2006: Mexican Madness - I Made it Through the Baptism Without Making a Fool of Myself

3.7.2006
Well, that's not strictly true. I missed the church ceremony because the directions to the church I was given were so meagre. Finally found a taxi driver who knew the church. I arrived in time for the photo session at the end of the service! "Nice performance, Prue Jarvis!"
That said, my student was thrilled I made the effort, which is more than could be said for some of his other friends. They reserved themselves for the party afterwards.
I was given the dubious honour of holding the baby at the church, & then transporting him to the party venue. Having completed that mission successfully, he was left to take a bottle & sleep in my trustworthy arms. Of course it really was an honour..it ensured all friends & family came in contact with me. Jorje (Hor-he) aka George, & his wife Cecy proudly stood by & introduced me to each person as "mi maestra d'Inglis" (my English teacher!).
"Oh!" they all said. "She's so tall! It's obvious she's a foreigner; where's she from? New Zealand? Wow!..that's in Europe, right?"
Big wide eyes when I explained NZ is south & to the right of Australia. My Span-glish is getting better.
"Ah, that explains your height..we've watched rugby on TV, & have seen Jonah Lomu. You must be about the same size as him, aren't you! Can you explain Rugby to me? How much does it cost to get to Mexico from NZ?"
All I could manage to interpret from a semi-skilled English speaker is that they think New Zealand is Nova Scotia. Hang on..isn't Nova Scotia in Canada? Since when was Canada part of Europe? Is it possible there're people in this world with worse geographical knowledge than mine?

It was a weird experience standing in a room with 150 men & women, & towering over all of them! Though I've never considered myself short, it IS a strange experience being able to look across a room over everyone's heads!

There's a tradition similar to a lolly-scramble for the kids. Instead of lollies though, money is tossed. I was pleased to be standing outside whilst this was going on inside. A life-threatening event!

The food: shatter me, it was amazing! Entirely catered by Jorje & Cecy..not a maize dish in sight, & only one bean dish..frijoles..which I like. Jorje was overseeing the food table, & made sure I understood what every dish was, & was tickled when I went for everything loaded with chilli. He was absolutely thrilled when I went back for seconds. Not so me; I overloaded my belly & regretted it later..piglet! Just like the runt of a litter, I have a terrible tendency to gorge myself when presented with yummy food! I should've woken up this morning back at 76kg's..thank goodness for my over-zealous metabolism these days!

I met a lovely woman who lives in Mexico City. She's opened her home to me; I can stay there whenever I want & for as long as I need. I may take her up on her kind invitation on my way out of Mexico.

I'm so relieved I didn't follow the advice of 'Mark from Siberia'! The subject of his email was "Important Advice on Baptismal Etiquette" ... let me clarify right now..Mark is in fact a Christian..with a delightfully irrevernt sense of humour!

"I hope you have a great time at the baptism. Here are some basic rules for these events.
1. Do not under any circumstances forget to spit in the font.
2. Full frontal nudity is a common occurence, if you see someone else getting their kit off, it is considered impolite not to join them.
3. Turn up drunk , everyone else will. Offer anyone you see in the congregation without a drink a swig from your brown paper bag covered tequila bottle.
4. Roman Catholic priests are celibate so a quick grope under his cassock will be a welcome break for the poor guy.
5 In the event of a fight breaking out, which is quite likely, stand behind the oldest lady you can find and accuse her as convincingly as possible of being the ring leader.
6. It is important to be certain exactly who the father of the child is, ask the guy who has assumed this important role if he is absolutely certain of his wifes fidelity. Do this frequently and in front of witnesses.
7. As this is Mexico there will almost certainly be music to accompany the ceremony. The tune is unimportant, all you need to know is the words to "La Cuccuracca". Sing this loudly, particularly during the most solemn moments of the baptism and during any lulls where there would otherwise be silence. Encourage others to join in.

Let me know, if you live long enough, how long your prison sentence will be.

He's such a hoot!

It's election day today. No booze available for sale yesterday or today. Probably a sensible rule, but a little inconvenient for a non-national over the weekend.
On that note, I'm going to "vamos". I need to check the election results on the internet.