:30pm; confusion for her, me, & everyone else, 1 lesson turned into 2
...
… & the shops closed for the day

Lessons over, I was collected by Olga, Irene, & Sasha, & taken to the popular nightclub, Jumanji.
Dire warnings about the severity of Security had me quaking in my boots..pffffff! ‘Security Monster’ was thoroughly amused by my posh hat being loaded up with cell phone, keys, cigarettes, lighter, docs & money pouch laden with coins for begging babushka’s, so I could pass through the security scanner, & Olga’s explanation “she’s foreign…” “Of course!” he said, with a grin.
Animals leaping off pedestals & out of the walls, Russian billiard tables (“do you want to play?” … “Absolutely not!”) & a restaurant on the 2nd floor, 10-pin bowling & a restaurant on the 1st; our destination was the 1st floor restaurant..calyaan smoking! Yipeee, at last!
Basically, it’s a water bong/hookah (sp?) & you smoke a cocktail of whatever fruits take your fancy. Especially for me, after their sneaky questioning & my naïve answers, we smoked melons & citrus. Fagger’s & inhaler’s cravings quenched, no tobacco stench, & if you want ‘something more’ without breaking the law, you substitute the water with cheap ikky wine. I WANT ONE OF MY OWN! Even more than I want a Russian BBQ!!
Great entertainment for me, the amusement not understood by my mates; one bloke HURLING/BOUNCING his ball from the bowling line (good grief, don’t tell me I could be considered a stylish bowler here!), another bloke bowling ‘appropriately’ clothed in suit, tie, & Ronald McDonald shoes (“Come on! Why?” … “It’s the dress standard required for entry to this club, Prue!”). Insanity! And they agreed.
Irene gave me a sparkly keyring..a Great Barrier Reef fish (she can’t stand Russian souvenirs). Sasha gave me the most amazing piece of hand-craft..a delicately wood carved map of Tyumen Oblast (equivalent of our Bay Of Plenty/Auckland/Queensland/Far North Queensland) complete with Siberian Coat of Arms. Awesome! Another thing to be treasured, if I can get it home!!
An unplanned late night..approx. 4 hours sleep before ‘get up’ time..at this rate I’m going to sleep through Moscow!

Wednesday, 30 November 2005 Farewell lunch day; an ‘interesting’ affair. Mayster seated me next to him so he could hug & kiss to his heart’s content. I’m glad I didn't wear the green dress!
I asked Nelly to translate my speech, which wasn't too successful cos she broke into a panicky sweat & cried her way through it. Some of the others blubbed too, & I was none too composed by the end of it. Don't you hate that?!
They gave me a really pretty rose gold ring, set with a diamond & 2 mystery stones (maybe black agate). I had a spot of trouble concentrating on work afterwards cos I keep waving my hand around to admire the ring! Shallow cow!

Marina & Igor dropped in to say hooray; another emotional 30-minutes.

Drinks with Mark; he gave me a cute little Khanty-Mansi handcrafted leather & fur pouch for my cell phone, as a farewell gift.